Ask Me Help Desk - Man doesn't call, but texts!

Man doesn't call, but texts!

Hi I was two times out with a man whom I met on the dating site.To arrange these meetings he always texts me, he texted me between the meetings too. But somehow I am aware that he is not interested, because he never brought me flowers, talks a lot about his ex girlfriend who hurt him a lot in the past. He talks a lot but when he asks me a questions about myself he doesn't listen patiently,-wants to talk again..
He always texts every 2-3 days, never calls.
I feel that this is really boring stage of relationship or friendship and feel that he is really not into me. But after the two meetings he still asked me out. We have to meet tomorrow, but he did not confirmed the time, hour and place yet,just sent me a text wishing nice day.. confused:
I don't feel happy, I feel as if I am not really needed what should I do? Shall I still go to meet him as if I don't feel that he is not interested, and see how it would eventually fade away anyway?

Thanks for your answers!

It sounds like you do not have an interest in him. Honestly why do you feel obligated to go out with this guy if you do not like him.

You are not obligated to go out with him.
You say thanks but no thanks and that will be the end of it.

It sounds like he isn't ready for a relationship with anyone because he is still in a relationship with his ex. Technically they may not be a couple (I have some doubts about that), but he is still caught up in that relationship and using you as a counselor. You don't have to let him.

For future reference, in any relationship, you are his equal and not employed by him to be his counselor. You can ask that he call instead of texting. You can walk away with no regrets if the relationship isn't working out. Though, I wouldn't call this one a relationship.

Let him continue to entertain himself and find someone more compatible for you.

Thank you very much to all!

As an ex player myself trust me he's playing you, he'l have at least another 1 or 2 other women on the go as well as you which is why it's difficult for him to call you.

What does he really want?

Hi, please advise me.
I am seeing this man, which is quite I would say romantic. He sends me text messages with nice wishes , etc. This texting escalates into conversations.We met 4 times only in different caffes, went for a walk and had relaxing time. Then he goes to his house and I go to mine. After 2 days he texts me again with good wishes I text him back.Everything would be fine but I feel that I really fed up with texting. I told him that I am tired of texting. He said that he will call and he didn't. He said that he only have credit for texting but he will put money for calling to me.He said that texting he doesn't like also and told me that he will call. But he didn't call me, even though he arranged the time to call and didn't.. Later he just sent me a text withouth saying anything why he didn't call as promised. . Later I asked him why didn't he call was just wandering why is that.He said he didn't have money on the phone. What is it? Does that mean that he finds it difficult to put some money just to give a quick call and say hello? Doesn't man have to call to a woman if he likes her? ( at least that's what he is saying all the time).He tries to kiss me when we meet ( I do not feel that I want it) but I feel that he just wants to take me for granted- no flowers, no phone calls.If a man likes a woman the way he does ( his texts are always romantic and warm) doesn't he give her flowers? Can he be a cheapskate? I don't know why I think that. He looks into the price when ordering something and takes the cheepest one for himself.Of course I feel that would be making a crime if I order something for the bigger price...
I know I am making issues of it but small thing together make a big mountain. This texting thing got me and he knows that but he still texts..
Today he sent me another very warm and beautiful text but I am sooo tired of this texting and don't want to text back, I know it would be rude, but I just tired. If I answer him this texting would go for ages.I will be angry inside me also all that time.. But My guess is that if will not text him back, after sending me another text message he will quit with me altogether.. He is good man and would be sad to loose him just because of the text-communication cannot be changed to the calls from his side

Well, to start with how did u guys meet? And what kind of job does he have? Maybe money is really tight and he really can't afford to put money on his phone or buy something expensive from the menu. Or maybe he really is cheap just see what happens if u don't text back

Quote:

Originally Posted by amanda7890

well, to start with how did u guys meet? and what kind of job does he have? maybe money is really tight and he really can't afford to put money on his phone or buy something expensive from the menu. or maybe he really is cheap just see what happens if u dont text back

We met on line 7 months ago. Started going out at the beginning of this month. I don't need expensive things but doesn't man really to have to work a bit harder to get to the woman< like bringing a flower doesn't cost a fortune or calling - if he puts in his mobile a couple of pounds just to call me in the beginning of the week to arrange the meeting date on Saturday and then to confirm a date again on Friday,I would appreciate that a lot. I would feel certain this man likes me. If I also spend my money texting him back we are equal, he doesn't really tries to win me as in normal dating as our dads and moms did.. ( he is an ingeneer by the way).

Maybe he is a poor engineer. Who knows, but its obvious you expect a lot, and he can't give it, for whatever reason. Never heard of an engineer who can't afford a payment plan on his cell phone though.

Why haven't you called him would be my question. And if he can't do what you want, why are you wasting your time. Get an old fashion guy, who calls, and buys flowers why dontcha.

Is he still talking about his ex?

He may have other commitments where his money is going. Child support, family, rent, food, etc. The ex he talks about may have left him with some bills he is still paying off. His internet may be costing him a fortune. He could have student loans that take up a good bit of his salary or he could have had a very bad childhood and is saving his money so he doesn't end up without any should something negative happen.

You haven't been 'dating' him very long. You don't have to date someone who seems to have lead you on while you were corresponding on the dating site.

I am still wondering if he is in a relationship and seeing you on the side.

Communicate with him and work out a compromise or move on to someone who fits your concept of a partner better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Maybe he is a poor engineer. Who knows, but its obvious you expect a lot, and he can't give it, for whatever reason. Never heard of an engineer who can't afford a payment plan on his cell phone though.

Why haven't you called him would be my question. And if he can't do what you want, why are you wasting your time. Get an old fashion guy, who calls, and buys flowers why dontcha.

I did call him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by S SID

As an ex player myself trust me he's playing you, he'l have at least another 1 or 2 other women on the go as well as you which is why it's difficult for him to call you.

Can I ask you a question as an ex player, please? How to become the one and only for a man who dates /has more than one other woman?:rolleyes:

It's not about the woman, but about him. When he wants to settle down he will, when he meets that woman who strikes him, he will.
You don't become someone or something to make a man want you. He wants you for who you are or he doesn't want you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Can I ask you a question as an ex player, please? How to become the one and only for a man who dates /has more than one other woman?:rolleyes:

Unfortunately only he can decide that. I've been with my partner for coming up to a year now and wouldn't dream of cheating on her... the reason why, well I suppose it's because I don't want to lose her. When I played I was low, very low (don't know if you can read the first ever question I sent?) and I wasn't of a clear mind, it's as if I wanted to hurt the people I was playing for some reason, maybe to stop my hurt?? Although I never let them know I was playing them in my mind all was good, not nice I know but... it helped my get through a bad time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by S SID

Unfortunately only he can decide that. I've been with my partner for coming up to a year now and wouldn't dream of cheating on her...the reason why, well i suppose it's because i don't want to lose her. When I played I was low, very low (don't know if you can read the first ever question I sent?) and I wasn't of a clear mind, it's as if I wanted to hurt the people I was playing for some reason, maybe to stop my hurt??? Although I never let them know I was playing them in my mind all was good, not nice I know but......it helped my get through a bad time.

Thank you for your reply!Well if you are hurt you want to hurt ( or play) too. I understand what are you saying. That's maybe the case with my friend too, as he divorced his wife whom he loved a lot.. ( re your first post -I only managed to find out your question about who came first chicken or egg:))

Ah, well my first question was quite deep a I was very VERY low, luckily I'm fine now and feel that if I can help someone else then that's great. Good luck and I hope you've moved on from the player and hope you find happiness again soon.

Are you sure he's not married or involved with someone else?

Quote:

Originally Posted by positiveparent

Are you sure hes not married or involved with someone else?

I'm wondering the same thing

Shall I go to the beach?

Hi, I only saw this guy 5 times. That is we have been dating for only a month. Did't kissed yet .He suggested we go to the beach. Shall I go or not?
Thank you