So I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's a very sad emotional person. He's sad about everything.. everything gets him down.. like for example yesterday he forgot to do something for his dad and his dad was fine with it he didn't care he just told him to do it next time.. and he became totally depressed and he got down and he sad for the rest of the day. How could I help him with this? He's been through therapy plenty of times it doesn't help and the pills doesn't help. Also my best friend chris I've been his best friend for two years and ever since I've been with my boyfriend he would become sad because id talk to him and give him smilies and stuff he thinks that's like flirting which I think is not. And recently I confronted my friend about this and we got in a fight and I'm not talking to him as much.. but I just can't give him up. My boyfriend is still sad even though I'm in a fight with my best friend. Just every day wev been together he would bring him up and he would be sad for the rest of the day. Its like my only hope is to just to give up chris but I cant. My boyfriend is still overally jealous of him and I don't know why he is still because I'm not talking to him. I need HELP because I can't take this anymore! I lost all my friends and I don't want to lose my best friend. He says he's naturally sad everyday and no one can help him I just wish I could help him with this. He gets so mad because he doesn't want it to happen to him but he says he can't change he always has to be sad forever. And I keep telling him he can change this sadneess can't be there forever. Can I do anything to help him? Can I say anythign to him? I desperatly want to help him because its allso DRIVING ME CRAZY!! Please help!

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You can't make him happy. It is not your responsibility to make him happy. You can only make yourself happy.

If being with him is hurting how you feel about yourself, then you need to let him go. He is using emotional blackmail to control what you do and think. That is a very bad and unhealthy thing to do for both of you. By accepting his behavior, you are enabling it and allowing it to continue. You are also damaging your own self-esteem. Do what makes you feel better about you, not what you think will make him happy.

I have to wonder if counseling and medication haven't helped because he doesn't want them too. Some people become almost addicted to being in emotional turmoil to the point where they can't think of life in any other way. You can't fix it or make it better. It is up to him to discover that life can be better if he wants it to be.

Be true to yourself.

I agree with Cat... not your responsibility.

As far as meds, he needs to let his doctor know that his current one is not working. They have other meds that he can try, and possibly different doses. Medications work when taken as directed.

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Originally Posted by bugglez123

i lost all my friends and i dont want to lose my best friend.

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You shouldn't have to lose ANY friends for the guy. A relationship should enhance the quality of your life, not bring it down.

Hi OP I think your b/f is being very selfish towards you, he could be happy if he wanted to be, and Im sure he knows this, as has been said by previous poster, he is controlling you with how he is, he likes the attention it gets him he's a POOR ME, and if you don't want him to continue as he is then for your own well being and happiness end it with him, whilst he can suck you in to feeling sorry for him he will, he likes what he's doing he likes you being concerned.

This person is being very very unfair to you, and it would be much healtheir for you to get out of this relationship.

Tell him to buck his ideas up or you're leaving, that might do it, tell him you're sick of his forever being a misery, that too might do it, tell him to smile for a change, that too might do it.

When his own father wasn't worried about something he hadn't done, what reason did he have to be miserable, NONE so obviously he likes being miserable, so let him be miserable on his own, don't let him drag you down to his level, go out and live your life if he wants to be a misery let him be one on his own.

Don't give your friends up for him if he can't be happy that's his problem not yours...

You're young this should be the happiest time of your life, you should be having fun not sitting around with a gloomy self pitying b/f who only wants to wallow in his own misery, You deserve better much better.

The last thing you need to do is make his problems yours, or get frustrated because you are helpless to change things for him. Back away when you get to overwhelmed, because he knows what his deal is, and has to be proactive in dealing with it. That's up to him, not you.

There are millions of ways to deal with depression, and he needs to keep looking, with the help of his doctor, until he finds a solution.

Don't spend so much time around him, so you don't get sucked into his problems.

You can't FIX him, only he can do that and he has to want to do it, for himself, if all he wants to do is be sad, depressed, all gloom and doom, fine, let him be that but on his own. DUMP the misery.

Get your life back on track and start being happy again, or you'll end up wallowing in the misery with him..,.

He's a manic depressant. There isn't anything you can do for him.

More then likely your boyfriend is going to bring you down with him. You seem like you want to be a happy girl. What are you doing with a sad sap? You may love some qualities of him, but do you actually love him? Can you see yourself having a family with him? Him supporting you and him together? If you can't answer those questions with a straight yes or no answer, then you need to get rid of him.

You gave up your life for this guy. You have no friends. You can't be friends with anyone. You are being accused of flirting with a friend. How much more happiness are you willing to give up to make this dude happy? I guarantee anything that you do do isn't going to make him happy.. Hes depressed. Only he can bring himself out of depression. He needs to go back to his doctor to find some medications that will work for him. Not all pills are the same and not all pills work the same with everyone's body.. If you want to help him out, then you need to help him talk to his therapist more and find a drug that will work.

As for yourself.. I think you should just do what you want to do. If he gets mad, let him get mad. He needs to learn to cope with the obticles life throws at him. You are allowed to talk to anyone you want. Its your God-give right to. Don't let him tell you you cant. Whatever you do, don't let him swollow your life up. Stand strong.