My boyfriend of like three months and I had a fight over me not liking a girl who is a friend of his because she was rude to me; it was our first fight. He has also been sleeping over and spending most of the days with me as well. He came over the next day after the fight and got some of his stuff together and then sat down in a chair next to my bed and shifted around and wouldn't look at me. I said "I love you and i'm sorry" and he replied with "I know you do but I don't think you understand that I love you". He then proceeded to say that he needed time and that he thinks it's getting a little too serious. He asked me where I saw the relationship in a few months and I said hopefully still dating. I rolled over on my bed crying and he came over and kissed me on the cheek and said "I don't want you to hate me." There was a long silence and then he asked me to hug him and not hate him again and then he left. I texted him the next day and asked him to talk and he replied with only "i need time" and I said OK. Do you think it is a bad idea if I text him again and ask "What does I need time mean?" Thanks for your help!

He told you what it means. It means that he needs to think about the relationship and where it is going.

I have a feeling that he saw less of his friend being rude and more of you being insecure.

If you keep trying to get in touch with him and ask him questions that he probably thinks he answered, it will only cause him to get frustrated and think that you are insecure and clingy.

Go out with your friends, do things you enjoy and that you have neglected for the past three months, live your life. Don't sit around waiting for him to contact you. He will when he is ready. Do think about what you really want in a relationship and if this is the right one for you. Think about how you get along with his friends and if you can handle him being friends with other females.

Be ready to communicate with him about your concerns and to listen to his.

Sammy, please finish responding in the My Answer box at the bottom of the thread. The reply box is very limited in the amount of space you have for your response. As you can see, your response got cut off.

Thanks.

Thanks for the advice. I do really get along with most of his friends and I was friends with some of them before we were dating. But this one specific girl is best friends with his ex and she just really likes to be rude to me when he isn't around so I mentioned it only after it had happened it a few times. I really just want to know if you think there is like more than a 50% chance of him getting back with me if I don't contact him or if I'm just getting my hopes up. Also, I may have to see him a sorority/fraternity function tomorrow night; how should I act towards him? Thanks!

He is asking for time (and I assume space too), so you have to step back and do your own thing until and when he'll be ready to discuss things. He may get back in touch, or he may not. You have no control over it, so for now just try to get on with your life.

Starting with tomorrow night, be polite. Let him make the first move. Don't worry about what anyone says or anything you over hear. Some people live to spread rumors that have no basis in reality.

I can't say what will happen in the future. Wish I could. I can tell you that when people need space contacting them makes them feel trapped. Trapped animals of all type strike out at anything and everything.

If you do continue the relationship, you both need to understand that it never be the same again. It doesn't mean that it will be worse. It means that it will be different and it could even be stronger and better. For that to happen, you will need to work hard together to rebuild the trust and closeness.

Take this time to think about what you really want. Being away from him you may find it easier to look at the relationship objectively and see if it is moving too fast for you.

Give him the time he needs by leaving him alone, and just do your thing while he figures out if you are more important than his friends.

It's a big red flag for you to pay attention to, that he doesn't know that already. Plus I also think there are many things going on that you are not aware of, like his exes friend may be working against you behind his back. That's a fact I fear, and if he is so easily fooled, or ignorant of that fact, I question why you would even think that there is hope for peace in this drama.

It might be its YOU who are finding out things you need to know, and protect yourself.