My wife left me for no reason that I could see about 2 months ago,said she she didn't love me anymore & wanted to leave.she said she wanted to be selfish & be on her own yet 4 week later she got with this low life bloke,I was devastated.now I have been told by her mother that she has been diagnosed with ms & I'm racked with guilt & do not no what to do as I do still love her.could the symptoms of ms have caused my separation?

MS takes many different forms, can be chronic, mildly debilitating, regressive, progressive and terribly handicapping. Perhaps she didn't want you to put your life on hold for her, worrying about her and caring for her as she became gradually (or quickly) handicapped. MS affects a person mentally, physically, emotionally -- and is not an "easy" condition to weather.

Any major life altering change, can cause people to do things, and behave in ways, that they wouldn't normally.

That is one possibility.

Another is that perhaps it is just as she said, she was unhappy, and wanted to end the marriage. She said she didn't love you, wanted to be selfish, and be on her own.

If she received her diagnosis while she was still with you, it could have been the catalyst to her leaving, which she may have planned to do anyway.

While you can see no reason for her to have left, does not mean that she didn't have her reasons, obviously.

You may never know, sadly, why she ended it and left you wondering why. I hope that time will answer some of these questions.

Only she can answer that. And most likely, she doesn't know herself.

We can't really know why she left but there's probably some kind of connection here that she would get such a devastating diagnosis and make such a huge and life-altering decision as to leave her marriage at the same time. She could be trying to avoid burdening you and sparing her feelings (leaving before you can leave her). She could see this as a wake-up call - knowing she has an incurable disease, perhaps she feels she needs to not think of others and just live exactly as she pleases while she still can, no matter what. She could just be confused, or depressed, or avoiding facing the diagnosis or a thousand other things.

I would recommend that you reach out to her and see if she'll meet you for lunch or something, let her know you know about her diagnosis, and without trying to change her mind or anything (which could end the discussion if she feels too pressured) just ask her to help you understand what's going on with her.

I'm sorry for both of you that you are going through such difficult times.

Go meet her and ask because clearly there is more to what it just seems. Just talk to her and let her know that you know about her dignosis. And take the conversation from there.

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Originally Posted by afcnut71

my wife left me for no reason that i could see about 2 months ago,said she she didnt love me anymore & wanted to leave.she said she wanted to be selfish & be on her own yet 4 week later she got with this low life bloke,i was devestated.now i have been told by her mother that she has been diagnosed with ms & im racked with guilt & do not no wot to do as i do still love her.could the symptoms of ms have caused my seperation?

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MS could have played a part, but the fact that she is now with someone else means that she isn't interested in being with you at the moment.

That it is her mother who gave you this news makes me wonder if it is true or if mom is attempting to make her daughter's behavior look better than it is. Have you gotten confirmation from anyone else?

I suggest letting go of the guilt, moving on with your life and leaving her to her own. Ill or not, she chose her path. You shouldn't be waiting for her to decide you are a better bet than the 'low life bloke' she took up with four weeks after declaring her independence.