Ask Me Help Desk - Importance of virginity

Importance of virginity

I would like to know how important is virginity for a man nowadays.
I mean will you refuse to marry someone who has had one or two premarital relationships...

I thank you all beforehand for your replies...

I think this one depends on someone's personality, beliefs and religion. I am sure there are people who want their partner to be their first and visa-versa. I don't know your age or if you are still a virgin but If you are thinking I want to lose it just because Don't. There are many people deciding to wait nowadays because of the high pregnancy and STS rates.

megirl, how old are you? Why are you asking this question?

I am asking your age and reason for asking because, after reading your question about your co-worker, I want to make certain that you aren't thinking about doing something you might regret.

It doesn't matter what 'men', in general, think. It matters what you believe and the rules/laws that you live your life by. You have to be true to yourself and your own Beliefs.

Cat makes a good point. You can't take your virginity back.

megirl, how old are you? Why are you asking this question?

I am asking your age and reason for asking because, after reading your question about your co-worker, I want to make certain that you aren't thinking about doing something you might regret.

I am 24.. I asked this question because I wanted to know how men feel and think.. I know we are all different and that every individual has his personal opinions.. thank you for your kind concern.. I won't do anything I might regret..

;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by megirl

I am 24..i asked this question because i wanted to know how men feel and think..i know we are all different and that every individual has his personal opinions..thank you for your kind concern..i won't do anything i might regret..;)

I can understand your wanting to know what men think. You might want to do a search of the Adult Sexuality and Relationships boards for 'getting over my girlfriend's past' (or variations of that phrase), as well as, read the responses you will get in this thread.

Good luck. :)

As a man, I do have the penis to prove it, I will say that it is not important to me whatsoever. In fact I would rather marry a non-virgin.

I am also a proponent of SAFE sex before marriage. Dating and living with a person should prove that you're compatible in most if not all ways.

I like the woman to have some experience. That is my take on it. I also don't ascribe to any religion where remaining 'pure' is a requirement for marriage or a successful relationship.

That being said, don't jump out and sleep with anyone and everyone. If you care for the person, go for it. If you are wanting to have sex just for the sake of having sex. Don't do it. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. As well, it is something I Would tell the people you're dating but if it feels like you're just a conquest... run away. You don't need to date the cherry pickers.

There is so much advice. The best thing I can tell you is condom. Use it.

It may not be important to a man, but it is important to you. Think before you are intimate with a guy.

It may be old fashioned by today's standards, but remaining a virgin till you are married isn't such a terrible thing.

As a man... it never mattered that much to me. But there are limits. When the numbers of partners gets high for the age of the person. I find that reason for concern. I don't want to know if any suprises are going to crop up 5 or more years down the road... (you know... like AIDS), bumping into people daily that she slept with... (another problem).

Now I do have to qualify this with saying that a woman who maintained her virginity, has high personal standards... high self control, and doesn't let others influence her unduely. Those are admirable traits to have, compared to someone who will jump into bed with any man she meets, sometimes having known them for less than an hour.

The down side is you are taking a terrific gamble that your libidos and tastes will match later. Someone you have slept with you will know better in that aspect.

But the key thing is... be true to yourself. Every person is unique. And that's a good thing. While some people will frown upon it... others will hold it in high regard. And like was mentioned... once its gone... its gone forever. You are only a virgin once... and it's a road you can't go back to once you have left it behind.

Personally I have dated a few women that turned out to be so horribly bad in bed... (as in they would NOT even think about some things... would NOT even try others... or even want to discuss anything outside of one position or one act) that it did color how I viewed things forever since. No I have been married a lot of years now to a woman who is as adventureous as I am... no she didn't sleep around at all before I met her, but I saw that in her personality and I wasn't disappointed when we married. She was open and willing to learn and explore... yeah it took time.. but it was worth it. And while we have had our differences over the years... and what relationship doesn't, THIS is not an issue we have ever had.

Conversely, I do have a female friend I have known for many years... and while we are very close friends... and share many secrets with each other... no way could I ever see myself with her for life because of how many people she has slept with in her life... and its been many even IF I never met my wife. Hard to simplify for posting... but while I very highly value her friendship... aspects of her life choices rule her out as wife material IF I was on the market. Sort of a eternal good vs. evil battle in one woman's body. Certain aspects of her personality are highly compelling just as at the same time others are very offputting. Now if it was humanly possible to combine her best attributes as well as my wife's... then the resulting frankenstein would be my idea of the perfect woman.

Just wanting to show that there is probibly as many answers to this question as there are people.

Hope you think about this a lot.

..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mina11

I'm sorry for showing up again in these conversations, but I'm having a hard time with this and my therapy.

Why being a virgin is a good thing? I really don’t get it, in particular at my age (28 years) Does it make me better? I really don’t think so, especially after reading and hearing other people talking about they prefer experienced girls to women like me. In conversations with friends, co-workers and whoever (and nobody of them know my situation, by the way) it’s always the same; everybody says they prefer experienced girls. They don’t know it, but deep inside it hurts so bad, it’s like a terrible delusion.

Why this could be good for me? I feel embarrassed, stupid, like a baby who will need a looooooot of time to be taught in order to fulfill somebody expectations.

I really regret not losing it some year ago when I have the chance, with my virgin boyfriend, the only one who has ever truly loved me. I DO REGRET IT.

I’m sorry for speaking my mind this way. It’s just that, in some way talking freely here where nobody knows me, gives me some kind of small relief. I feel almost on the edge of doing something stupid, I think I’m going insane, and many of you will agree, now that I’m feeling this way again, after showing some kind of calm, progress and happiness, weeks ago in another girl’s similar topic. I just want to know why would somebody consider this a quality (if there is somebody and it’s not a religious fanatic). Why being like me it’s a good thing? Would somebody ever think “baby, it makes you more valuable”? is there anybody who could prefer a girl like me? Why this at my age it’s a good thing?

Why?

Because it shows you have a very good head on your shoulders. It shows you have a lot of class. It also shows you like yourself. Anyone can lose their virginity, but it shows good thinking on your part. Don't be ashamed and when the right one comes along you'll be happy you waited.

..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mina11

Ok, it shows these things, and...? Why men prefere a experienced girls anyway?
How long I have to wait? to be 40, 50, to be menopausal? What if finding out Mr. Right NEVER happens? I rather killing my self than getting old and virgin.

Mina... Please start your own thread and post this question. You'll get advice that pertains only to you. Thanks:)

You're rather hijacking the OP's thread here.

Your answer to her is that you don't see the point in waiting--for YOU. Now let's leave this thread about HER.

Sorry I won't bother you any more

You're not a bother to me... but you do have your own thread about you.

This thread is about megirl--I just don't want people losing sight of that.

Thanks a millions times for your precious answers.. thanks a lot

I used to find virgins to be far sexier when they stay that way. Makes the chase worthwhile... Of course at my age now, chasing virgins would land me in jail. Lol (legal ones are far and few between)
No, I would never refuse to marry because a woman found experience. It's more of a requirement these days.