I'm a 28 year old virgin but not because I'm saving myself or anything. I grew up in a household where there weren't any men. I had no brothers I had uncles but I rarely saw them. I was taught to distrust men. In my teen life I had male friends but they were gay so it wasn't to far from my comfort zone. In my late teens I met a guy through mutual friends. It took a while to warm up to him but the relationship only lasted 1 month. Years past and I haven't been with anyone since. I've like other guys but I get so shy that my actions seem very juvenile. I'm afraid I don't know how to even carry on an adult relationship with a man let alone tell that person I'm a virgin. Friends have said I should go out dancing or some other social outing but I just don't feel comfortable with that type of outing. I'm not sure what to do or how to break out of this shell. How should I get started with this whole dating scene.

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Originally Posted by junkmailartist

I'm a 28 year old virgin but not because i'm saving myself or anything. I grew up in a household where there weren't any men. I had no brothers I had uncles but I rarely saw them. I was taught to distrust men. In my teen life I had male friends but they were gay so it wasn't to far from my comfort zone. In my late teens I met a guy through mutual friends. It took a while to warm up to him but the relationship only lasted 1 month. Years past and I haven't been with anyone since. I've like other guys but I get so shy that my actions seem very juvenile. I'm afraid I don't know how to even carry on an adult relationship with a man let alone tell that person i'm a virgin. friends have said I should go out dancing or some other social outing but I just don't feel comfortable with that type of outing. I'm not sure what to do or how to break out of this shell. How should I get started with this whole dating scene.

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I can’t and won’t give you any advice on dating maybe some girls here will give you advice. I was shocked to see your question heading “28 year old virgin” there’s not many of your kind around these days so be proud of yourself. A lot of girls your age are not married and have a few kids pulling on there coattails. Your rare!!

One thing I'm curious about, "I get so shy that my actions seem very juvenile". What type of actions are you doing?

Try to wait for the right guy and make it something special, don't just meet some guy at a night club and give your virginity to him, not to mention the STD risk.

Confidence. Your virginity doesn't really mean that you would be a different person than a non-virgin. It will only matter to them as much as it matters to you. If you display confidence in yourself than it won't be a problem.

Just find people who are like you. There are probably guys out there waiting to find someone out there. Don't admit you're a virgin on your first date, but do it soon. Don't allow yourself to be treated as a conquest.

Lastly use protection. There is no gimmies when it comes to sex. You're fertile. QED. Use a condom at the very least. At most use more.

Just be yourself, nothing is more sexy.

Try and take up some interests that you will genuinely enjoy that will give you the chance to meet some guys who enjoy those interests too. Some kind of sport - maybe martial arts since they are not split into different sex teams, volunteering, leisure classes - maybe learning a foreign language, whateve grabs you that would appeal to both sexes.

Just try and get yourself into a position where you can relate to guys in a more confident way.

Don't worry about the sex thing, being a virgin at any age is fine. Work on just making yourself more comfortable around men and the chance to have relationships etc will come in good time.

Try not to focus quite so much on the difference between men and women. Think of them all as just people and try and make friends with both. Once you get to know more guys and feel more comfortable around them finding someone special won't seem so daunting.

Don't try too hard. Make it about enjoying being around guys as well as girls and let it come naturally.

So you want to get into the dating loop? That's a great way to have fun, and get to know the new people you meet.

First it's the attitude. Don't go looking for anything but good clean fun with people and friends you enjoy. Don't be shy because everyone you meet is as weird and dorky as you are, but they may have skills to hide it behind smiles, and being outgoing, (No offense to you, but it's the truth) that they have developed to fit in. That's nothing but time, and experience. (a lot of practice hiding the dork in us)

Then its only a matter to opening your mind to exploring different situations, and people, until you settle on one that is comfortable. Sports, or activities that are available near you are best, church activities, charities, or volunteering are a good place to start finding out what's around you, and who. Don't be afraid to do them ALL.

Above all, don't go looking for love, or get carried away by any intense feelings, or impulse that stir your emotions up higher than they have ever been. And never forget no matter what anyone tells you

Talaniman Rule-Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18-80, blind cripple or crazy.
There is plenty of time to chose just one to be exclusive with after a thorough background check (just kidding but only a little)

Dating is for getting to know someone, and enjoying it, so make no commitments to the handsome guy who buys you a drink, and wants you for himself the next day. By the way, being a virgin is your business and there is no need to warn anyone. When you know someone really well, then you can share, but not just with any old person. (there are a lot of untrustworthy dorks out there, that look, and act normal)