Haven't posted on here for a while. Again, I'm not really asking a question per se, just seeking a bit of reassurance & some help, as... well... having an outside opinion always helps with a bit of clarification.
Been seeing a girl for 3 weeks. We get on incredibly well, have a great spark, feel comfortable around each other, etcetc. The problem is that within these 3 weeks we've seen each other 6 times, which is pretty intense. Things just got better after every date though, so I just ran with it, as it felt good. She seems to feel the same way...
... except for our contrasting barriers. She was previously (~8 months ago) in a tough relationship where he didn't show much attention (at all) and she felt thoroughly neglected. They broke up multiple times, got back, etc (obviously didn't initiate NC). So she's pretty cold towards showing how she feels & her barrier is to reject emotional approaches.
My barrier is to be incredibly intense as I *know* that pushes people away, 100%. When I start caring for someone I become utterly irrational and throw up my barriers so I don't get hurt again. The usual.
Obviously these contrasting barriers are starting to create a bit of friction now. Things are going swimingly, then either she'll totally clam up, or I'll say something utterly ridiculous and forward thinking, even when I'm not even actively thinking about it. It's just a reactionary thing.
Guess I just need someone to tell me that I'm being an idiot, and to snap out of that stupid self destructive hard coded barrier, or I'll probably lose someone who I could have a fun time with. If anyone has any pointers as to how I can actually overcome my intensity, that would be greatly appreciated too!