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-   -   Mid life (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=479621)

  • Jun 14, 2010, 07:18 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Mid life
    When men go through a mid life crisis what are they thinking?

    I don't want to deal with this anymore?
    I need to find something to make me happy?
    I don't understand what I'm doing with my life?
    I didn't finish what I wanted to do with my life?

    What happens in your minds?:confused:
  • Jun 14, 2010, 07:26 PM
    Jake2008
    I like that question!

    Very curious if you will get answers from the men themselves. My husband does not believe that there even is a mid-life change. I beg to differ... :p
  • Jun 14, 2010, 07:38 PM
    albear

    Where do you draw the middle aged line as I've already started asking myself the first three :D
  • Jun 14, 2010, 07:51 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    where do you draw the middle aged line as ive already started asking myself the first three :D

    I've noticed it seems to start around age 14 and lasts until about 72. Maybe longer.
  • Jun 14, 2010, 07:59 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I've noticed it seems to start around age 14 and lasts until about 72. Maybe longer.

    I agree, it could be anytime. It all depends on the man:)
  • Jun 14, 2010, 07:59 PM
    albear

    That's OK then, well within that age bracket :)
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:00 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    thats ok then, well within that age bracket :)

    I meant the entire time from 14 to 72+. :D
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:01 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    thats ok then, well within that age bracket :)

    So... what are you thinking? You are our first man:)
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:02 PM
    albear

    Oh, well guess I was a late starter then :D
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:03 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    So... what are you thinking? You are our first man:)

    "our first man" -- I LOVE it!!
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:04 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I meant the entire time from 14 to 72+. :D

    Love it:D
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:07 PM
    albear
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    when men go through a mid life crisis what are they thinking?

    I don't want to deal with this anymore?
    I need to find something to make me happy?
    I don't understand what I'm doing with my life?
    I didn't finish what I wanted to do with my life?

    What happens in your minds?:confused:

    1. why bother? seriously nothings going to change, what's the point of going through the same motions for the rest of my life.


    2. what will make me happy? where can I find it, do I even deserve it?


    3.why am I doing what I am doing, I was lead to believe there would be more to life than this, is this it? Why would I want to be a part of this?

    Roughly
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:13 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    1. why bother?, seriously nothings going to change, whats the point of going through the same motions for the rest of my life.


    2. what will make me happy?, where can i find it, do i even deserve it?


    3.why am i doing what i am doing, i was lead to believe there would be more to life than this, is this it? why would i want to be a part of this?

    roughly

    But I thought the mid life thing was...
    You were really happy and everything was great and all of a sudden you were not happy anymore?

    Is it that you were never really happy to start with (but you played along?) and you just decided that it was enough and you needed to get out and be happy?
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:16 PM
    albear

    Personally id go with the second one, the just going along with life one


    But I doubt there's one single reason for everyone to go through a midlife crisis
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:31 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    personally id go with the second one, the just going along with life one


    but i doubt theres one single reason for everyone to go through a midlife crisis

    Good point
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:36 PM
    Just Dahlia

    But why?
    Why would you just go along and have everyone think you were good.. only to find out you were unhappy? Why wouldn't you just make yourself happy along the way? (change things) Is it that you didn't realize you were not happy?

    There has to be an answer:confused:
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:48 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    But why?
    Why would you just go along and have everyone think you were good..only to find out you were unhappy?

    Do guys know they're unhappy? I don't think they do. If they do know, will they admit it? And if they admit it, then they have to do something constructive about it to get happy? That sounds like a lot of work. It's easier to find a younger woman or buy a sports car.
  • Jun 14, 2010, 09:08 PM
    KBC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do guys know they're unhappy? I don't think they do. If they do know, will they admit it? And if they admit it, then they have to do something constructive about it to get happy? That sounds like a lot of work. It's easier to find a younger woman or buy a sports car.

    In some sadistic way,I seem to be agreeing with this statement, somewhat... LOL
  • Jun 14, 2010, 09:33 PM
    Just Dahlia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by KBC View Post
    In some sadistic way,I seem to be agreeing with this statement,,somewhat...LOL

    OK
    Anything else?
    I'm thinking that you are looking for something that is not there? Something that you have dreamed of all your life (like girls dream) but we have a reality. I don't mean that in a negative way:)
  • Jun 14, 2010, 09:34 PM
    KBC
    Quote:

    children leaving home, the "sandwich" of caring for both parents and children.
    This would be mine in a nutshell.

    From the realization of the empty nest,the necessity to be here for my parents care full time,the lack of true freedom,the internalization of all troubles and responses,which held inside became a deeper depression,which in turn had even higher manic fits to compensate for the extreme lows, then ups,, etc.. snowball effect.

    Frustration to the highest levels.Breaking me for a time, I can't say how long,I wasn't always in reality during these episodes.

    Medications,hospital visits,therapy,extreme,um,activities with others,wild relationships,out of control behaviors,burning the candle at both ends,, etc, I think y'all get the picture.

    This was when I was around 30 to ,well,present, but tapered off in the last few years.

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