My daughter has been constantly lying for years now , if we caught her out she would say that nobody believes and do selfharm.She has now turned 16 and has walked out of the home telling lies of why she has left . These lies could split the family as she has already split part of the family, we have contacted the police and social servises and they can not help as she is 16. What can we do?

Can you offer an explanation, or give examples of why she lies, and what the lies are. If she is only 16 and has been telling lies 'for years' as you say, how are you so certain that what she says is all lies.

If she was not believed about something serious, or something was going on that you thought were lies, and she has resorted to self harm to be heard, do you have any idea what may have caused that?

How has she split the family.

Is she in school, and do you know where she is?

Beside telling the police and social services, have you spoken to those who are sheltering her now? Do you know them? Have you contacted the school? Does she, or has she ever been in counselling?

I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but for a 16 year old to take off and be considered so totally responsible for how she ended up, is a puzzle to me, without more facts.

Surely there must be more to this than what you are saying.

I think you need help too. Trying to lay all the blame on the daughter. That she is to blame for everything and that she will split the family apart. I think that you need to take responsibility for your part in this too. Just do not lay all the blame on a 16 year old. You all need help as a family. Counseling together as a family.

Stop laying all the blame on your child and if your child is self harming there must be reasons for it. It is your job as a parent to do everything to help your child out, not make it worse.

Seek out counseling for the whole family.