My original court order back in 1996 stated this-- My daughter's mom has custody and the child lives with her, I winded up with supervised visits with 2 people listed on the paper work as my supervised court appointed people. During this time their was an order of protection in place but it was the kind that didn't keep the mom and I apart we could come together as long as we didn't have any issues, that was in place for one year.. now fast forward to the present time.. The order of protection expired 2 years ago and we never went back to court to modify the order.. reason is because I knew my kids mom would not agree to the joint legal that I so wanted. As time went on we started to do things together just the 3 of us here and there and from time to time.. I was also going to her house and staying sometimes 4 or more hours visiting with my daughter, I guess I have always had the power to annoy my kids mom, cause for the last almost 3 years I have tried to reconcile things between us and when one wants it and the other doesn't it can get a little stressful. So now she has decided to move on after being single since her and I parted ways about wow almost 4 years ago come this December and of course I have to admit I didn't handle the news too well. So my main concern was to want to know who this person was, I figured if he's going to be around my child I should at least know who the person is.. well she refused.. and so I decided to try and find out on my own well that didn't work out too great cause I still don't know who it is lol.. Any way I told her right before father's day that we needed to go back to court cause I was tired of the way things were.. having restrictions and not being able to just take my kid and ago, and plus being trapped under my kid's mom all the time also didn't help matters. Well today I got served with a temporary order of protection and now I can't see my kid or her until we go to court on the 30th of this month.. My question here is basic.. can I contest the allegations that she filed in the report.. and does she have to prove the allegations listed in her report.. And I'm filling papers of my own as well.. So the advice roll on please.. oh plus my kids mom has never ever followed any family court orders from the beginning and I can prove it.. should I be grimy or what?

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Originally Posted by hb35706

My original court order back in 1996 stated this-- My daughter's mom has custody and the child lives with her, I winded up with supervised visits with 2 people listed on the paper work as my supervised court appointed people. During this time their was an order of protection in place but it was the kind that didn't keep the mom and i apart we could come together as long as we didn't have any issues, that was in place for one year.. now fast forward to the present time.. The order of protection expired 2 years ago and we never went back to court to modify the order.. reason is because i knew my kids mom would not agree to the joint legal that i so wanted. As time went on we started to do things together just the 3 of us here and there and from time to time.. I was also going to her house and staying sometimes 4 or more hours visiting with my daughter,, I guess i have always had the power to annoy my kids mom, cause for the last almost 3 years i have tried to reconcile things between us and when one wants it and the other doesn't it can get a little stressful. So now she has decided to move on after being single since her and i parted ways about wow almost 4 years ago come this December and of course i have to admit i didn't handle the news too well. So my main concern was to want to know who this person was, i figured if he's going to be around my child i should at least know who the person is.. well she refused.. and so i decided to try and find out on my own well that didn't work out too great cause i still don't know who it is lol.. Any way i told her right before father's day that we needed to go back to court cause i was tired of the way things were.. having restrictions and not being able to just take my kid and ago,, and plus being trapped under my kid's mom all the time also didn't help matters. Well today i got served with a temporary order of protection and now i can't see my kid or her until we go to court on the 30th of this month.. My question here is basic.. can i contest the allegations that she filed in the report.. and does she have to prove the allegations listed in her report.. And im filling papers of my own as well.. So the advice roll on please.. oh plus my kids mom has never ever followed any family court orders from the beginning and i can prove it.. should i be grimy or what?

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Something happened that caused you to be placed on supervised visitation - you were either a threat to your ex, your daughter or both.

What does the order of protection state? Who is the order for - your ex, your daughter or both of them? If the order is only for your ex, then she has no right to keep you from your daughter - you just can't be the one to come around her house.

I would not advise being "grimy" because you don't seem to have the upperhand in this situation. If you feel that the order of protection is out-of-line, then show up in court and contest it. I just saw one get thrown out the other day; two women were arguing, one filed a restraining order, they went to court and both argued their side, and it ended up being dismissed.

The original court order was because her and I got in to a huge fight and she went and filed a incident report on me, which opened the door to c.p.s getting involved. That led to them taking control of her and talked to her in to filing the original temp order of protection.. at the time of all this I just wanted it all removed from family court, so I gave her mom custody and the temp order stayed in place for one year now that was two years ago currently.. The sad part is the order was never followed her mom and I would take the baby all over the place because she didn't realize she was violating the order cause the court appointed folks weren't with us.. So basically all this time has passed and I told her we needed to go back to court to modify things but she has always refused.. So her main concern was to keep me out of her personal life but at the same time keep me locked under her when it came to our child.. So after my father's day visit she turned around and filed a petition through family court alleging harassment which produced this new temp order.. So I can't see or talk to my child until we hit the court on the 30th at which time I plan on contesting it.

Now you're really starting to confuse me.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

The original court order was because her and i got in to a huge fight and she went and filed a incident report on me, which opened the door to c.p.s getting involved.

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CPS only gets involved if there is a threat to a child. You getting into a fight with her wouldn't have lead to CPS getting involved. Something else happened.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

That led to them taking control of her and talked to her in to filing the original temp order of protection.. at the time of all this i just wanted it all removed from family court, so i gave her mom custody and the temp order stayed in place for one year now that was two years ago currently..

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... what? You said in your first post that the original court order was from 1996, now you say it's two years old. Which one is it?

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Originally Posted by hb35706

The sad part is the order was never followed her mom and i would take the baby all over the place because she didn't realize she was violating the order cause the court appointed folks weren't with us..

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Actually, that would mean that YOU were violating the court order - not her.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

So basically all this time has passed and i told her we needed to go back to court to modify things but she has always refused.. So her main concern was to keep me out of her personal life but at the same time keep me locked under her when it came to our child..

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She is not keeping you "locked under her." You are obsessed with this woman and I am seriously starting to think that you need therapy to deal with this issue.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

So after my father's day visit she turned around and filed a petition through family court alleging harassment which produced this new temp order.. So i can't see or talk to my child until we hit the court on the 30th at which time i plan on contesting it.

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And what allegations has she made? Have you been calling her, texting her, e-mailing her, showing up at her home - what? Does she have proof that you did it? Do you have proof that you didn't?

I would text her everyday around the same time asking if I could come out.. well most of the time she would say yeah but I'll hit you back when I'm free.. So usually without fail I would go out there and spend anywhere from 4 to more hours with my daughter.. The area of issue would always occur during times when she would tell me she was busy and I couldn't come out so I would text her here and there through out the day just to ask her how the baby was doing, and what she was doing.. I would never ask what she personally was doing well she would feel she didn't have to hit me back and this over time would get annoying.. basically she wants me out of her personal life, and so she went this far to make it happen.

As far as proof is concerned I can prove the order wasn't being followed through vids, and pics etc.. Some of it I figure would be her word against mine.. She claims harassment and stalking basically but I never did these things.

I would only make contact in reference to the child.. my wording of her locking me under her is based on the fact all I have ever requested from her was for us to modify the order so this way she could go on and seek the like that she felt she wanted, and me just be able to take the child and go so I wasn't so close to things.. I have expressed myself to her many of times explaining the difficulties and impact this all was having on me over the course of time, but all attempts to create a comfortable situation all failed and now it's lead right to her feeling she had to do this.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

I would text her everyday around the same time asking if i could come out.. well most of the time she would say yeah but I'll hit you back when im free.. So usually without fail i would go out there and spend anywhere from 4 to more hours with my daughter.. The area of issue would always occur during times when she would tell me she was busy and i couldn't come out so i would text her here and there through out the day just to ask her how the baby was doing, and what she was doing.. i would never ask what she personally was doing well she would feel she didn't have to hit me back and this over time would get annoying.. basically she wants me out of her personal life,, and so she went this far to make it happen.

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You don't seem to understand something. You share a child with this woman and that is the extent of your relationship. You do not have the right to know what happens in her personal life, unless her actions and lifestyle pose a threat to your daughter. Until that happens, you need to keep your nose out of it.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

As far as proof is concerned i can prove the order wasn't being followed through vids, and pics ect.. some of it i figure would be her word against mine.. She claims harassment and stalking basically but i never did these things

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Whooooa - "basically" you never did these things? It's either yes, you did them or no, you didn't. When you start getting into what "basically" happened, you're muddying the waters.

And whoopty-doo if the previous order wasn't being followed. You may have said or done something that is grounds to have the order reinforced.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

I would only make contact in reference to the child.. my wording of her locking me under her is based on the fact all i have ever requested from her was for us to modify the order so this way she could go on and seek the like that she felt she wanted, and me just be able to take the child and go so i wasn't so close to things.. i have expressed myself to her many of times explaining the difficulties and impact this all was having on me over the course of time, but all attempts to create a comfortable situation all failed and now it's lead right to her feeling she had to do this.

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Then that's all you need to do. If she is busy, then you need to respect that. If someone was texting me "throughout the day" to see how a baby was doing, I'd get tired of it as well and ignore them just as she is ignoring you.

She is not required to modify the order just because of your feelings. She's acting in what she feels is in your daughter's best interest.

And since you didn't address it, I'd like to know what happened that caused CPS to get involved. As I said earlier, a domestic dispute would not have triggered an investigation unless that dispute endangered the child. I don't think you're giving us all the facts.

After the big fight that we had argument which took place away from the house and the child.. She decided not to come home.. and so I went home ahead of her.. cause the baby was their and I needed to take over so the person watching her could go, Any how when she got to the house her attentions was to take the child and leave.. and I told her I would bring the child to her when she woke up.. At that time there was no order of any kind in place the child was like 3 months old.. So she left and headed down to our local police station to file an incident report on me which at the time I had no idea.. so soon later they showed up and assessed the situation.. I explained to them that yes we got in to a fight of sorts and that I would bring the baby to her when she woke.. they said well we can't make you give her the baby cause we don't see any issues at this time.. well their mandated reporters so they passed the info on.. they got involved and took over from there.. before I knew it the temp order was put in place.. and we were in and out of court from that point on.

My entire concentration has been on my daughter.. the main issue is adapting to the part time father syndrome.. not being with my child as much as I would like to be has been stressful, I would have to agree that perhaps I have smothered her over time always wanting to see the child and even though I couldn't see her everyday I at least tried.. My daughter is 3 going on 4 now she doesn't understand at this point, all she knows is she loves her mom and her dad.. we have a great bond.. her mom and I don't see eye to eye on most things and that is understandable. I'm not going to sound like I am an angel cause I'm not I have annoyed her over the course of all of this perhaps mainly cause the entire situation has been so uncomfortable for me.. Not being able to go any where with her.. every time I go out to the house all I could do is sit on the porch and just stay trapped in a sense.. with little or nothing to do at times.. We would go places and do things and it would be nice and than it would get pulled away from me, would always depend on her mom's mood.

I have been in my daughter's life from birth and I need to remain in her life.. it's not like I would just walk away and not fight for her.. I have never been away from her for any length of time and now with this order I can't break it all I can do is show up in court and fight it the best that I can, As I said above I'm no angel however how can I make everything about my daughter when my kids mom just makes it all about her.. I thought our child should be put first before our own needs. My daughters mom usually always puts everything on me when it comes to her attitude issues with me, This order basically removed me from my daughter at least at the moment, and my daughter I'm sure is wondering what is going on cause every night without fail her mom would call me so she can say goodnight and now in light of all of this she can't so how does this affect my kid.

OK, first if the order of protection was against you, then YOU violated it by contacting her, it matters little whether she allowed it or not. So I would not try to show that she hasn't followed it.

On the other hand, she does have to show that you have committed the problems that were listed in the request for the new order.

I would not try for joint physical custody, but I would go for increased visitation and unsupervised visitation.

I need to know this if I write a letter in my defense explaining my side and have it notarized will the judge read it and take it in to consideration?

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Originally Posted by hb35706

I need to know this if i write a letter in my defense explaining my side and have it notarized will the judge read it and take it in to consideration?

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Notarizing it does nothing. Writing a letter making a statement may or may not be taken into account. If its just your side of things, probably not. It needs to be documented.

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Originally Posted by hb35706

After the big fight that we had argument which took place away from the house and the child.. She decided not to come home.. and so i went home ahead of her.. cause the baby was their and i needed to take over so the person watching her could go, Any how when she got to the house her attentions was to take the child and leave.. and i told her i would bring the child to her when she woke up.. At that time there was no order of any kind in place the child was like 3 months old.. So she left and headed down to our local police station to file an incident report on me which at the time i had no idea.. so soon later they showed up and assessed the situation.. I explained to them that yes we got in to a fight of sorts and that i would bring the baby to her when she woke.. they said well we can't make you give her the baby cause we don't see any issues at this time.. well their mandated reporters so they passed the info on.. they got involved and took over from there.. before i knew it the temp order was put in place.. and we were in and out of court from that point on.

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You're not listening to me. An argument between the two of you, especially one that took place away from the child, is not grounds for a CPS investigation. CPS gets involved when the child is being abused or neglected, not when the parents are arguing.

The same goes for supervised visitation. You had to have messed up pretty severely at some point in order for the judge to order supervised visitation - that's not common practice.

And as Scott and I have both said, you violated the order - not her. Your attempt to blame her for this is going to fail miserably and get you into more trouble than you've already gotten into.

I had my first day in court against my daughter's mom and I'm happy to report that she lost..

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Originally Posted by hb35706

I had my first day in court against my daughter's mom and I'm happy to report that she lost..

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She lost what?