Did anyone have an idea of an impressive words to write and send her or any sweet words that will sound very nice while reading it to make them love me.

My grandmother in-law send me a letter saying they're happy to receive me as part of there family etc, which I know is not true because I was never welcome they hates me but always pretending in front of my husband and family friend. Especially my mother in law she even tell her children never to talk with me and there not talking to me anymore she accused me calling me all such of names laughs whenever I passes by and make mockery of me I had her saying she don't like me that she hates me. I have tried everything in my power to make them love me but no way neither getting worst I can see the hate all over her.

She calls my husband's phone once or twice a week to ask about our family issues and my husband always tells her everything, I have no privacy. I try to tell him not to say everything but he refused and is making us to have an argument and I stopped to cut it short we are both from a different races my husband his 30 and I am 28rys old we have done our traditional marriage and soon to do our church wedding and my husband said the receptions will be in his grand parents house which I don't want. I love my husband but confused I wish my mom is still alive, I am feeling depressed Help! Please your advice and help will be appreciated thanks and GOD bless.

I would ignore her behavior as well as avoid being in her company (if that's ever the case). To her face I would be polite and try to avoid conversations or any kind of interaction at all. If she's two faced like that there's no point in participating in defending any kind of point of view you have as it's a waste of your time... I mean why bother? Is she worth the energy? no.

Your husband on the other hand sounds as if he doesn't have his priorities straight. I mean his loyalty lies with his woman.. if he intends on living with his momma the rest of his life THEN he can chose HER point of view... WOW I hope that gets resolved soon. Maybe a marriage councelor.. I mean all this negative energy in your life is eventually going to break your marriage down if you can't rely on this man. Please don't be depressed.. try and be "proactive" instead so you can change things in your life and work on being happier within yourself and your marriage. Peace. <3

OH YES also as far as that letter is concerned:

Say, "thank you so much for your kind words. i am honoured to be a part of your loving family. i hope we can look forward to a solid and close relationship". HOW'S THAT? I don't know.. hopefully good.. lol ;)

Favoure, I am sorry you have lost your Mother and are so depressed. I know this is the time in a woman's life that she needs the support of her own family and friends. Do you have anyone at all that you can turn to for help and advice? This is definitely not a good way to start a marriage. It sounds as if your grandmother-in-law is a very small minded, conniving, and controlling woman. It also sounds as if her problem with you may have something to do with your race, and not you personally. Who is paying for the reception? If your husband's grandmother is paying for everything and you cannot afford to have a reception on your own, then the only choice you would have is to not have a reception. I don't think that is possible if you have invited guests to your church wedding.

Sometimes, just being the kindest, courteous, and nicest person you can be when you are dealing with people you can't avoid is the best way to handle the situation. Answer questions when asked, be polite and keep your responses short. Give them a big smile. Ask about their health when you see them. Always keep the conversations nice, light, and positive. Excuse yourself if you start feeling uncomfortable. Go to the ladies room, get a drink of water, whatever excuse you can come up with to remove yourself from the conversation. Eventually, the rest of the family will get tired of Grandma saying terrible things about you. People judge other people for themselves when they get to know someone. So, just ignore the old lady's nasty comments.

Regarding writing a letter to her. Find a pretty Thank you card. Tell her:

"Grandma, words cannot express how much I appreciate your letter. Your kind words have touched my heart.

Please know that I cannot begin to thank you enough for hosting our wedding reception at your home. I am looking forward to sharing the celebration of the happiest day of my life with my new family.

Love,
(sign your name)"

If there is anything else you want to add to the letter, then do so. As for your husband, what exactly is he telling Grandma? Is he talking about personal problems the two of you are having? If so, he needs to understand there are boundaries that cannot be crossed. Since you are marrying in a church, is this his church? I would suggest you seek out the priest, reverend, minister, or whoever is officiating the ceremony and speak to them about this. You need someone who can help you figure out the best way to logically lay out some ground rules which you and your husband can agree to live by.

Thanks for the replies.PEACE TO YOU AND GOD BLESS.

Favoure, your reply was cut off.

I suspected that since you were already married and you were going through a church wedding with the reception at Grandma's house, this was something that he and his family wanted. At this point in time, there isn't much you can do about where the reception will be held. It does sound as if your husband and his family are very controlling. I really think it might benefit you to make an appointment with the priest, minister, pastor, or whoever is officiating at the church wedding. You have made the decision to be married in your husband's church so you are embracing his religion to at least some extent. Therefore, you should start interacting with the leader in his church. Use him/her as the outlet you need. A big part of the minister's (whatever the title) job is to help his parishoners work through any marital problems they may be having. Make the appointment ALONE. You need to tell this person your concern and distress over the personal details your husband is sharing with Grandma. That person will be able to give you the support you are looking for. Ask him to make an appointment with you and your husband and to help you tactfully get your husband to understand that personal issues between a husband and wife must stay between them AND, that he needs to put you before his family. One of the aspects of a good and successful marriage is that a couple must work together full as a team, and your husband's church leader knows that.

I would take her letter at face value and not read all this negative stuff into it. She may have written it to make it clear that she is not joining in the family criticism of you. You can ignore the negative way that you have been treated and just focus on what she actually said such as,

"I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your very kind words. It is very important to(your husband's name) and I that we continue a close family tradition as we begin our lives together, and your warm welcome is very well appreciated."

Thank you so much I really appreciate your help, all your replies are very helpful I will do as you say. GOD BLESS.