Ask Me Help Desk - Member discussion

DATING.

After many years of trail and error I found my way out of the dating game,I've dated them all! The gooding looking bad boy types,the players,the mama's boys and the 'he's just too nice' guys.

Ive done the internet dating sites ( I used to be a serial dating site logger on-to-er,)having many and varied profiles,I've had blind dates,and even paid a match maker.
Ive been single,married,divorced,single again with kids,as the saying goes,been there done that.

I've read countless books on the subject, from the classic 'the rules' to 'why men love b!tches'.In the end I realised no book could pin point the man I was looking for until I got 'ME' in order,once I started to focus on building myself esteem and confidence,became a happy me,the men flocked!
From where I stood I could see easily the qualities I was looking for in a partner.

I have complied a short list of what I have learned to save you hours of reading and endless heartache.

1. Give a guy a chance,he may not tick your list for good looks or lots of money,but your never know if this is a decent man unless you give him a chance.
Hollywood has sold us the ideal romantic partnership,handsome rich sensitive guy saves you from a near death experience and falls madly in love with you... sorry,but its not going to happen. Most guys are average everyday people just like you,and want an everyday girl,just like you!

Lets be realistic,none of us are perfect,we all have traits that are annoying,we all have our way of doing things,your not snowwhite and real life is not a fairytale,so don't expect a perfect man,expect to be treated with respect,and little consideration.
If you never take a chance, how will you ever know?
If you open yourself to more dating opportunities you increase your chances of finding Mr Right for you.

2. Just because he paid for dinner does not give him any entitlements to your body,never be charmed into compromising your morals or ethics.

3. So you had a great first date,a few laughs,and even a kiss,there were certainly sparks there! He said he's going to call you,there is no need to sit by your phone for the next few days waiting for the call,your phone is working! If he's interested he will call. In the mean time get busy with your life,keep living your life. If he does not call, know you're a great catch anyway, if he does not see that,move on.

Don't waste your time looking back,look forward.

4. Don't limit yourself to one guy. Date lots of guys,it will stop you obsessing over just one and stop you becoming attached too quickly.

5. Do not date married men or attached men (very important!) if after few dates your suspicious or he tells you,leave, leave right then and there and don't look back, you may think he's a great guy,but he's not your guy, don't help him cheat.

6. Don't tell your life story on the first date!
Keep the conversation light and easy.

7. Don't drink too much,there's nothing worse then feeling out of control and
Vunerable with a man you hardly know.

8. Always bring enough money to pay your way and get a taxi home,even though he
Asked you out, better safe then sorry.

9. Dating is how two people get to know each other BEFORE the relationships begins.

10.Be safe,tell someone where your going and who your with,if possibly some contact
Information about your date.

11. A kiss at the office party,does not a romance make! Thread carefully if you have your sights set on someone at work,weight up the pros and cons of persueing this person,ask yourself a few questions, what if it does not work out? Will it put my job at risk? Do I really want to be the office gossip?

Dating is all about having fun and getting to know someone,enjoy yourself,be yourself,take your time and make good decisions,going slow is not old fashioned,its good common sense when your heart is on the line.

This list is not comprehensive, if anyone has any suggestions id love to hear about other suggestions or ideas on dating you may have.

Excellent advice Red... going slow is always best. And being prepared (safe) is always smart.

Stringer

I cleaned it up for word usage, spelling and punctuation. (I am sure WG, will find what I missed. :D)

I love it. I would add to make sure that the person you tell where you are going has his contact information and maybe something about having his personal contact information. Thinking about the ones who date guys they meet through work. All they have is first name and the floor the elevator stops at. :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

DATING.

After many years of trial and error I found my way out of the dating game, I've dated them all! The good looking bad boy types, the players, the mama's boys and the 'he's just too nice' guys.

I've done the internet dating sites ( I used to be a serial dating site logger on-to-er) having many and varied profiles. I've had blind dates, and even paid a match maker. I've been single, married, divorced ,single again with kids, as the saying goes, been there-done that.

I've read countless books on the subject from the classic 'The Rules' to 'Why Men Love B!tches'. In the end I realized no book could pin point the man I was looking for until I got 'ME' in order. Once i started to focus on building my self esteem and confidence, became a happy me, the men flocked! From where I stood I could see easily the qualities I was looking for in a partner.

I have complied a short list of what I have learned to save you hours of reading and endless heartache.

1. Give a guy a chance. He may not tick your list for good looks or lots of money, but your never know if this is a decent man unless you give him a chance.

2. Just because he paid for dinner does not give him any entitlements to your body. Never be charmed into compromising your morals or ethics.

3. So you had a great first date, a few laughs, and even a kiss. There were certainly sparks there!! and he said he's going to call you. There is no need to sit by your phone for the next few days waiting for the call. Your phone is working! If he's interested, he will call. In the mean time get busy with your life. Keep living your life. If he does not call, where's the harm? Your a great catch. If he does not see that, so what, move on.

4. Don't limit yourself to one guy. Date lots of guys. It will stop you obsessing over just one and stop you becoming attached too quickly.

5. Do not date married men or attached men (very important). If a few dates in your suspicious or he tells you, leave. Leave right then and there and don't look back. You may think he's a great guy, but he's not your guy. Don't help him cheat.

6. Don't tell your life story on the first date! Keep the conversation light and easy.

7. Don't drink too much. Theres nothing worse than feeling out of control and vulnerable with a man you hardly know.

8. Always bring enough money to pay your way and get a taxi home. Even though he asked you out, its better safe then sorry.

9. Dating is how two people get to know each other BEFORE the relationships begins.

10. Be safe. Tell someone where your going and who you're with.

Dating is all about having fun and getting to know someone. Enjoy yourself. Be yourself and don't give your heart away too easily.

Happy dating.

Thanks cat,I have some time to edit,if you come up with anything else you think should be included throw it out there.

The adjustments you made have made it more reader friendly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

thanks cat,i have some time to edit,if you come up with anything else you think should be included throw it out there.

the adjustments you made have made it more reader friendly.

Good post redhead.. :)..

Thanks kit,

Is there anything you think I should mention,or left out that you think is important.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

thanks kit,

is there anything you think i should mention,or left out that you think is important.

You said it all.:)

Id like to add something. Irregaudless of what the other person says. If your going to be intimate then be protected. Don't let your partner fool you into anything. Always practice safe ways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I cleaned it up for word usage, spelling and punctuation. (I am sure WG, will find what I missed.

WG just noticed this today and would like to make further corrections. (Make this into a sticky?)

Originally Posted by redhed35

DATING

After many years of trial and error, I found my way out of the dating game. I've dated them all! -- the good-looking "bad boy" types, the players, the mama's boys, and the "he's just too nice" guys.

I've done the Internet dating sites (I used to be a serial dating site logger-on-er) with many and varied profiles. I've had blind dates and even paid a matchmaker. I've been single, married, divorced, single again with kids -- as the saying goes, "Been there, done that."

I've read countless books on the subject, from the classic The Rules to Why Men Love B!tches. In the end, I realized no book could pinpoint the man I was looking for until I got ME in order. Once I started to focus on building my self-esteem and confidence and becoming a happy me, the men flocked to me! From where I stood, I could easily see the qualities I was looking for in a partner.

I have complied a short list of what I have learned to save you hours of reading and endless heartache.

1. Give a guy a chance. He may not tick your list for good looks or lots of money, but you never know if this is a decent man unless you give him a chance.

2. Just because he paid for dinner does not give him any entitlements to your body. Never be charmed into compromising your morals or ethics.

3. So you had a great first date, a few laughs, and even a kiss. There were certainly sparks there! -- and he said he's going to call you. There is no need to sit by your phone for the next few days waiting for the call. Your phone is working! If he's interested, he will call. In the meantime, get busy with your life. Keep living your life. If he does not call, where's the harm? You're a great catch. If he does not figure that out, so what. Move on.

4. Don't limit yourself to one guy. Date lots of guys. It will stop your obsessing over just one and stop you from becoming attached too quickly.

5. Do not date married men or attached men. This is very important. If a few dates make you suspicious or he's eve honest enough to tell you, leave. Leave right then and there, and don't look back. You may think he's a great guy, but he's not YOUR guy. Don't help him cheat.

6. Don't tell your life story on the first date! Keep the conversation light and easy.

7. Don't drink too much. There's nothing worse than feeling out of control and vulnerable with a man you hardly know.

8. Always bring enough money to pay your way and get a taxi home. Even though he asked you out, it's better to be safe then sorry.

9. Dating is how two people get to know each other BEFORE there's a relationship and a commitment.

10. Be safe. Tell someone where you're going and who you're with.

11. Be safe. Always use birth control when "that" moment occurs. Even THREE forms used at the same time is no guarantee you won't get pregnant. Every time you have even protected sex, there is a chance you could become a parent. Abstinence is the only guarantee of no parenthood.

And by the way, the "pulling-out method" is not a form of birth control.

Dating is all about having fun and getting to know someone. Enjoy yourself. Be yourself. Don't give your heart away too easily.

Happy dating.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

2. Just because he paid for dinner does not give him any entitlements to your body,never be charmed into compromising your morals or ethics.

Hello red:

Really? Then it's Burger Barn for my dates...

excon

Great post red:)
Although, I'm pretty sure I will never date again... too many rules:rolleyes:
It's much easier to become "The crazy cat lady":D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Dahlia

too many rules:rolleyes:

Most of the rules are really for the guys. Women don't need no stinkin' rules.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Most of the rules are for the guys. Women don't need no stinkin' rules.

Hmmmm... :) For that very reason they do also...

All I ever needed to know I learned from my grandmother, who said "girls are mean and boys are stupid"...

That has held true throughout my life, in such a fundamental way.

But then again, I like naughty girls with a dash of nice... my weakness or my defect I guess.

I agree with most of the points in question.

Scratch that.

Everything the OP'er vixen wrote is dead on right.

I thought this was well hidden in here!

WG,love the adjustments,it makes it better.

Thank you.

Just thought of something else,you can compile you own list but the only way to set a standard for yourself is to actually go out there and DATE.