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-   -   Old "friends" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=4883)

  • Nov 1, 2003, 04:21 AM
    Jodi
    Old "friends"
    Im such a compulsive late person. Anyway, I was friends with my girlfriend Lisa for years and years. We are both 27, but we seem really young to people. She is a person that kind of embarasses you sometimes, well anyway, she asked me to be in her wedding this year, (two months ago) I have been having lots of problems at home with my husband and stuff and for her shower I showed up right on time. (not early) I spent 100 dollars for her on a shower gift. + more money which doesn't even matter. Well the rehearsal dinner came and I ran into a mishap I know it was bad but I was 30 minutes late. They were almost done I didn't know those went so fast. Her husband came out yelling I called her and that night she told me I don't deserve a dinner... but be at her house for the wedding 9am sharp! OK so the next day I was getting ready I had to get a couple more things and she called me. The DAY BEFORE the wedding to tell me her husband to be doesn't want me. (hes older like 35 but very immature, smokes pot all the time, kind of a loser always mooches her money, she supports him, and is paying for the wedding. He used to be a gigalo but now just sits in the house with her and smokes pot he is cute but he goes out dirty they drink a lot after work, etc.)... he was very rude and called me immature. I WAS SO SAD and upset about this I cried so hard I never was hurt so bad I love her as a person we've been friends for years. My very best friend (were insepereable... ) somehow got in the middle, and I am really upset about this still. Am I so wrong did I deserve getting kicked out of the wedding the day before?? Do people do that? I didn't mean harm I felt really bad but I tried. I got tired of lisa comparing us too me and my best friend. This is such a mess. :'(
  • Nov 2, 2003, 11:40 AM
    ExclusiveCL
    Re: Old "friends"
    Hey
    Depending on your intention, I'm sure you didn't mean to be late, so in conclusion your friend should be more understanding. But the combination of problems include:
    a) Immature husband
    b) Compliant Wife
    c) Stressfull wedding (they all are)
    d) Lack of communication

    The only thing you can do at the moment is talk to your friend before the wedding. (if that's possible) If it isn't then you have to let the wedding go and move on into keeping your friendship with her after the wedding. If you don't, then her compliancy with her husband will keep getting worse and worse and soon the husband will have contol on letting her see you all together.

    Its unfortunate that you had to take the force of those four problems, so forget about them and have a good rational talk with your friend before/after the wedding because you need each other in the future to talk about problems in relationships.

    Feel Better
    Exclusive
  • Nov 3, 2003, 09:44 PM
    Jodi
    Re: Old "friends"
    You think I should forgive and forget something like that?  Could you?  That hurt my feelings more than anything in the world.  I still haven't talked to her.  I feel like she does not care about me for doing something like that.  You think that should be forgotten?  This broke my heart more than you or I would ever think..
    Thanks for replying.
  • Nov 4, 2003, 05:15 PM
    olka
    Old "friends"
    I see that as long as she & her husband do not change their attitude toward you, you will have disappointments & sadness in your relationship with her.
    It would be much better for you to cool off your relationship with her, forget the unhappy episode & move on with your life. With a husband like that, she will have many problems after their marriage. You'd better keep your distance from them in order for you not to get involved in their business & get hurt. 8)
  • Nov 5, 2003, 09:05 PM
    Jodi
    Re: Old "friends"
    THANK YOU... but do you think she'll ever regret this or be sorry? I haven't bothered with them, out of self-respect, but I think they made a big mistake. I am a very good friend to people and am always there for my friends. I told her about other people who pretend to be her friend and always talk bad about her, I just hope one day she will realize that she lost a great friend. Its so sad to me. :'(
  • Nov 8, 2003, 12:03 PM
    olka
    Old "friends"
    Her husband has bad influence on her. She'll only realize that she made a mistake & lost a great friend when their marriage fails.
    Don't feel too bad about it as there is nothing much you can do really. 8)

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