My wife of ten yrs use to do anything and everything to do with sex, now she can't be bothered. I cook, clean, fix car, walk dogs, get our 7yr old of to school, put up with her 14yr old boys bad mouth to me, and the other two older ones, she lets him bully our 7yr old, and I am the bad one, she lets him bunk school when he wants, he treats our house like a dustbin, leaving a mess everywhere, and yet she's happy to leave me on the sofa, as I can't sleep next to her as I want to have sex, and I am sick of being rejected. She uses our bedroom as a bedsit drinking every night, popping her stress pills, and sleeping pills, all I want is some loving from my wife, both the 2 older kids have slapped the 14 yr old, and told him to buck up as his pushing us all apart, but his mum does nothing, as I think she is scared of him, can you help before I go mad feeling so lonely in my own house.

Scrape them all together in one place, find some backbone, and lay down the law, keithrhodes, before you loose your sanity, your family and your house. You sound asbolutely desperate and I can understand why. I don't know how many times I have answered a post about a teen in the family who can't control their actions or their mouth, or for that matter, a wife who has lost all respect for you husband. These things should not happen and you should not let it continue. Who pays the bills around there, and who puts food on the table ? If you do, then you know what to do.

Tick

Have you thought about Marriage and Family Counseling? When was the last time she saw a doctor? What has her doctor said (preferably the one prescribing pills) about her state of mind and health?

It sounds like she is and has been under a lot of stress to the point of depression and giving up. Think about these questions from her point of view: What do you do to help relieve the stress? What do you do to add to it?

Problems like these do not occur overnight and they take a lot of time and effort on everybody's part to fix. So don't look for quick fixes.

By the way, it is a huge cry for help that she is mixing pills and alcohol. Sleeping pills and alcohol can be a deadly combination.

She needs some serious professional help.

Instead of worrying about what you want (i.e. sex) and how you're suffering (i.e. picking up her slack), I suggest you channel your energy in getting her some help.

She's obviously hit rock bottom, it's time to get her out of there. Once she's out of her rut, you can work together again to have a healthy family and to repair your marriage. But if she can't even help herself, how can she give you want you want?

Sounds like your wife needs some serious help. Having sex is the last thing she needs.
With the alcohol and pills did it even occur to you she is in trouble?
Get her some help. Talk to her Doctor who is prescribing these pills. See if he can tell you what you need to do to get her some help.

While I understand your need for physical intimacy with your wife, at the moment, this is the least of your problems.

Think of this as a layer cake.

On the top layer is where you have put your need for intimacy with your wife.

The next layer under that is your wife is withdawn from you, and the children. She uses drugs and alcohol to cope with her life, and seems to be stuck in a rut.

The next layer under that are the kids, who are dealing with their mother being out of it, and you seemingly detached yourself, and nobody is coming up with a plan to discipline them, or properly care for them.

The foundation, which should be the part that the whole cake is built up from, is crumbling. All the layers of the cake are falling into one another.

While you may be feeling rejected, and rightly so, the children have to come first. If you don't know how to effectively discipline them, start doing some research online, and maybe speak to your doctor about a referral to a counsellor who can assist you, and support your efforts to gain control of them.

I would also recommend that you seek some information from your wife's family Doctor, on the symptoms she shows at home, and make an appointment to get her in for a physical and an assessment of the medication. Being treated with prescription drugs, and drinking alcohol is where to start. Ask questions, and expect answers on just what it is he's treating her for, and why it isn't working, and what he can recommend to help.

Families go through hell from time to time, yours is no different.

My advice to you is to put your needs aside for now, and start re-building that foundation.

You're entire life is in chaos, and all you worry about is sex? No wonder you sound so desperate. You're the head of the house, so you lay down, and enforce the law, and get that woman of yours some serious help, as everyone is acting out, even you, because of her dysfunction.

Either take FULL control, and handle your business, or drown in your own SH!T!

When things are in order, and your wife recovers, and EVERYONE even you is on a healthy path, then sex may come back, but for now you have plenty of work to do. Get busy. You may need some help yourself. Get it.

Hello My name is Dlaine

Yes I agree that your wife needs help. I use to be her. I was once married to my first husband. We both started not to talk and or marriage fell short of sex and just being together. I felt dissconnected from him and the world, I don't know why. I felt down for a while and I knew something was wrong. I was so angrey at the world but did not know why. So I started drinking and popping bills as will as smoking pot to ease the pain. I thought it would take the pain away put in all reality it just made things worse. I was crying out for help in my own way. No one knew that I was crying for help by these reactions. One day husband and I were in to a big fight I was so pilled up and drinking that of the night of fight. I went to yell at him and stumbled on my feet, Loosed balance and fell threw or living room window. After going to hospital and being treated.As well as being in rehab for my drug abuse. Cousler told me like this
I have dirty ugley (weeds) type of grass you don't want in your pretty garden)
Growing in side of me that I have to stay in counsling to dig up the roots so that they can not grow and come back to hurt me.

She was right If I did not get rid of the root to the promblem it would spring back..

Your wife is reaching out for help
Not sure what direction to go. Please believe me her world is spinning just as your is.

Take time to talk to her and be patient reinsure her that you love her and want to help.
Ask her to tell you how she fells in side with out being angrey
Let her get her felling out.
That wll help her a lot cause believe me stuffing them down only makes more weeds.

Something that might help your wife I know it helped me

I went to AA were I could just listen to other promblems. When I felt confertable enough I told my storie. I made some good friend that understood my pain and supported me when I feel and when made progress.

Your wife might need to just give it a try.

As far as you we all need to fell love by having sex with or mate.
I do understand.
Pleas be patient and seek help for all.
Your wife has a Big Gaint Monkey on her back that just will not go away.. until she get proper help.

She need that help from You by being strong and loving.. I know it hard believe me I saw mine go threw the heart ach in helping me to recover from depperssion and drinking and drugs.
One day at a time my friend baby steps.
One reason I went to AA cause my husband did not understand the effect of drugs and drinking so he could not relate.

I hope that I helped you

Please stay strong and remember baby steps.
Get to the Root of the promblem and dig them up so that you both can heal.

Have a Bless Day
Dlaine