Ask Me Help Desk - What should I do?

I felt in love with a guy who is 10 years older than me. I don't know if he loves me back but I can feel he does by the signs he shows me. I tried to forget about him but it didn't work. I met other guys to get over him but I think there is no one in the world like him. I don't want to tell him how I feel because I know he has some issue about the age. If he didn't he would tell me how he felt. He only shows me signs such as just looking into my eyes for a long time and getting jelouse from other guy who talked to me. I don't know what to do?! Please helpppp.. :)

I think you should tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels... if it is meant to be it will happen... good luck

How old are you?

Depending on the ages involved ten years can be a very big gap in physical as well as mental and emotional maturity. Such as the ocean wide gap between 15 and 25 or 17 and 27. On the other hand 25 and 35 isn't as much of an issue.

Does he already have a girlfriend? Is the relationship (how you know him) between you one that could get him (or you) in trouble if either of you acted on a flirtation?

I am wondering how much of his attractiveness to you is his unavailability. How much of a fantasy have you woven about this man that is keeping you from becoming fully involved in other relationships?

10 years - it seems a concern - if you are older than 30 - not a big deal - younger then it is...
Is he un-married and free to invest in a relationship? Does he have qualities that you admire and is he generous and kind. Is it Ok if he just likes how you look and your youth?

Ask him to lunch and ask him if he likes you and how much? Tell him you like him and you want to explore something slowly - over the next year (best to wait for sex long as possible as it clouds our clear view) - if he is OK with that then you may have a winner.

You fell in love with him so presumably you are dating him - be open and honest. Next date, ask him. I wouldn't trap him in an uncomfortable situation so I would ask the question at the end of the date.

I don't agree in asking him over lunch - he might feel trapped.

I also don't agree with the "one year" rule. I think everyone/every relatonship has a different time table. What works for someone else may not be right for you.

Go with what is comfortable for you.

I don't find a 10 year difference to be a large problem BUT that depends on your age - I date (and married) much older men and it was never an issue. Ten years is not a long time because I have found men mature more slowly than women.

Bracing myself for the hate mail.

I agree that we need to know how old you are. If you're 28 and fall in love with a guy who is 38... it's not THAT big of a deal, but if you're 18, and you fall in love with a guy who is 28... big difference.

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he only shows me signs such as just looking into my eyes for a long time and getting jealous from other guy who talked to me. I don't know what to do?! Please helpppp..

You need more signs, so don't just get so attached until you have them, and can tell if his actions, and words match. Other questions such as your ages, and how long you have been dating are important information to have unless your hiding something. More info please.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

How old are you?

Depending on the ages involved ten years can be a very big gap in physical as well as mental and emotional maturity. Such as the ocean wide gap between 15 and 25 or 17 and 27. On the other hand 25 and 35 isn't as much of an issue.

Does he already have a girlfriend? Is the relationship (how you know him) between you one that could get him (or you) in trouble if either of you acted on a flirtation?

I am wondering how much of his attractiveness to you is his unavailability. How much of a fantasy have you woven about this man that is keeping you from becoming fully involved in other relationships?

I'm 18 and he is 28. He doesn't have a girlfriend. He always had his eyes on me before I knew him and that's where I noticed him. Then I told my friend and she started talking to him.. Then the next day I saw him again and he said hi to me and started talking. My friend never told me what she said to him. After that I could took every single thing he did as a sign that he likes me or maybe I was foolin myself
But I know that a woman can feel if someone has a feeling for you. We started talking on msn and asking me out for sports. Seating beside me all the time and kissin my shoulder and watching out for me were the signs. I don't like him because he is a good looking man, I like him 4 who he is.. 4 his personality, how he acts. He is not like any other guys I met before. He likes to talk to me. I know I'm much younger but if you talk to me u'll notice that my thoughts and ideas seems much older than my age. It's a long time we know each other.

There is more down of this page, I replied to Cat1864 and wrote in red.:)

Some friendly advice about the site: Please do not use chat speak. It is against site rules and can result in having your post and/or thread deleted. We want to give you the best advice we can. Chat speak makes it difficult to read a post and can lead to confusion.

If he is available and you are over the age of majority, talk to him. Tell him what you have told us or just ask him out on a date. Make it something you can afford to treat him to.

By the way, don't be surprised if what he wants isn't a relationship but just a playmate. Instincts sometimes have a difficult time telling the difference between the two.

I got to say, I'm a 24 year old male, and I'm not sure what I would do with an 18 year old girl. Yes, there are many 18 year old girls that are VERY mature, but even at that level, the difference in maturity, life experience, and just the way that people think at 18 and 28 are VERY different.

I'm not saying it is wrong. And there are a few couples that do OK, however, right now, you're either looking at colleges or jobs, just barely out of high school, while the 28 year old has (hopefully) had a job for a while, and experienced so many different things in life. I know a friend who is 22 and is dating a 20 year old, and even at THAT little of an age gap, they have HUGE differences.

Again, if you two are genuinely interested in one another, no one can stop you, but tread carefully, because like Cat said, you could very well turn into a plaything for him.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html

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seating beside me all the time and kissin my shoulder and watching out for me were the signs.

These are the signs that he is an older, more mature guy with experience. Get some more signs, more concrete ones through talking and getting to know him much better. You may be already taken by his confidence, and manners, but don't get carried away by your feelings until you have more facts. Older guys know what it takes to impress less experienced females. Trust me on that.

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I don't like him because he is a good looking man, I like him 4 who he is..

Or who you think he is. Different than what your use to certainly, but a stranger, nonetheless. Lets be real, how many older, mature, and smooth guys have you dated?? Be honest with yourself here, as the question is are YOU experienced? Have YOU ever been experienced??

Be very careful what signs your reading, and what they are telling you. I guarantee he knows. And YOU do not. Never presume, or assume, when it comes to your heart, NEVER!!

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, thats just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

Talaniman Rule- When you see a brick wall, don't go head first into it, and expect to get on the other side.

Talaniman Rule- Never get so carried away by feelings that you can't see the facts.