[my husband is always accusing me of doing something when I am not and I am so tired of it any little thing would set him off no matter what it is one time me and my husband was on bad turns and he came up to the school where I was attending and he accused me of messing around with one of the students and I told him that I didn't do anything he also kept calling the whole time and coming up there to the school it had got so bad that my classmate would answer the phone and tell him that I was busy I mean I love my husband but he is pushing me away with his insecurities, controlling and jealousy.another incident happen is when he broke into my mother house while I was there and he lied about it saying that I let him in which I didn't he also causes so much confusing in my life and my kids I tired so hard to make my marriage work but right now I don't see any hope I have tired so many times I am so tired of arguing with this man. I would like to have my life back because I don't need no more drama in my life with this man there is nothing that will satisifed this man at all..

Leave! Before he starts hitting you or worse! He sounds as though he's ready to explode.

Hi, sexyredd!

Is there the possibility of you or both you and he seeing a counselor? Also, how long has he been acting the way that he has been, please?

Thanks!

Leave... all the signs are there. When he hits you once, it won't stop. You don't need to walk on eggshells in your on home.

If he gets violent, that's what iron skillets are for. Don't kill him, just warp him in the jewels and run.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Leave...all the signs are there. When he hits you once, it won't stop. You don't need to walk on eggshells in your on home.

If he gets violent, thats what iron skillets are for. Don't kill him, just warp him in the jewels and run.

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Love your comment here Kit, lol.

Hang on here a second,the op said nothing about her husband being violent,not one word!

He may be jealous and do things without thinking them through but that does NOT mean he is about to turn feral and hit her,I totally disagree with your posts kitkat and positive parent.

This marriage CAN be saved,and with professional councilling both people can learn coping skills that will help them both.

The lady is at her wits end no doubt, advicing her to leave on the off chance her husband gets violent and without at least trying councilling,is bad advice.

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Originally Posted by redhed35

hang on here a second,the op said nothing about her husband being violent,not one word!

he may be jealous and do things without thinking them through but that does NOT mean he is about to turn feral and hit her,i totally disagree with your posts kitkat and positive parent.

this marriage CAN be saved,and with professional councilling both people can learn coping skills that will help them both.

the lady is at her wits end no doubt, advicing her to leave on the off chance her husband gets violent and without at least trying councilling,is bad advice.

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I see your point redhead. By reading her post I feel his being so jealous controlling it might escalate into violence. I hope they can work on the marriage but I stand behind what I said about the signs of him turning violent. If he hasn't physically abused her the signs are there and he very well could. If he doesn't get help.. it could easily turn into that. Not taking anything away from your advice.. yes they should try counseling.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I see your point redhead. By reading her post I feel his being so jealous controlling it might escalate into violence. I hope they can work on the marriage but I stand behind what I said about the signs of him turning violent. If he hasn't physically abused her the signs are there and he very well could. If he doesn't get help..it could easily turn into that. Not taking anything away from your advice..yes they should try counseling.

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If the op comes back and says yes he is violent well then that's a different matter, AMHD works well because of all the varying opinions and advice,but we can't make assumtions on something so serious or possibly offensive to the op,he may have a few problems but violence may not be one of them.

I understand where your coming from though.

I guess sometimes I see myself in these women. I was married very young to an abusive psycho. To the OP , you can possibly save your marriage with counseling. I apologize if I hurt you in any way.

Hi Redhed35 I didn't say he was violent only that he may turn violent, sorry, if this was misleading, I didn't mean it to be.

I too saw my own violent relationship mirrored in the OPs post.

I also apologise to the OP, and agree that counselling could be very beneficial to you.

Obviously, more information is needed before jumping to conclusions.

Hopefully, a counselor will be able to give unbiased, professional opinions not based upon a bias due to some previous personal experience he or she may have had in their own life.

Thanks!

Not may have Clough... did go through. Don't say may have... I went through abuse from a psycho who nearly killed me. I don't care about your opinion of me.. but never say may have gone through some previous experience. That's putting it mildly... Hell is what I went through.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Not may have Clough...did go through. Don't say may have...I went through abuse from a psycho who nearly killed me. I don't care about your opinion of me..but never say may have. gone through some previous experience. That's putting it mildly...Hell is what I went through.

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I too went through hell, and I am also a DV counsellor.

My ex literally stabbed me and if he had not panicked when he saw the blood spurting to the ceiling I would now be long gone. My children would be mother less.

I wrote "may have" because not everyone has gone through anything or the same things. It wasn't meant to be directed at anyone in particular.

The only thing I'm concerned about right now is the lady who posted. If she and her husband do go for counseling... the marriage may be saved.

I hope she does.

Me too!

Relationship-Help: SignsOfAbuse

Check with the link here to see if you feel your relationship is or has turned abusive.

Leave him and get help for yourself so YOU can be healthy. If he gets help fine, but it will be on his own, and for himself. Why should you suffer this bad behavior while he pays NO consequences for his own actions.

Guys like this will agree to anything to keep control. That's why you leave and take control of your own life, and let him do whatever he wants as long as its not with you.

I completely agree with redhed, but the signs are there, and the OP should be made aware of the possibility of his behavior escalating to violence.

I also agree with talaniman in that you have to take control of your own life; however, it's all up to you whether you want to save the marriage. That will always be MY personal choice, but there comes a point where it just can't be saved.

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Originally Posted by sexyredd

i love my husband but he is pushing me away with his insecurities, controlling and jealousy.

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You shouldn't have to live like this. Your husband clearly doesn't understand that what he is doing is pushing you away and isn't healthy. Counseling is a great idea, but if he refuses (and I get the sense that he would), I recommend talking to his family (perhaps a close sibling, cousin, or uncle... someone he looks up to) to see if they could intervene and talk some sense into him. Otherwise, for the sake of yourself and your children, I think you already know what needs to be done...

I would hate to live my life living with someone like him. You are in control of your own life and it's up to you to make the right decision.