Ask Me Help Desk - I don't know any girls

Hi Im 19 and Im a virgin and have never had a girlfriend. Perhaps more worrying though is that Ive never had a girl AS a friend. Ive never really interacted with females at all, which is strange considering Im 19 and in my 2nd year at uni, and all my mates seem to get girlfriends all the time. My main problem is shyness but I don't know how I can overcome it. How abnormal is this and how can I solve it?

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Originally Posted by abyss1

hi Im 19 and Im a virgin and have never had a girlfriend. perhaps more worrying though is that Ive never had a girl AS a friend. Ive never really interacted with females at all, which is strange considering Im 19 and in my 2nd year at uni, and all my mates seem to get girlfriends all the time. my main problem is shyness but I dont know how I can overcome it. How abnormal is this and how can I solve it?

Try getting a little buzz , work out and keep your chin up. Good hygiene is a must

Decide ahead of time that you are simply going to blow the first three attempts (that way there is zero pressure), then envision what you might be like having survived all that and start there instead. It really is no substitution for experience on this one so when you're ready, go get some experiences! We girls aren't really all that difficult, well, we are but we're mostly a fun difficulty LOL. On any given day with too much male attention, I can still fluster pretty badly, and although I am a little uncomfortable with that, someone who thinks that's adorable found me... so it will be the case about some girl liking the shy, quiet type. You'll see but only if you get out there and mix it up!

You are not abnormal at all, and you just have to learn to take life at your own pace. Because others appear to be having more fun, trust me, they also have their own problems to deal with, you just can't see that part. Take your time and be yourself, and do the things you enjoy and it will work out the right way. Just believe in yourself, and know what it is you want from life, and make PLANS to get it. RELAX and learn. The females will come.

If you think shyness is your main problem that you should take a course in public speaking or something where you would interact with a group of people. Everyone is shy to some degree, some force themselves to hide it others learn how to control it.
An example is if you see a guy and he is really being silly around a girl or girls you can bet that he is very shy.

Shyness !

Normally when to people like each other physically and personality they are naturally drawn towards one another, each displays signs of attraction both conscience. And subconsciencesly.

Now if one person likes another but this is one sided, the person with the attraction displays these signs and the person without the attraction displays the opposite signs.

SHY PERSON: Because a shy person cannot openly display the signs of attraction even though they feel this way, they instead give of totally mixed signal to the person they find attractive. The person on the receiving end of these mixed signals, cannot read them and is scared by them, viewing the shy person as a strange person or a creep.

The way to overcome shyness, is to remember that you are displaying confusing, mixed up signals to the person you desire and by doing this you are pushing them away from you.

So in the early stages of communicating with some one you like, tell them you quite like them and would be open to getting to know them better but you are very shy. By doing it this way, you are:

1. Not giving confusing signals. (The other person will have been shy sometime in their life, so they will understand your feelings).

2. Because you are just saying you like them and would be open to getting to know them better, if they do not like you in that way this is less of a rejection than a flat out No. Which is what a shy person fears.