Hi everyone, I am going to try and make this post as short as possible and still be able to explain a bit of background too!

I am only 26 years old, and feel as though I am going through a mini-life crisis and need some relationship advice.

My partner and I have been dating for just over 7 years now, and have had our share of ups and downs... we having been living together for 6 years.

Lately, I feel detached... I don't feel I am emotionally in our relationship anymore, even though I still deeply love my partner. When we started dating I lost contact with my circle of friends, and become invested solely in my partner. He didn't like me "partying" or going places without him, so I simply stopped. Looking back now, I am 26 years old, never had a girls night away, gone for drinks after work, even gone clubbing - things I consider a normal part of being in your twenties... although my partner never stopped me from doing these things.. there has always been an underlying expectation that I didn't.

Now, I feel I have missed out. I feel like I am trapped, and will regret these things later on. Regret that I never had those carefree days, the single life I suppose. I don't blame my boyfriend, as it was my decision, but I think deep down, it is affecting how I feel towards him.

Furthermore, and probably the biggest problem - he is never home, he works around the clock, usually 15 hour days, 7 days a week... and when he is home, he sleeps or watches TV. He doesn't want to talk, isn't affectionate in the slighest (I am very affectionate) and seldom wants to have sex now too.

I feel trapped, depressed, and actually starting to not care as much as I used to when he works late - this worries me...

I still love him, I don't want to end the relationship, but I do not want to continue like this either... I have spoken to him at length about this, and how I feel etc, unfortunately, nothing has changed, even though he expressed that he will try. About once a month we have the same disagreement regarding how much he works etc, and the same outcome being that we love each other and will try harder etc, but now I feel I am starting to "switch off"...

What do I do now?

Many thanks in advance,
Pura

You need a life filled with good clean adult fun, and friends and activities you enjoy. There are many things you could be doing while he works his butt off.

Are there children involved? Why sit around and be miserable, waiting for him to fulfill you, and make you happy?

That really is your responsibility. Just curious, how much longer does this dating thing go on? Where are you guys headed in the future?

Hi Talaniman, and thank you for your response.

No children involved.

I am waiting for him to propose to me, and have been "dropping hints" for the past 4 years... we have spoken about it a few times, and he has expressed wanting to propose to me, but also said he wasn't in a position with his career to get married yet... so I keep waiting. I guess that is also another problem, as I am ready to settle down.

I would love to go out while he works, but it makes me feel as though I am not being supportive, and will miss out on possible time I could be spending with him.

Hi, I feel as though I'm in the same situation as you. I met my husband when I was 17 and now been married for 3 and 1/2 years, I'm now 22. I lost contact with my close friends because we did so much together as a couple, and I started to feel like you do. Now I'm trying much harder with friends, texting them, arranging girlie sleep overs etc, you should try communicating more with girls like phoning and text, maybe meet up for lunch while your man is at work? I know how he makes you feel in that you shouldn't do stuff without him-but you must! Do it while he is at work so he doesn't feel as though your taking time away from him. Get him to go out with his friends while you go out with yours. Hope this helps.

Just because your b/f wants to work himself into an early grave doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold whilst he does it.

You're a person too, you have wants and needs too, so does he but it would seem he's shelved his because he is choosing to be a workaholic.

My own partner is very similar.

I knew though why he was working himself almost to death, he had a company that he was trying to hold together.

So I understood what was behind his doing as he did, and I also know that when a man works all the hours under the sun, when they get home at end of each day they usually just want to unwind, and all that work means they don't feel like taking part in the normal or usual activities involved in keeping their relationships alive and nurtured.

Its not that they don't want to, but the pressure of working so many hours each day and for 7 days a week, means they don't have enough left after that to put anything into a relationship.

You didn't say if your b/f is working towards a specific goal, like is he working so much to ensure you have a house or something along these lines, as stated my partner was working like a dog in order to prevent his company going under, sadly though he didn't achieve his aim.

Although he's recently embarked on a new business venture.

One that's less demanding.

What you need to do is if you don't already know why he is working so many hours each day is find out.

Get him to have at least one day a week off for himself and his relationship with you, its true what they say all work and no play makes jack a boring b*stard.

It also makes for a very lonely life for their partners.

If he isn't working for one specific aim or goal it shouldn't be that hard to convince him to take at least one day a week off for relationship/homelife time.

Talk to him, in a gentle unscathing manner, don't nag ( as men call it)
Use loving words like darling you really need some you time or us time, can't you have just one day a week off, I miss you blah blah.

Make home life appealing, by greeting him with a kiss and a welcoming hello when he gets home each day, entice him with your womanly whiles to take time off from work, Im sure you can figure out how to do this!

Make home the place he will want to be at more often. Put love notes in his lunch box, put the romance back in your lives, send him texts or phone him saying that you are intending to ------- you fill in the blanks, and Im fairly certain he will soon be working less and spending more time chasing you around the place.

I did this or similar, and it worked, I had a job getting him to go into the office some days.

You've nothing to lose. But much to gain. You just need to show him how much fun being at home more often can be. Its in your hands. Good Luck.

Don't forget true love is unconditional.

I for one don't think this has anything to do with your relationship with him. You have invested your entire life around one person who should not bear the responsibility of making you happy. Personally, as a guy, I prefer girls who have their own life, friends and activities that they enjoy doing. No one wants to be the center of the universe for another person...

You need to go out and live, rekindle lost friendships and make up for lost time. If this isn't what he "expects" of you then rework the expectations. You can't just sit at home and slowly die inside. That sucks, frankly, and you should take action now!

I wouldn't invest in trying to make home some oasis for him, I would invest in myself and making my own life much more fulfilling than it is.

Honestly, if he thinks that you're supposed to sit and home and do nothing while he's working all week long, that's selfish on his part. Why would he want to keep you at home waiting for him all the time? He should be supporting you when you want to go out and have fun.

I would really be questioning what kind of position he has at work, if all these hours are even necessary. And I would really be questioning where this relationship is going. 7 years and no ring... wow. I know it happens, but I would be going nuts wondering where the relationship is going. I would sit down and talk to him. Worst case scenario, you break it off, get to enjoy single life for a while, go out and do all the things you wanted to do guilt free, and eventually meet someone who will put you higher on his list of priorities.

Seems I put a comment in the wrong comment box or that of wrong post, this is meant in response to kctigers post.

If you don't have a job get one help relieve the pressure and occupy your time more.