My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We have a 5 month old baby together. I love him and he says he loves me... but for the past 2 months he has started getting soft during sex. Hardly ever we have sex maybe 1 a week. He said he is tired from work but I don't know. I know I am bigger after the baby and need to lose weight. He even said he wishes I looked like I did when he first met me. A few times during sex he got soft I felt so bad about myself I just cried. I don't know what to do I really love him and I just want are sex life to be okay? Please help me with any advice!!

Too much too soon. He's most likely overwhelmed by it all.

Stop having sex for a while.

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Originally Posted by palocl07

I don't know what to do i really love him and i just want are sex life to be okay? please help me with any advice!!!!

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Hello p:

Stop crying, and DO something about it! A lifetime of good sex takes WORK. It doesn't just happen. So, go to work. Lose the weight. Make yourself attractive. Put on a skimpy french maids outfit, and meet hubby at the door. Of course, the baby is at your sisters...

Ok, maybe not exactly like I said. But, you must DO something.

excon

If you've been together a little over a year, and you have a 5 month old--you must have gotten pregnant practically the first time you had sex with him.

So... you have had very little time to just have FUN in a relationship, with no responsibilities.

That's not a very stable way to build the foundation you need for the tough and stressful times that come in a relationship.

First and foremost, you need to communicate with him. If you can't talk together about your sex life, then you shouldn't be having sex anyway.

Believe me--stress from work and being tired is a HUGE libido killer. If you don't believe me, ask my husband, who has had to deal with me going to school part time and working overtime at my job for the past 6 weeks. I work, it's stressful, I come home, do homework, it's stressful, by the time I fall into bed, it's VERY late, I'm VERY tired, and the alarm is generally going to go off in 5 hours. My libido is GONE. Luckily, my husband and I can still TALK, so he understands where I'm coming from, even if he doesn't like it.

How old are you both?

Communication could be the key. Talk to him and see if the two of you can come up with some ideas to add some spark.

You must realize that having the baby and the stress just of everyday life will be a damper on your sex life. You will need to work on it together to keep things going but realize that it probably will never be like when you first got together.

But spending some time talking and planning time alone can make your time together more pleasurable.

Your husband may be going through a temporary phase of being stressed. Added to your worrying about your weight may be creating a negative atmosphere you both pick up on.

Start and keep communicating! It can work miracles.