My boyfriend and I have gotten very close. While making out, we've already hit a stage where we're both comfortable with him touching my boobs, being shirtless, or being very close. I don't want to have sex, that is where we have drawn the line, but I can tell now that he would at least be happier if I started feeling him "down there". I've always been afraid of relationships and more shy, but I really want to be able to make him happy. I just don't know what I should do.

If you don't feel comfortable then don't move forward. Simple as that.

If you want to make him happy, then start to experiment. No one is perfect the first time around. Maybe not even the second or third time...

Its all up to. It's a choice you get to make. Its completely up to you if you want to move forward. Don't let anyone push you. Make it enjoyable for you and only you... If he gets pleasure from it, then that's just a bonus to the relationship on his end.

Just make the right decision for you. And just you.

Just for reference... how old are you and how old is he? Has he had other partners?

And he is also over 18.

Well if he dumps you because he can't go to 3rd base with you, then you should ditch him now.

If he is a good boyfriend, he will wait for you. Yes he's going to try.. All guys do.. But you need to stand your ground and wait until you are ready.

There are a lot of great guys out there who do wait for their girls to feel comfortable with them sexually. Hopefully your guy is one of them!

Also, to break the ice.. rent a porno. Buy a dirty magazine and look/watch them together. Its going to be silly and you'll probably feel embarrassed, but guess what.. You're doing it together. Its still exotic and sexy. And maybe in the moment, you'll want to do something.

Like I said.. do it for yourself. Not him. And if he walks away, then so be it. Keep your pride and dignity.

Making him happy is not through giving everything you've got. If he loves you he respects everything on you and that would be a great thing to hold on. In that sense if that one is his happiness his looking for something not love.

Stay the way you are. Girls like you are few and far between and that is a compliment. If he loves you he'll wait.

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Originally Posted by kp2171

just for reference... how old are you and how old is he? has he had other partners?

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I would like these questions answered before this thread continues...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

i would like these questions answered before this thread continues...

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She's over 18 and he's over twenty.

Kp read the other threads. One is from 2007.

Danke kk22.

Don't make personal choices based on what will make him happy.

Seriously... I can't even begin to tell you how destructive that can be.

Its fine to push the borders when you aren't quite sure you aren't ready... we do it all the time.. leaps of faith aren't all bad.

But here... you seem genuinely pushed into a corner.

And I can tell you from experience... you can care for a person, even love a person, and have it be bad timing.

Its fine to want to please him. Its natural and normal and even a part of learning how to have a relationship.

But really... here.. you are not comfortable or ready... and that is so OK.

There is a lot of power in understanding where you are and what you are comfortable with and sticking to that.

So... focus less on his happiness. Focus on yours.

If this doesn't make him happy, well, then he isn't focused on you... right?

Listen to what you have been told.
Your happiness...

If you stay within your own boundaries, and do nothing that your not ready for, you will be fine. He can wait until you are completely ready, if he cares.

You should not be doing anything with him. Get married First! Then you know he's in it for the long haul. Then you know he's not just using you!

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Originally Posted by vickshultz

You should not be doing anything with him. Get married First! Then you know he's in it for the long haul. Then you know he's not just using you!

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Very good advice

Just saying from personal experience, marriage does NOT make a relationship. You can be married and still be self centered and destructive.

Sorry.

Vows spoken before God and family and friends don't cut it.

Action over time does.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

just saying from personal experience, marriage does NOT make a relationship. you can be married and still be self centered and destructive.

sorry.

vows spoken before God and family and friends dont cut it.

action over time does.

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If it's the right one and you know that, it's a wonderful thing!

Thanks, I try!! LOL

Thank you all for what you've had to say, I shall keep it all in consideration. Truthfully, it helped more that I kept writing responses to each of your comments, but never posted them. But what I noticed from what I have to say, my boyfriend is one of the most respectful guys I know, and I know he will wait. He is one of the few people that I can trust with myself. We both understand that relationships are difficult. I just will have to get over my shyness someday. (and for you two wondering on ages, I don't want to say exact ages. He and I are the same age, and we are both between 18-21. And neither of us have had other partners or serious committed relationships.)

And for vickschultz, marriage is one of the long term goals which he has already brought up. He knows that sex is not an option until then, and he is fine with that even though it would be a couple years away. He just would like to get a little closer than where we are now.