Hello everyone: this is my first time posting on here... well anyway... me and my g/f have been seeing each other for tha past 8 months and I new the second I saw her that I was going to be with her... I fell in love with this girl... she is my first love, she makes me feel like no other girl out there, cause every other girl has either cheated on me or treated me like and she is the only one that see me for me and treats me with the respect that I deserve... well to get down to it, we have been fighting for tha past month and things have been hell, I thought I was ready for a serious relationship.. but she says I'm not, she thought I was... its like she has been through a hell of a lot in her life and she feels like she is 60 yrs already cause of all the expierences she has had... she is at the point where she has giving up on life... well it started when her BEST FRIEND committed suicide... she hasent been the same since... so she has become very suicidle because of that and I really have to careful of what I say to her... she is the sweetest girl, and she likes to joke around and make jokes... it helps her hide what she feel from her past... and latley it seems like I've been saying the wrong things, (keep in mind that we vowed to be brutaly honest with each other even if meant were going to get hurt) cause nobody likes a liar... I have been saying the wrong things I guess... and the things I say I don't mean to start fights with, it just always ends up that way... and sometimes I'm afraid to speak or say a word to her cause I'm afraid it might start a fight or an argument... and if I lost this girl, I will die (ill make sure of it) she has taken over my life... she is what I eat, breath, she everything to me... basically I just want to know what I can do to to help prevent myself from saying things that might be wrong to say (I need a way to realize wuts right-wrong) its hard for me to tell cause of the honesty that we hacve with each other... its like I forgot how to lie... I don't even know what the LIE means anymore... so if there is anybody out there that can help me... PLZ HELP ME!!
Its like all I can do is help everyone else... but myself.

Hi there, it sounds like you both are on the brink of suicide if something happens to your relationship! I think that you need to tell her how in love with her you are, and that you can't imagine being without her! You need to be fragile with her, as well as yourself. How old are you two? The emotional status is very touchy! Just make sure you don't mention death to her! I hope that things work out for you two. Keep me updated!

Hi thanks for the reply... umm well I'm 20 and my g/f is 18... this is my first serious relationship and I'm trying my best to make things RIGHT between us... she has been saying for tha past 3 weeks that she wants things to be the way they used to be when we first started seeing each other... and I told her I can do wutever I can to make things better... and bring them as close to what we had as possible... see I know I can make things better and back they were before, but now there is going to be a lot of emotional scars and fears and a loss of trust which are always going to be at the back of our minds... mostly hers... but my tendencies to burst out saying certain things without realizing that there going to start a fight is killing me because of the way we are... were VERY OPEN and I'm guessing its not what I say... its how I say it.. and I have sum speech problems... ive gone to speech classes in the past but I guess that I need sum more work...
I just want to be able to talk to her about anything without having to start a fight, even if its something about her that is buggin me.
Well I will keep u informed about our situation.
Thank You
Keep the advice coming please lol

It's very good that you can openly talk to each other about problems you have. You need to try and be strong for your girfriend and help her through the problems that she's having. Although she may shout at you when you fight, she probably still needs you. Although you argue, you probably both know that you will still be there for each other so you just have to stick through it.

Have you spoken to her about getting some professional help? I think this may be a good idea because it will show her that you care and that you want her to feel better. On the otherhand she may be quite offended and unwilling to admit she has a problem. What do you think of this idea?

By you saying you would die if the relationship ended is not a very wise way to explain how you feel about her. Yes, you may love her but suicide really isn't the answer.

Because her friend used suicide as a way out, she's probably thinking about it more because she knows it can be done, try pointing out to her what it would do to everyone that loves her if she were to do such a thing. In the way that she is mourning for her friend, others would mourn for her, and does she really want that? I'm sure the answer would be no. As long as she knows people care about her, she probably won't do anything.

I am basing this on the fact that a friend of mine wanted to commit suicide but I tried to help him through it and he said that he has a consience and he couldn't do it knowing the state he would leave me behind in. It may seem like they don't care sometimes, but they do.

Hello there

I feel your girlfriend has suffered a lot because her best friend died. I know how it is. My sister's best friend died in an accident and she was going crazy as well.

All you need to do is forget about being brutally honest *for the time being*. What you really need to do is spend time with her, take her out, take her to movies, talk to her, comfort her, give her the chance to let her feelings out. She's probably very hurt and shocked by recent happenings. Just be by her side... she loves you but she is emotionally weak right now that's why she starts becoming cranky... try to understand her.

She needs you the most, be there for her

Good luck

*petals*

I think you should joke less and start complimenting her more as she'll feel pleased to hear nice things about her. Those little things make the big things happen and that would resolve your problems. :)