Ask Me Help Desk - Forever in love

Hello!13 years ago I met my true love - a man I cannot forget. I haven't seen him for a long time- 13 years but cannot forget him and still in love with him.We were angry at each other once then and I left my country, thinking I will forget him, but I was mistaken- I cannot.Now 13 years passed by.. I understand that I will dye loving him and only him. I cannot think and be happy with any other man as he gave me a lot- the things that thought me a lot, lessons in life and I cannot compare him with anyone else.It's like comparing incomparable things: I felt good, secure with him. I could share all my most secret things with him and be 100% confident and happy doing that because felt understood and supported.. He was everything to me-a dad, a lover, a friend, a brother.. I needed to start a sentence and he would finish it.He got very angry at me at one point, there was one issue, he is very sensitive as a person..
I tried to call him but he does not pick up the phone.I have been calling him for about 6years now. I just was wandering how does he know that it's me calling. Anyway my question is : what shall I do? I just want him in my life. I will never be happy with anyone else the way I was happy with him.. :(

Please get professional help. Seriously, he has moved on obviously. And before he perhaps get a restraining order stop calling.

You "remember" being happy, memories are funny things, they often forget the hurt and pain that caused us to part. Next over 13 years both you and he have changed and could never go back to "like it was" even if he wanted to also.

I have two past wives that passed away, I still "love" their memory but will not stop that memory from allowing me to move on with my life and finding even better loves in the future.

13 years is a very long time to put your life in nowhere land.

To think that he feels the same as you, and for you to feel you love him after so many years of no contact, really seems to point out the obvious. You need help to move past this in order to live your life.

I don't know when you started phoning him, and I suspect that you've tried other avenues to get in touch with him as well. He isn't answering your phone call because he likely finds it creepy that you are trying to contact him- he does not wish to have that contact.

It is easy to do a reverse lookup to see who the number belongs to.

While he has moved on, likely married, had children, a good life, you are still stuck on him. I don't know what kind of state you are in to think that you are 'forever in love' with him, as your question states.

Please seek help to address this issue before it gets out of hand and you do something you will regret. Stalking and excessive behaviour of any type- such as phone calls, will have the police at your door. I hope you are not heading in that direction.

Then why does not he tell me that? If the police did not turned up yet and he himself did not changed the phones, but just refuses to talk it can mean he is very angry with me.. Who could tolerate phone calls for such a long time and would not tell 'get lost,- everything finished!'. I mean he is a physician and works in medical center . But his behavior is like child's-sometimes he picks up and silently listens, then puts down the phone down, sometimes he'd say hello and again puts the phone down. -variations of it was in the past. ( is it so difficult to talk to a woman who just wants to clear the situation up? Even when she begs him to say 'no, I don't want anything anymore , I am married', or else, -simply to show that he is not interested? ))... Before I started calling him,6 years ago ( these years for me passed like a week) he told me that he could talk to me if I simply just give him a call ( my first call was regarding one unfinished business we were doing together and I called him to talk about that, he did not want to talk about it but suggested I simply called to talk about anything else.. ).When I refused to call him simply for the purpose of simply chatting, he started not picking up the phone.I wanted to move on in my life and texted him saying that, ' so please tell me if you don't want me to call you, meaning that you really don't want me to, give me slightest sign.(I would understand the slightest signal and he knew that as the same way he understood me.. ) Set me free! Just if you pick up the phone and say 'no",- that would do'. But he never did that.He is a brave guy,-no person can tell him bad things.He is strong and straightforward if he does not like anything. But I could tell him anything he would'd keep silent, I used to text him anything he wouldn't say anything..
There was a time when he said: never let the love go, don't do that never. If you have it, keep it, as it's given once in a lifetime.I'm like your father, don't forget about me'. And I am not forgetting, I am happy
Regarding the children, he was married ( he is divorced many ears by now unless he is married again)and have a son 26 y.o, he himself is 51+.He divorced his wife when his son was only 6-7 y.o.. I am much much younger that him... He is getting old, he is fat big boy not very handsome anymore, but I still feell that simple talk would ruin nothing..
My guy friend says that he is angry that's why he is simply does not picking up the phone.
Another friend suggested me to go back and talk to him in person as she said 'you two have unfinished personal matters to solve out.. '

Unfinished personal matters? I cannot imagine what they would be, that they would be so important to you, and mean nothing to him.

He is clearly not interested in even saying 'no' to you, although he has said it every single time that he has not answered your calls. You have had a thing for him for 13 years, calling him for the last six at least, and I don't believe him picking up the phone and simply saying 'no' will stop you.

I don't know what you are looking for as far as help, or an answer to what you are doing with this man. My advice remains the same, this is an unhealthy fixation you have with this man, and after all these years, you need professional help to learn how to let go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake2008

Unfinished personal matters? I cannot imagine what they would be, that they would be so important to you, and mean nothing to him.

He is clearly not interested in even saying 'no' to you, although he has said it every single time that he has not answered your calls. You have had a thing for him for 13 years, calling him for the last six at least, and I don't believe him picking up the phone and simply saying 'no' will stop you.

I don't know what you are looking for as far as help, or an answer to what you are doing with this man. My advice remains the same, this is an unhealthy fixation you have with this man, and after all these years, you need professional help to learn how to let go.

Unfinished personal matters in my case means that he got angry at me at one point for doing something he did not like. I got angry at him for not talking to me and left the country. My friend says that I should have gone to him to talk . Clear the situation, so he would understand why I behaved like I did. What happened is that we did not talk- I simply left the country being angry at him for being angry at me.

No wonder your dating life is so trippy. You have been holding on to the past so long and so hard that you cannot be a very healthy partner for any one. Or your past failure keep triggering those old feelings of happier times and you can't help wonder.

You really do need to establish your own happiness within yourself.