There is a coworker I like since last year.we work in different departments.I at first didn't want to let him know about my feelings because I was shy and scared. We used to talk and smile (even laugh) whenever he came to my office.

I decided to be courageous and to let him know about my feelings.I therefore asked a colleague I work with to ask him if he is interested.he said he doesn't know what to do as he is confused.My colleague asked him twice and the answer was the same.he said he has someone in his life but is not too sure about that person either.

He recently resumed work after a long holiday and he has been avoiding me :( he didn't come to the office at all.I saw him on Wednesday and as soon as he saw me, he quickly walked away. I was thinking of asking him about his final decision one last time but I no more want to do so as I feel so hurt... can someone plzz tell me what would you have done in my place? Should I keep waiting for an answer or no...

I would definitely have to say to let the matter drop. This person would rather not pursue a friendship with you. Why did you ask someone else to approach him? He may be a little creeped out by your attention and doesn't want it.

Tick

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by megirl

there is a coworker i like since last year.we work in different departments.I at first didn't want to let him know about my feelings because i was shy and scared. We used to talk and smile (even laugh) whenever he came to my office.

I decided to be courageous and to let him know about my feelings.I therefore asked a colleague I work with to ask him if he is interested.he said he doesn't know what to do as he is confused.My colleague asked him twice and the answer was the same.he said he has someone in his life but is not too sure about that person either.

he recently resumed work after a long holiday and he has been avoiding me :( he didn't come to the office at all.i saw him on wednesday and as soon as he saw me, he quickly walked away. I was thinking of asking him about his final decision one last time but i no more want to do so as i feel soo hurt....can someone plzz tell me what would you have done in my place? Should I keep waiting for an answer or no...

---

Are you always so shy around men? It's not very "courageous" if someone else did the asking is it?

Maybe this guy really does have someone else, and doesn't want to lead you on.

Or...

Good luck to you.

Yes, if you had not said "work" I would have guessed JR HIGH, asking someone to ask someone, that is not normal "adult" relationships, Normally a person merely talks to the other, asks them for coffee or a lunch and see what happens.

But yes, they don't want to hurt or address the issue and are avoiding it. And "asking twice" if the answer was not yes at first, it should have droped

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

yes, if you had not said "work" I would have guessed JR HIGH, asking someone to ask someone, that is not normal "adult" relationships,

---

Yes, maturity level did occur to me too.

Tick

He's not interested,stop asking him,it sounds very like he does not want your attention.

If the tables were turned,would you be a little concerned if a male co worker had his buddy keep asking you out and make a decision.

Its odd behaviour from a grown women.

Relationships in work can be very tricky,look outside work and don't use a third party.

Thank you all so much for your replies.. wish I came here before trying anything at work..

Thanks so much for your help :) really appreciate it

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by megirl

thank you all soo much for your replies..wish i came here before trying anything at work..

---

You can turn it around at work,be always professional,keep your personnal life personnal!

Be very very careful before considering an office romance,flirtation,kiss,text,internal email,etc.

Work is work,its how you pay your bills and keep a roof over your head,don't put your work reputation at risk for a crush.

There's some new about that coworker I like.. he accepted to give his num and we started texting each other.. I said that I simply want to be friends... when he came to the office this Monday, he firstly looked at me and smiled.. he was really happy and was laughing and talking a lot (something he didn't do for a really really long time).

I am nevertheless the one who always make the 1st step.. I text him 1st and he replies to all my questions.. he has always replied whenever I texted him till now.I am 100%sure he knows I like him.. I don't know what to think.. do you think he likes me back or is he just being friendly and kind? I am quite lost because my feelings for him are becoming stronger and I feel scared..

I forgot to add that I proposed him in march and his answer was he doesn't know what to do.. he since then avoided me... can I now hope that something will happen?

Maybe with the recent texting he has gotten a bit "smitten" with you. That could explain all the happiness and smiling. No matter who its from sometimes that positive attention can make a lot of people giddy.

If your not sure why not just try telling him how you feel or just mention a date sometime.

Ask him on a date and see what he says.

However, I caution that office romance can get very complicated. If things don't work out, then the dynamics of your relationship can get very awkward.

But prepared for the possible consequences before you take the next step.

I realize this is an older post but next time you find yourself interested in a coworker or friend, tell them through actions, not words. Every time I hear about or read a story where one person professes their love it always turns out the person sharing their feelings is let down or hurt. I'm no relationship expert but I believe if something is meant to be it will be. That's not to say you can't accelerate the relationship with a little flirting, socializing and smiling. Guys love that and if he's not interested he won't reciprocate. Then you have your answer without putting your heart on the table and the person avoiding you. Seriously, there's nothing worse when it's obvious that someone is avoiding you, even if you don't like him or her. Some here may have a different school of thought but telling a person flat out that you like him puts so much pressure on the object of your affection and will probably backfire.