I have been with my girlfriend for 4 1/2 years and she told me she likes this other guy but nothing will happen, then she said she is good friends with him and hangs round his place sometimes. Later I find out she has kissed him I told her I don't want her to see him anymore and she says I'm controlling her she wants to have friends etc. I feel she has done more than kiss this guy but she promises me she hasn't n they just friends but I can't beat the feeling there is something else going on what do I do?

You need to sit down and calmly discuss this with your g/f and if you cannot believe what she tells you then you need to re-evaulate your relationship with her, if you don't feel you can believe her then this will eat away at you like a cancer, you need trust and honesty in a relationship, if you don't have these then you really do not have a relationship.

Ask her to introduce you in a casual calm way. If she balks, don't get mad, get rid of her.

Sound cold, not really, if you can't at least meet her friends then what's the point of being together? If its innocent, what's the problem?

The thing is for you to keep your cool, get facts without being "controlling". I am quite sure if the shoe where on the other foot she would be in a rage. Hmmm! Maybe this is a payback? Not a lot of details about this 4 and a half year relationship, or what's been going on between you lately.

She kissed this other guy who she likes and always hangs out with. Has she ever invited you to hang out with them?

She has broken so much trust in this relationship. It almost seems like she's choosing you over him but keeping you around. Why are you allowing this to happen? I'd tell her chose you or him. But if she does choose you, are you willing to take the time to trust her again, because anytime she makes a new guy friend you will get suspicious.

This does not sound like a 4 year relationship to me this sounds like a 3 month deal and she is finding other people..

But again we need to hear more of the story to get a better idea,

It is hard to be keep your cool with this I know, my advice tell her how she would feel if you did the same thing..

If he reaction is I don't care or that.. then its time to move on..

AS for me.. if a girlfriend of mine kissed another guy it would be over. Done dusted

I think there's more to the story. I have male friends, but I've never kissed them, so her kissing him just doesn't add up.

You need to have a long serious conversation. If she refuses to discuss the issues then it may be time to let her go.

Why not ask to go along to his house? If he's truly only her friend, then there shouldn't be a problem with you hanging out with them. If she refuses to let you go with her, then you know the answer to what's going on.

She could be making you jealous as after 4 and a half years. She may be making a place to go, when she leaves you. A subject to discuss. As that's not a great way of getting someone to commit to more.