Im still with my husband of five years and he started as prince perfectly charming then he has slowly changed over the years. It started by wanting to SAVE money. Which I have no issue with as long as NEEDS are being MET. Which that is where things began to get harder. I started getting lectured as to holding on tight to money for vacations OK we did that and he only seems to be letting me buy CLOTHES for me and our kids IF HE feels it is needed. Most my clothes have holes or are faded to the extent a BUM would not wear them. He has began threatening to KILL me but I fear that the cops will not do anything to help or protect me once they do help me(seeing tooooooo MANY things in the news where the cops did not make serious to threats to women's lives lately and women are becoming DEAD behind it. I've cntacted NYSCADV but they have not gotten back to me.(and they HELP people in situations like MINE?! ) the acronym is New York state coalition against domestic violence. He keeps telling me that there is no one up here to help us or me and the kids that I need to stop trying to ask for their ideas on how best ot handle some issues that may arise in life(like how best to potty train our kids or put them into toddler beds) he does not listen to anything I say he acts like he NEVER hears me if I ask him to do a favor for me I have to repeat EVERYTHING I say to him. I feel my spirit being slowly killed and I've told people and they say LEAVE that is hard to do when the only shelters that take families is FULLLLLL any more bright ideas and no the money we have is not easily gotten by me.

And I have friends and can only see the one he knows and met before. If I say I went to some other friends house it's a big issue... there is so much that is going on I can't possibly put it all on here.

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Originally Posted by needsum1zhelp

He has began threatening to KILL me but i fear that the cops will not do anything to help or protect me once they do help me(seeing tooooooo MANY things in the news where the cops did not make serious to threats to womens lives lately and women are becoming DEAD behind it.

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Hello needs:

Yeah, I wouldn't call the cops either. I'd obtain a restraining order from the court. That way he has to move out, and YOU stay in the house. At the same time, I'd file for divorce, and emergency alimony and child support from him, so you and the kids can continue eating and paying rent.

You can do all this by yourself at your local courthouse. Yeah, it would be easier if you had a lawyer, but not impossible if you don't.

excon

Thank you so much excon. I'm looking into that as we speak. Planning on taking the trip tomorrow while he at home with the kids and I'm out paying the bills he going to gripe at later after the money gone from bills... REALLY thank you. Had no clue and in case anyone else needs to know they DO have an indigent waiver for poor people filing fr divorce that gets the fees WAIVED! That means that I get to file FREE! Thank you!

NY has an indigent waiver for "poor people" filing for divorce? I am in NY, work in the Court system, was not aware of that. I have seen it where single mothers are involved but not when there's a married couple and the man works. I'd be interested in how that works.

Yes, go to Family Court. I wouldn't file for a divorce, though. I'd ask for a Protective Order (as Excon said).