Me and my ex husband have been divorced now for about 8 months. We live in Alabama. I have sole physical and sole legal custody of our two boys. He has visitation rights every other weekend. He has not had a driver's license for two years now for two DUI cases and also just got arrested for speeding with a suspended license. He also has been unemployed for over two years and he has never paid one child support payment nor will he ever more than likely. We also went to court because he violated a no contact and restraining order I had against him. He broke into my boyfriend's car and will be convicted of 2nd degree felony theft in one month when the court case is. He already admitted to police that he committed the crime. So he has no job, no car, no driver's license, no residency, and a long criminal background. What are the chances if I took him to court to terminate his parental rights that it would happen? Thanks for the advice...

Slim, you can most likely get ( if you don't already) supervised visits only. ** assume you have that with a order of protection in place.

No job ** does not effect
No car** does not effect,
No drivers license ** does not effect
No home ** really does not effect, may just stop him from taking chidren, and having to be supervised at a specific location

Long criminal background *** lets talk "turkey" he had it when you were with him, if it is that long, did he even have one when the baby was conceived ?

What is the criminal history, was there violence, or merely theft or property damage.

Is there something in his crimes that will prove he is a danger to the child, has he threatened the child, suggested he would harm the child.

I see a bad choice of a man to have a child with, I see a bad role model in a child's life because of that choice. I see little reason for the court to take away his rights.

It looks like you have done some research and learned that getting a TPR is very difficult. Like Chuck I see nothing here that would prompt a court to issue a TPR. You would probably get him restricted to supervised visitation or even no visitation until he can prove he's got his act together.

Let me preface this by stating that I have sole legal and physical custody of my 2 children. My ex-husband signed that over uncontested. He gets them every other weekend. My ex-husband and I have had a rough time getting along after the divorce a year ago but I have never stopped him from his visitation rights from the court ordered divorce agreement. Lately though it has been extremely tough trying to allow him to see the children. He was living with his parents but they got divorced and their house got foreclosed on. He has a suspended license from mulitple DUI's, no car, no job, and no residency any more. I try to let him see the kids but he just takes them to a different person's house every time he has them. Me and my new husband do not want them staying with a different person every time that he has them. Also we can never get him to bring them back to us because he has no way of doing so. Also, he is about $4000 behind in child support though I haven't let that affect his visitation. I know better. We just feel like he is in a really bad situation especially when it comes to watching the children. He is showing no signs of ever getting back on the right foot and it has been months now. I know all about supervised visitation but I am wondering if there is any way that his visitation rights can be modified or stopped for his conditions he is living in. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks!

I think this should probably be moved to the legal board.

But, as it is now under 'Divorce', here's my take on it.

With his history, particularly what you can prove- the DUI, etc. and no known address, I would ask for the visitation agreement to be modified in court, temporarily.

I am wondering where he is staying himself, and why he has to have the kids at other people's places when he has them. That must be confusing for the kids, and I don't blame you for being concerned with them staying with strangers.

At the very least, it might be a good idea to see your own lawyer, and get the proper advice you need to proceed.

If they were my children, I'd be putting their needs first above all else, and although you are generous with visitation, especially under the circumstances, this just doesn't sound safe or secure enough for the kids.

Moved to family law

I also renamed it, he is not the "ex father" he is your ex husband, but he is still the father, and will remain so.

You would have to try to file a motion to modify his visits, but you will need to show that his current living arrangements would be a danger to the children. There are no requirements he tells you what he is doing or where he is going with the children during his time.

Also if the role was reversed, would you wish to give up custody merely because temp you have no steady home? People in shelters keep custody of their kids.

You can try, but it may end up to the beliefs of the judge on social issues more than a set legal ruling.

If you read any of my previous questions you will see that I have somewhat of a "deadbeat ex-husband." We have two children which I have full sole custody of. I am remarried and provide everything for my children. I have never disallowed visitation knowing the consequences of doing so. Over the last couple of weeks though, my ex(who never has had anything to begin with)has become homeless because his parents house got foreclosed on, he is squatting with friends, jobless and desperate. He also has no car and a revoked and suspended driver's license. I spoke with my attorney who handled the divorce case and he told me that with these conditions I could just not allow visitation to my ex. I would be in contempt but he said that my ex would be in a worse contempt because 1)he cannot provide transportation as stated in the divorce agreement 2) he has not informed us as stated in the agreement of his moving or current residence 3)he has not paid any of his $4000 of child support that he owes up to this date. I do understand that child support and visitation are two separate issues. This is not what I expected to hear thinking I am going to have to go back to court to get a modification done. Basically, my attorney said not to allow visitation until I feel comfortable doing so. This seems a bit risky but if that is what my attorney said then I trust him in his advice. I am not too worried because it isn't like my ex can just up and get an attorney to represent him in the state he is in. Can anyone tell me if this is something I should consider? Thanks and look forward to hearing what you have to say.

For the record I would never second guess an Attorney who has viewed all of the legal papers and Orders, is familiar with law in your State, knows the parties personally.

If you deny visitation I would expect - if he has an interest and the means - that your "ex" will take you to Court to get visitation either enforced or revised. If you deny visitation, of course, you can be held in contempt of Court.

If you feel this strongly, I would go back to Court and get the Order modified before your "ex" does.

I would be prepared for the Judge to restrict but not deny visitation. The Court will not want to hear about the support (as you said). He can't notify you of his current address if he doesn't have one.

I'm not sure the Court will be unsympathetic to him if his life is financially out of control.

I am in NY. I don't know where you are and I would not second guess your Attorney. I am merely providing "options."

I've merged the 3 posts into one since they are all related to the same issue.

I agree with Judy, in that your attorney, familiar with the details of the case and the mood of the local courts would be the best person to give advice on your case.

While I personally would not advise someone to violate a court order, your attorney does have a point, in that, your actions are protective of your child and not to spite your ex. In such a case, the courts who are supposed to be considering the best interests of the child should side with you.

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Originally Posted by outdoorpig

If you read any of my previous questions you will see that I have somewhat of a "deadbeat ex-husband." We have two children which I have full sole custody of. I am remarried and provide everything for my children. I have never disallowed visitation knowing the consequences of doing so. Over the last couple of weeks though, my ex(who never has had anything to begin with)has become homeless because his parents house got foreclosed on, he is squatting with friends, jobless and desperate. He also has no car and a revoked and suspended driver's license. I spoke with my attorney who handled the divorce case and he told me that with these conditions I could just not allow visitation to my ex. I would be in contempt but he said that my ex would be in a worse contempt due to the fact that 1)he cannot provide transportation as stated in the divorce agreement 2) he has not informed us as stated in the agreement of his moving or current residence 3)he has not paid any of his $4000 of child support that he owes up to this date. I do understand that child support and visitation are two seperate issues. This is not what I expected to hear thinking I am going to have to go back to court to get a modification done. Basically, my attorney said not to allow visitation until I feel comfortable doing so. This seems a bit risky but if that is what my attorney said then I trust him in his advice. I am not too worried because it isn't like my ex can just up and get an attorney to represent him in the state he is in. Can anyone tell me if this is something I should consider? Thanks and look forward to hearing what you have to say.

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Is this the same lawyer that told you that you have sole legal and physical custody?

You should consider the court views that you were trying to keep the kids from their father, and that this was turning them against him.