Hi Hope someone have in common or who can give me advise. I was very close to my son who he is 21 years old and lives on his own now. Just recently his father went to jail for 10 years for misbehaved to a teenager girl who he raped her. His father and I divorced 20 yrs ago. So My son and I were close and Now of sudden he told me that he hates me. I was hurt when I heard this of sudden. I am coming very poor living and did my best for my son. I am deaf and my son is hearing. I know good sign language and my son refused learn to communcaited with me, He is of sudden bring this bad and pointing his finger on me and keeps blaming on me this and that. I just keep quiet and listen to him and told him enough for now. I do know know what to do? Help...

You back away and let him deal with his hurt, shame, and anger on his own. Sorry you did your best, but he has only you as an outlet for what seems to be some very deep seated emotions he takes out on you. I don't know how long it will take him to deal with whatever issues he has, but why should you be frustrated by running head first into a brick wall in the mean time? Don't, just give him whatever time and space he needs.

I know that is a very hard concept to deal with for any parent, but its necessary. Is there someone you trust, and are close too, to console and support you through this? Please seek them out.

So sorry you're going through this, my prayers are with you.

I'm very sorry you're going through this. I don't believe your son really hates you, its like Talaniman
Said, he's working through his anger . He's been hurt very deeply and his anger is at his father.

Know this... you aren't to blame, he'll get through this and you'll find his love for you was overshadowed by his anger toward the man he looked up to.

He'll come around... God Bless You!

Just to add,keep the lines of communication open,you're a safe target for his anger,let him work through this,and he will come around.

I hope you keep posting.. This is a hard time for the both of you. Blessings...

He does not hate you. He has been tossed the worst possible, life altering news that his father raped a teenager, and will be in prison for 10 years.

He has been faced with such a horrible situation, that does not make sense to him, and has left him reeling in pain, anger and confusion, as anyone would be with such news.

It is a shock, and it is a loss. Both of those things have to go through a natural course of action in order to be accepted, and that may take years.

He has essentially lost his father, and likely feels more hate toward him, than what he is expressing to you. Who else but a mother can take and accept the extreme emotions involved here, and still come up loving their child.

There are intricate issues involved here. He is likely questioning his own identity and is suddenly left without a male influence. He will likely question anything and everything his father has told him, because to your son, what he really hid, was himself.

He does not know the man that raped a teenage girl. In his wildest dreams he would never likely have thought him capable of doing what he did.

So in a sense he is starting over, and putting their history under a microscope. It will take time.

If it is at all possible for him to have counselling, that would be very helpful in allowing the anger and all the other emotions involved in such a loss, to be worked through in a healthy way.

In the meanwhile, all you can do is be there for him and talk to him when he's ready. He has lost the person he knew as his father.

You and your child have suffered a devastating blow. You two need to hurt together, cry together whatever it takes to help you get rid of some of the anger and grief.

He doesn't hate you, trust me... I have older kids . Blessing to you!

All you can do for now is take a step back. Your son is dealing with a lot right now with his father. I used to tell my father I hated him. But deep inside I never meant it. Your son is mixed up with his feelings. Just know that he loves you regradless of what happens. Don't give up on him. Things will get better over time.

Did the father in question do anything to your son?? I am wondering why he is so mad at you?? Did you know about this?? Who is the young girl that he raped. It is more then just misbehaving and so glad he is going to prison for a long time. We only can hope.