Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 yrs and had a baby 2 yrs ago... Well his best friend and me went out in high school but nothing serious.Over the years I haven't got over my feelings for his boyfriend . I recently told his boyfriend my feeling and he said he felt the same but kept quite for his relationship with my boyfriend. We meet up and had sex and it was a feeling so diff than to be with my boyfriend not just the sex the conversation the spark. And may I say I love my boyfriend and care about him a lot but things arenot the same after the baby came along.. Well my question is should I fess up and get with his boyfriend or keep quite and stay with my boyfriend and work things out for our daughter?? HELP!

You should decide who you really want to be with and THEN fess up.

I hate to tell you but some of the spark is always going to go away in every relationship. That's life. Once you find the partner you love you have to make a commitment and stay together and AVOID other sparks from happening. The ability to do this comes with time and maturity (for some, not all)

In short, grow up! Do the right thing, whether that is stay or go, but do it honestly and what little integrity you have left.

You and the best friend have lied, cheated, and betrayed your boyfriend.

Fess up, and let him decide if you and this other backstabber deserves his forgiveness, if you have the courage.

I doubt it since cheaters are liars, and selfish cowards, most times and I am sure you both fall into those categories.

Or maybe you deserve each other and you should leave your boyfriend.

Either way he deserves better.

How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Would you want to know if your boyfriend slept with your best friend?

I really hope that you learn your lesson, what kind of example are you setting up for your child?

I finally got your post after reading it four times: boyfriend = boyfriend and best-friend.

You should absolutely tell your boyfriend you cheated with his best-friend. As for what happens from there I have no idea.

When in a relationship, I always recommend carrying a fire extinguisher, that way sparks don't get out of hand.

If you're mature enough as to make your own decision to sleep with your boyfriends best friend, the you should be mature enough to take the consequences that are in your future if you decide to tell your boyfriend what happened.

In all honesty, I would tell him. Living in a lie is one of the hardest things any human being will possibly ever have to go through. And from then on, you'll live with a guilty conscience. If you don't live with a guilty conscience, then there's no doubt in my mind that you won't go and do it again.

Relationships are about trust and working together. Trust takes years to build and seconds to shatter.

Good luck.

You made the choice. Live with the consequences.

Honestly is always the best policy. Its time to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings for his best friend. Explain to him how you feel about HIM. (do you still love your boyfriend?)

If you love him, and DO NOT want a relationship with his best friend, and want to make your relationship with your boyfriend work, TALK TO HIM. Tell him EVERYTHING. And tell him honestly and openly that you want to fix it and make it right.

If he loves you enough, he will work through it with you and fight to keep your relationship.

He may choose NOT to. Being cheated on is not fun, it makes you feel used, degraded, and terrible.


If however you do not want to work it out with your boyfriend and just want to focus on his best friend. You STILL need to tell him. Talk to him about everything.

I will try and stay calm while I type this out but wow, you are out of your mind. So, you have a boyfriend, a baby, and you are screwing your boyfriends best friend? What is wrong with you? I hate cheaters, and you should feel bad for this because you made a bad choice. He really doesn't deserve this so just let him go, whichever way you decide to. If you stay with him, I am sure you will end up cheating again once you get those urges, and let me tell you, nobody likes to be cheated on. You made a commitment to him and you decided to break it, so leave the poor guy alone. At least have the decency to tell him about you and his friend so he won't keep that prick around too.

There is no excuse more common than blaming one's boyfriend, for somehow coming up short, and you needing another man in the picture to make up what's lacking in your relationship.

The time to have talked to your boyfriend, was before you slept with his best friend.

Things aren't the same after the baby came along is a really, really lame excuse. What did you think would happen when you decided to have a baby. What you should have done is put the baby's needs first, and not risked losing her father because you can't control yourself.

I think your needs were purely selfish. The only person that mattered in your decision to sleep with your husbands best friend, was you. The risk was great, and still is, that you may very well lose him. What if he decides to fight you for custody, and you also lose your daughter in the process.

And your home, and your lifestyle, and the love of a man who has no idea how low you've gone.

If you choose to speak to your husband about this, and I hope you do because he needs to know what kind of person you are, and what kind of 'friend' he has, starting with making him the cause of your infidelity will surely push you out the door sooner.

If, and this is a big if for someone who cheats, then wonders what to do about it, he accepts what you have done, consider yourself a lucky woman.

I cannot see how you can't tell him. This is a big crack in the foundation of the relationship.

You and the best friend deserve each other. How long will it be before you feel a "spark" for someone else... maybe the postman or the UPS guy. You give good women a bad name.

Your daughter is half you, and half this guy who you have deceived. You planned this out with forethought, and made his best friend turn into a betrayer, like Judas. Your "relationship" is based on lies and scheming, and you seem to have no remorse.

How selfish are you? You say that you "love him and care for him"? WOW, I'd hate to see how you would "turn loose" if you didn't "love" him SO MUCH.

So what, did you think that what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him?
A man with headphones on walking down the railroad tracks does not know a train is coming... until.. WHAM!

You are the train. A selfish, uncaring train.

You two have made his whole life a lie. All for a roll in the hay. I hope you are satisfied.

I'm sorry, but you get what you give. No, I don't think that you should keep "quite" ( quiet ). This man who has probably been good to you for five years deserves to know what kind of people he is surrounded by. So HE can decide what to do with you both.

I'm on his side. Can you tell?

I think you should keep it to yourself till you know what you want!