My best friend has been on my nerves latly. She's going through puberty for the first time (by the way were both 13) I've had mine for 3years so I'm a bit more used to it. But she's going through the whole "ill top what you said everytime" stage. I'll say something and she will somehow find something to top what I said making me feel stupid and look stupid. And I want to talk to her about it but she'll just blow me off and YELL at me for randomly starting a fight. I don't want to fight but I want to let her know how what she's doing to me isn't cool. She also has those out of countrol mood swins that she claims she can't controle but in some way you can and so when ever She's cranky she blames it on puberty. But when she's angry she thinks hse can take ALL her anger out on me because I've been through it. She doesn't know it hurts me a lot. And I'm afraid to tell her... I don't want to ruin our friendship but he doesn't know ever since I was little maybe 6yrs old I've always been peoples stress toy, punching bag and I've let people run me over. And even my mom sometimes takes stuff out on me. And maybe il just messed up because I spent half my life letting people get away with hurting me. But hwne hse hurts me it really makes me mad. I just broke my other friend of the "im always right" "since your going through it ill blow up on you" stages. I don't want to have to do it again,, she's also not very close to her mom and hwn I suggest her being more happy with her mom she bites my head off... you see in 7th grade hse left and went ot a new school and promised me she wouldn't change but did. Now he thinks she knows everything and that I'm never right. I'm going to talk all of this over with her tomrrow. Please tell me what I can do and how I can avoide ripping her annoying head off? And lastly how can I keep this friendship from crumbling? :( xoxo

Hi, peacemaker129!

You can address people who are annoying to you by telling them that you have a problem and would (he or she) be willing to help you to solve your problem. If you make them think that it's your problem, (it is, in a way), then they will be more likely to think that they're a good person because they'll be able to help you to solve your problem. Then, you can go on to tell them what your problem is. Starting to address it in that way makes it more like you're not putting the blame on them.

Also, please don't use chat room abbreviations here, it makes it really hard to understand what you've written. I still don't quite understand everything that you've written.

Thanks!

Maybe but I do want her to know she's slightly runining my life... it really isn't nice or fun to have to deal with...

Are you able to "keep your cool" when you speak with her?

Well it depends... sometimes I can get really mad and exlpode but then again I can stay calm... I plan on texting her "can i call you? we need to talk, i have to get something off my chest." sound calm and OK?

By the way my pic is of her and I. I'm the taller one...

How about calling her rather than texting her and letting her know that you have a challenge with something right now and that you would appreciate it if the two of you could get together to talk about it?

Sorry for the slow response! Am really having connection problems right now!

If you practice what you want to say and be calm doing it, then you'll most likely be able to keep your cool with her. It's important that you be able to keep your cool!

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by peacemaker129

by the way my pic is of her and i. im the taller one....

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Okay! Nice smiles! :)

Well I was going to call her after I text asking.. and I think she's going to be busy all week so we can't exactally get together... but I don't know. I really want to tell her how annoying it is and how I know she can stop and how I hope she can. Just thinking about it right now makes me mad... its just that I've put up with people like this my entire life, and I'm done. I'm tired of people steping all over me and using me as some sort of punching bag... just because I've went through stuff sooner then all the girls in my class doesn't mean I'm a pro and can handle a ton of girls being all crabby then happy the crappy again... -sigh- m life is so screwed up :(

Okay, so you text her. What exactly would you write in the text?

Also, when is the last time that you did something where you could really relax?

"hey can i call you? we have to talk, i have to get something off my back.." that's what I'm going to say and the last time I was relaxed was when I was with my crush whice she ruined too. But I guess listening to music calms me down well. :)

I would suggest not using the words "I have to get something off my back.." That's an old way of doing things for you.

How about, "I'd like your help in solving a problem that I'm having?"

Really, if you try it, you might be surprised at the results.

I'm presuming that you would like to retain this person as a friend. Would you?

You I want to stay her friend but its hard when she's always topping whjat I say making me feel stupid. And I've put up with it and let it slide too much and now I have all my anger bottled up. :( I don't kow how she's going to react even if I'm nice about it- she's EXTREAMLY sensitive or so she tries to be. But she annoys me and I want that to stop but still stay friedns with her. :(

No one can make you feel stupid or anyway unless you allow them to.
So instead of ripping her a new one because you have pent up anger, when she says something to you that you don't like, tell you right then to "just stop it!" Tell her when she does that it gets on your nerves. She may get mad but she'll get over it and will think twice before she does it again.
You have allowed her to treat you this way and so you have to no longer allow it.

That's really good advise thank you. I really love her as a friend but your right I have to put my foot down. I talked to her about it yeasterday and she apoloigized and said she didn't realize she was making me feel stupid and said she'd try hard to stop acting in such a bad way. :)

Continue to stand up for yourself. If you don't know one else will.
I wish you well.