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-   -   My cousin proposed me. Please help. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=481484)

  • Jun 21, 2010, 03:09 AM
    sweetgirl18
    My cousin proposed me. Please help.
    My cousin is in love with me. He even proposed me for marriage. I tried to explain him a lot, but he wants me and nobody else in his life. He is ready to handle every problems which will come in our way. I am so, confused that I can't even sort out whether I love him or not. But I am attracted towards him. What should I do.
  • Jun 21, 2010, 04:25 AM
    Sariss

    You say no, and you walk away.
  • Jun 21, 2010, 04:37 AM
    Jake2008
    I presume that you are in a country that allows marriage to your cousin, so I'll answer with that assumption.

    If you are unsure if you are in love, don't take the leap of marriage. Wait until you are sure, without pressure from him. If you need time, take it.

    It is important that he respects your need to be certain of what you want to do. An attraction is not enough to hold a marriage together.

    Get to know him (if you want to), and make a decision based on what you learn, and how you feel about him in time.

    Rushing into something this important, is not a good idea.
  • Jun 21, 2010, 05:12 AM
    talaniman

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...fe-479705.html

    How old are you? Just curious after reading the above post from a few days ago. Is it even acceptable by your family?
  • Jun 21, 2010, 03:28 PM
    amy112

    Just say you have no plans to even think of him besides a family relationship.no offence but dating a cousin sounds really weird.we might even think some thoughts about their hot cousins too but just keep it friendly and maybe even say you already have a boyfriend.
  • Jun 24, 2010, 05:18 AM
    sweetgirl18
    I am 18years old and my cousin is 21.
    And he knows everything about me. I used to share every thing with him because he always helped me in every situation and he is very supportive, and I am from the country where marriage with a cousin will be highly restricted. Even our parents will not accept our relationship. I am confused because he is very nice and he is going to take a stand for us. He is planning for marriage after 5 years when he will be perfectly settled. And I will be completed with my studies. But he wants my opinion about the marriage now. He is not forcing me but he is serious for me.
  • Jun 24, 2010, 05:37 AM
    talaniman

    His intentions are misplaced, as you are family so have a connection already that has a long and deep history.

    REJECT him, and save yourself a lot of trouble in the future that will certainly tear your family apart, and make unnecessary problems for you both.

    Sure you both have strong feelings and are familiar and protective of each other, but these family feelings are not to be acted on in this way.

    There is no confusion, its not allowed and that's the bottom line.
  • Jun 24, 2010, 10:58 AM
    Kitkat22

    You are wrong for even thinking about doing this. Find someone
    Outside the family to date.

    Don't think of yourself only, think of the heartache and trouble for your family. Tell the cousin to find someone else and
    It would be better if it's not a family member.
  • Jun 24, 2010, 11:02 AM
    talaniman

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...in-450229.html

    Is this your cousin??
  • Jun 24, 2010, 05:19 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Are you planning on having children with this cousin of yours? If it is illegal and would tear your family apart is it worth that? Are you in love with your cousin? This is considered incest and in my opinion is very wrong. You need to find someone out side of your family to marry and have a family with.
  • Jun 24, 2010, 06:26 PM
    Homegirl 50

    He wants a commitment from you for 5 years down the road? That does not even sound logical. He is wanting you to commit to something that will tear your families apart. He is thinking with his hormones and not his brain.
    5 years from now he probably will have found someone else and there you'll be hanging. He needs to grow up.
    He knows the deal, so do you. Tell him you cannot/will not commit to such a thing. Tell him to go live his life and you get on with yours.

    You will have troubles enough in life without inviting them in and being with him is opening the door.
  • Jun 24, 2010, 06:32 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    He wants a commitment from you for 5 years down the road? That does not even sound logical. He is wanting you to commit to something that will tear your families apart. He is thinking with his hormones and not his brain.
    5 years from now he probably will have found someone else and there you'll be hanging. He needs to grow up.
    He knows the deal, so do you. Tell him you cannot/will not commit to such a thing. Tell him to go live his life and you get on with yours.

    You will have troubles enough in life without inviting them in and being with him is opening the door.



    Homegirl said it.. he is thinking with something other than his brain. I do hope you haven't consummated this "relationship".
  • Jun 26, 2010, 02:11 AM
    sweetgirl18

    Thank you all for your opinions. I really needed it. Now I have taken a right decision to leave him.
  • Jun 26, 2010, 08:22 AM
    Homegirl 50

    Good for you!
    We wish you well.
  • Jun 26, 2010, 10:30 AM
    Kitkat22

    Good for you... Good Luck.

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