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-   -   I am too wet, my boyfriend thinks I am sleeping around, please help... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=484154)

  • Jun 30, 2010, 02:16 AM
    gaman
    I am too wet, my boyfriend thinks I am sleeping around, please help...
    When I have sex with my boyfriend he says he does not feel me, he says I have changed from what I used to be when we hve sex, he even thinks it is because I am sleeping around because I am always too wet, please I do not want to loose him what can I do to reduce the wetness
  • Jun 30, 2010, 02:25 AM
    skyzalimit

    This is outrageous. You're wet because you're turned on! Find something online about the physiology of your wetness and show him so he understands it's nothing to do with sleeping around.

    If he doesn't feel you maybe he's worried his penis is too small and is blaming you to make himself feel better.

    To make him able to feel you, you could try doing Kegel exercises (tighten and let go the muscles down there 20 times 3 times a day); use a condom that has sensation bumps inside it; hold his penis on the outside of you so there is more resistance; or maybe try anal sex (use plenty of lube).

    But most importantly don't let him tell you you are wrong in any way to be getting wet- he should love it, smother himself in it, revel in it. It's just you being natural!
  • Jun 30, 2010, 05:33 AM
    Synnen

    This is your boyfriend's problem.

    And frankly, it sounds like you are both young, and that he's just stupid.

    Take him to your gynecologist with you and get her to explain to him how the female body works.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 05:40 AM
    ZoeMarie

    Has he mentioned how he thinks you have changed?
  • Jun 30, 2010, 06:21 AM
    Cat1864
    gaman, how old are you and your boyfriend? How long have you been together? What kind of birth control/contraceptive are you using? How long has he been 'complaining'? Have you noticed a physical change in yourself or him? Does he seem to be having issues with maintaining an erection or climaxing during other sexual acts?

    I think this may be less about the amount of lubrication you produce and more about the relationship. He seems insecure and probably has caused his own issues but is blaming you. I hope he isn't voicing his 'issues' during intercourse.

    If you can't talk openly and honestly with him about what is going on with your bodies and any concerns (and possible solutions), then you shouldn't be having sex with him.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 06:24 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by gaman View Post
    I do not want to loose him what can i do to reduce the wetness

    Hello g:

    Instead of thinking about how GOOD it feels, think about those New Jersey housewives... That'll dry you up like a prune... But, if it was me, I'd lose HIM before I'd lose GOOD sex.

    excon
  • Jun 30, 2010, 07:19 AM
    LJDK

    I use to think the same thing in the beginning of my relationship. With time this will pass, the over wet issue.

    As for your BF, he needs some real life talking to, by a peer. Someone other than you, who could place things in perspective. A friend who has had more experience with this, or maybe his mother.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 07:23 AM
    Synnen
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LJDK View Post
    I use to think the same thing in the beginning of my relationship. With time this will pass, the over wet issue.

    As for your BF, he needs some real life talking to, by a peer. Someone other than you, who could place things in perspective. A friend who has had more experience with this, or maybe his mother.

    No offense, but there's no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks that I would be talking to my potential mother-in-law about talking to her son about our sex life.

    Um... no.

    He doesn't need a peer--he needs to grow up and realize that the issue is HIM and not HER.

    Perhaps the OP could suggest that he go to counseling for his insecurity issues?
  • Jun 30, 2010, 07:23 AM
    smoothy

    The boyfriend is a jerk.

    Getting really wet means you are really turned on... if he wants to sleep with a dried up prune... point him to the closest retirement home.

    And besides that accusing you of sleeping around for no good reason is a good reason on its own to dump him.

    He's paranoid and doesn't know a good thing when he has it.

    You deserve better.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 07:31 AM
    adam_89

    Wow, How dumb is this guy you are with?
  • Jun 30, 2010, 07:58 AM
    LJDK
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    No offense, but there's no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks that I would be talking to my potential mother-in-law about talking to her son about our sex life.

    Um...no.

    He doesn't need a peer--he needs to grow up and realize that the issue is HIM and not HER.

    Perhaps the OP could suggest that he go to counseling for his insecurity issues?

    Why not?
    I talk with my mother in law about my sex life. I have even asked for some tips. Perhaps its just demographics.
    Also... most of you are doing very little good saying its him its him its him, he must grow up... he is an idiot etc.

    Ever considered he is inexperienced? Yoh, this place has become nothing more than a internetz forum, with the pretence of being a help desk.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 08:24 AM
    Synnen

    Inexperienced to the point that he doesn't understand that wet = aroused and not wet = cheating?

    And then doesn't listen to his girlfriend when she tells him differently?

    That sounds to me like either he's 15 (and this entire thread should be deleted then) and IS talking to his peers, who are giving him WRONG information---or he's got deep seated security issues.

    Seriously--This is like accusing a guy with a hard-on that he's cheating, because his penis is hard and aroused.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 08:34 AM
    Cat1864
    I am hoping she is actually old enough to be on this board. I hope the parents know what these two are up to in the bedroom. I am really afraid she isn't and they don't.

    I don't care how inexperienced he is. Accusing your girlfriend of sleeping around because you 'can't feel her' is not a good thing. It is akin to accusing her of sleeping with the football team because she waved at a cheerleader in the school hallway. It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with his mental state.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 08:49 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LJDK View Post
    Why not?
    I talk with my mother in law about my sex life. I have even asked for some tips. Perhaps its just demographics.
    Also... most of you are doing very little good saying its him its him its him, he must grow up... he is an idiot etc.

    Ever considered he is inexperienced? Yoh, this place has become nothing more than a internetz forum, with the pretence of being a help desk.

    Does your mother-in-law discuss her sex life with you... as in what she likes and dislikes... etc?

    Sorry, but while I believe in communication... and having good relationships with ones in-laws... this is one topic I think really should not be discussed with other relatives much less ones mother-in-law.

    Adult jokes and humour aside... or say some very generalized topics... specifics however are just too creepy to discuss with a girlfriends or wife's mother. And yes... I have known ONE that did in the past (she discussed what we did with her mother who later ribbed me about it jokingly). Thought that was weird then... and 30 years later I still do.

    Inexperience isn't the cause of paranoia or insecurity where one accuses someone else of doing something without any real proof or evidence.
  • Jun 30, 2010, 09:21 AM
    mrshodges

    In my experience accusations grow from a guilty mind. I thing she is young that's the only way I really see for the "changes".
  • Jun 30, 2010, 11:13 PM
    gaman
    Guys Thank you all for your responses aapparently you think this guy is young well let me tell you his 40 and I am 30 he is just a jerk that's it.

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