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-   -   Mother of my baby wants to give it up for adoption (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=478892)

  • Jun 12, 2010, 09:33 AM
    fitzy89
    Mother of my baby wants to give it up for adoption
    My ex got pregnant and originally said I could keep the kid and everything would be fine. Now she is trying to give it up for adoption. I want my kid, is there anything I can do about this? I have saved texts I can print out and use in court saying she doesn't want to raise the kid, one saying I can keep and raise the baby. etc. also, about a month into it she told me that she had just smoked pot... will that stuff help me at all or is it a waste of time?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 09:39 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    She can not give the child up for adoptoin, without your permission as the father.

    You hire an attorney go to court and sue for custody of the child
  • Jun 12, 2010, 09:43 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fitzy89 View Post
    My ex got pregnant and originally said I could keep the kid and everything would be fine. Now she is trying to give it up for adoption. I want my kid, is there anything i can do about this? i have saved texts i can print out and use in court saying she doesnt want to raise the kid, one saying i can keep and raise the baby. ect. also, about a month into it she told me that she had just smoked pot... will that stuff help me at all or is it a waste of time?

    Chances are, she is just blowing smoke (so to speak). If she had consulted with an attorney she would have found that a child normally cannot be adopted without the consent of both parents.

    Is it possible that she will claim she doesn't know who the father is? Are you on the birth certificate? If your state has a Putative father registry, be sure to register.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 10:58 AM
    fitzy89

    I also have a text saying that she is sure I'm the father, and she also asked me to sign the papers for adoption, didn't answer her cause she knows I won't.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 11:22 AM
    AK lawyer

    We answered you. She can't do it.

    Next question: do you want to sue her for custody?
  • Jun 12, 2010, 11:58 AM
    ellen0

    Keep your heart out of it. Your child will do much better in an adoptive home where he is wanted by both parents. Adoptive parents have to go through a lot and have to answer to a lot of people in order to get aproved to be adoptive parents.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 12:48 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ellen0 View Post
    Keep your heart out of it. Your child will do much better in an adoptive home where he is wanted by both parents. Adoptive parents have to go through a lot and have to answer to a lot of people in order to get aproved to be adoptive parents.

    This is a legal forum and the answers need to conform to law not just someone's opinion. You have no proof the child would be better off adopted.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 12:49 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fitzy89 View Post
    My ex got pregnant and originally said I could keep the kid and everything would be fine. Now she is trying to give it up for adoption. I want my kid, is there anything i can do about this? i have saved texts i can print out and use in court saying she doesnt want to raise the kid, one saying i can keep and raise the baby. ect. also, about a month into it she told me that she had just smoked pot... will that stuff help me at all or is it a waste of time?

    Is the child born yet or not? Your statement doesn't make it clear.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 01:56 PM
    fitzy89

    Not born yet, and yes I want custody. We would not be together at all. I want my kid. And she doesn't, I don't even think at this point it would be good for my child to be with her. Not going to say what just happened but it makes me worry about the health of the unborn baby...
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:04 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fitzy89 View Post
    not born yet, and yes i want custody. We would not be together at all. I want my kid. and she doesn't, i dont even think at this point it would be good for my child to be with her. not going to say what just happened but it makes me worry about the health of the unborn baby...

    What state is this happeneing in. She may be able to give the child up without your permission.
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:49 PM
    fitzy89

    She is in virginia and I'm in Georgia
  • Jun 12, 2010, 03:57 PM
    cdad

    There may be a problem. Virginia has a safe haven law.

    Ref:

    Infant Safe Haven Laws

    Virginia Safe Haven Law & Information | National Safe Haven Alliance

    Your only option now may be to file for paternity so as to prevent her from giving the child away before you can do something about it. How long has she been in Virginia and Was she in Georgia before or never ?

    Need to know some kind of timeline.
  • Jun 13, 2010, 08:27 AM
    fitzy89

    She has never been in Georgia, we met in Ohio. Has been back in virginia for a little over a month, got pregnant in Ohio. I was going to wait until she is six months, so about two months from now to take her to court, because that's when they can do the tests to make sure I'm father.
  • Jun 13, 2010, 08:44 AM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fitzy89 View Post
    she has never been in georgia, we met in ohio. has been back in virginia for a little over a month, got pregnant in ohio. I was gonna wait until she is six months, so about two months from now to take her to court, because thats when they can do the tests to make sure im father.

    Lets make this clear. If your waiting until she is 6 months along so you can file in Virginia for parentage that's fine. But no tests should be done before the baby is born. What your doing is setting the groundwork for keeping your child. Since you have communication of her intent to give the child up for adoption. You want to qualify yourself as the parent of the child. But in truth nothing will actually happen until the child is born. You just want to file early to prevent the adoption process.
  • Jun 13, 2010, 03:00 PM
    JudyKayTee

    The fact that she SAYS/KNOWS you're the father is meaningless - when the child is born have DNA testing done.

    The Court will be a lot more cooperative if you stop referring to "your kid" and start referring to "your child."
  • Jun 14, 2010, 12:02 AM
    GV70

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...-344695-2.html
    Virginia- §§ 63.2-1249; 63.2-1250

    A Putative Father Registry is hereby established in the Department of Social Services. A man who desires to be notified of a proceeding for adoption of, or termination of parental rights regarding, a child that he may have fathered shall register with the Putative Father Registry before the birth of the child or within 10 days after the birth.
    Failure to register shall waive all rights of a man who is not an acknowledged, presumed, or adjudicated father to withhold consent to an adoption proceeding unless the man was led to believe through the birth mother’s fraud that the pregnancy was terminated or the mother miscarried when in fact the baby was born, or that the child died when in fact the child is alive.
  • Jun 14, 2010, 12:04 AM
    GV70

    You may register online here
    https://www.dss.virginia.gov/family/...e_registry.cgi

    # Questions or comments may be directed by phone to 1-877-IF DADDY (1-877-433-2339) or by e-mail to [email protected]
    # For assistance establishing paternity call 1-866-398-4841
  • Jun 14, 2010, 12:07 AM
    GV70

    Please DO NOT remove the e-mail address -it IS NOT an advertisement or online solicitation.:mad::mad::mad:
  • Jun 14, 2010, 08:18 PM
    fitzy89

    OK thank you guys, my mother was telling me to wait until 6 months to start this, I really don't want to do the testing before birth because of the risk of problems, just thought if I wanted to do it I would have to get the test done before they would do anything. I say kid sometimes by the way, but when I'm actually talking about this its either my baby or my child... thanks for the correction...
  • Sep 25, 2011, 06:06 PM
    rmullins818
    I'm going through the same thing in King William County, Virginia

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