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-   -   When I don't speak to my boyfriend I miss him;when I speak to him I get frustrated (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=478232)

  • Jun 10, 2010, 03:22 AM
    megryan27
    When I don't speak to my boyfriend I miss him;when I speak to him I get frustrated
    Hi to all,

    My relation with my boyfriend is not going good. I love him and he says he loves me too, but I don't feel that he does.
    He borrowed money from me (in march) which he was supposed to return by end of April but hasn't. Every time I asked him to return my money, he made an excuse or said he'll deposit it in a day or two, however, that day hasn't come till date. Now, I don't even ask him about the money.
    He always gives me missed calls and asks me to call back.
    Due to this, I had stopped speaking to him as a man who can't keep to his words now, would not keep his promises in future.
    In the beginning he called me a lot of times asking me to give him a chance.However, after I told him that I too love him, he's stopped calling.
    I am confused because when I don't speak to/call him I keep on thinking about him and miss him but when I call him, I feel frustrated. The reason behind it is that though he talks very sweetly but does not understand things. For example: last night I told him that a few days back, a guy from my school, who had in those days tried to exploit me,was calling and troubling me again. And informed him that though I have now sorted out things but had missed my boyfriend very badly and needed his support, all he told was a sorry for not being there and a minute later he tells me that he's feeling sleepy.

    So, I said him goodbye, he did realize that I was hurt, because he did say that it wasn't a nice goodbye but did not understand the reason that I wanted him to speak to me for some more time and console me. This is not the first time that he could not understand my feelings and I am tired of telling him to talk to me for some more time as I needed reassurance from his side.

    I am very confused whether he loves me or not due to these two things.
    Though there are a few good reasons I talk to him and that are that he has never made me feel that I am a sex object, also he motivates me in my work.

    I feel very helpless when it comes to decide whether to leave him or stay with him!
  • Jun 10, 2010, 06:13 AM
    talaniman

    He has good points and bad, as we all do. I think it comes down to how much of his bad points can you put up with? And if his bad point outweigh the good ones.

    I guess you have to make a list and see if this is really worth it or not. If your needs as a person are not being met, what's the point?

    If you cannot work together for the benefit of you both, again what's the point?

    Maybe your work can be motivated by other means, and would that make a difference in how you feel about him? Try it and see.
  • Jun 10, 2010, 12:03 PM
    megryan27

    Thanks. I am definitely going to note the good and bad points and see which outweighs which.

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