I to have a 19 year old daughter, she stays at her creepy boyfriends house who stold from us(her parents) we caught him when we discovered our chain saw was in hawk at the pawn shop, since then we don't allow him at our home, she didn't really care that he did that because she said to us she really loves him, so we put up with her seeing him, however we let her know he's no good, she lives here with us, she comes home about 2 to 3 days then off to his house for a week or so, he has hit her and cheated on her, she has cheated on him to, when she's home she is bored and stays in her room with her little dog and gets on the internet, I visit with her in her room and try to get her to come watch movies with her dad and I, she doesn't really want to, she says its boring, she never did her homework much,she graduated but not because she did her own work, someone else did it all for her, she has a nice truck we bought her, she won't even go doen and do a driverse test, she won't apply herself to anything to help herself, only to be with her boyfriend and sit in his tiny little room with him in his dirty little house that he lives in with his mom and brothers, she has a brother to, they get along and there are times when they don't, but she cusses at me,wants me to wait on her, I do, I hug her and kiss her and let her know I love her lots, but I tell her she's better than him,and she needs to reach higher and she needs her driverse license and a job! She at least id off cigarettes, I put her on the patches to help her,she is surprisingly doing good on them, I think she thinks she is in love with her boyfriend who is no good, he hits her, and she hits him, when she gets home to our house they yell and scream and cuss at one another till she leaves and goes back to his house, it's a crazy weird mess,and she doesn't ever tell me she loves me unless I tel her ,then shell say I love you to mom, but most of the time when she is here at home she is a ,she wants us to wait on her, run her laundry,drive her everywhere, and pretty much just uses this home as a break point and to keep her bed here and her clothes, I feel unloved and used as a parent! And I have raised her with good morals and standards, she's not a drug addict or into alcohol,she does smoke some pot sometimes, I hardly consider that a drug. She does care about the way she looks! I just don't feel like I've done good enough here people, why does she want to be by herself in her room or at his house. He's just a chubby looser kid. Who steals,and hits her. I've had talks with him about it,things seem to have settled down on th hitting of her, and I've talked to her about the way she yells at him,such a reckless relationship. Yet they stay together. And can barley part from one another. I am so scarred she's going to get pregnant,or that they may run off and get married, I want her to be responsible and get a job, her license and schooling(college) I told her I would pay for finger nail school, but personally, I doubt she ever goes. She always has a good excuse. I hope she wakes up some day. I just don't feel like she respects me or even feels any love for me, however, if anyone talks bad about me, she will jump up and get in there face for it, but that doesn't prove anything, and I wish she would not do that,get in peoples faces, who cares if someone says something bad about me, I don't care, I don't have to be around those people, they mean nothing to me or my family! I don't have time for negative people in my life, I am a loner mom. My hubby works 16 hour shifts,he shows her attention when he's home, I just don't know where we went wrong,or what to do to get her to go to school and to get her license, I understnand she may very well marry this kid, and have a baby, she has to stub her own toes, I learned the same way, but! I always loved my mom and I never got pregnant,and I never stayed withcreepy boys,or anyone who would steal from my parents. There are some big differences here. Her love for him and her love for us, there is a knife stuck right in the middle! She yells and screams at me to get her something,if I don't do it she curses me. Is she spoiled??

Do you want an answer to all of this, or are you just blogging. Can you tell us exactly what you want more succinctly. This isn't a question, you are asking, not apparently so.

Tick

My question is why is my daughter being mean to me, I'm a loving mother to her!she acts like she could care less about me,I'm only there for rides, money,and waiting on her!

Hi t, okay, I understand what you want now. You are giving her too much, being too much of a mom, showing your love too much. She has lost respect for you because you are catering to her every whim. Can you see it that way after thinking about for a bit?

What you have to do is initiate a 'tough love' situation and not be there for her every time she has a problem, every time she wants something. Its going to hurt mightily, I know it would hurt me if I had to do it, but it is the best thing for her. She has to grow up, she has to mature and obviously this is not what she is doing right now.

She has to learn how to be her own woman and she won't as long as you help her. Maybe I missed something, but did you say she is your own child ? An only child is a cross to bear, t.

Do you see what you have to do now ? God bless you.

Ms tickle

No, she is not our only child, but she is the only girl, we have a son also! I called her today at her boyfriends house,he answered,I asked him today,what do you and lexy do all day, he said, we sit in my room and watch movies and pl;ay with the puppy,and then later he goes to bed,and she stays up watching TV,and she goes to bed at 5am in the morning,when he is just waking up. I feel like I don't have a daughter,she is never around me hardly ever,and when she is here she stays in her room. She shares nothing with me,sometimes I feel like I didn't or don't provide fun stuff for her, but I take her shopping,but she just doesn't enjoy be around me,that hurts me so much, I have nobody to share anything with, I feel all alone, my son hangs out with his dad and his girlfriend. I asked lexy's boyfriend who cooks for them, his mom, lexy or him? He said he does,he cooks for her. She has him doing stuff for her while she really does nothing, she does keep her bedroom clean now,she used to never do that, maybe she is a late bloomer? Maybe she will shape up, we are moving next month to Oregon,and I guess her boyfriend is moving there to,just can't get away from him. But I guess I can't pick who she likes, but, I did tell her she has to get her driverse lcense when we move and then a job. I just want her to be able to take care of herself,so she won't have to depend on a man to take care of her. And of course I want her love,just to sit and talk to me,to share something with me,my sons girlfriend spends time with me when she's here,and she spends time with her own mom to. And I wish lexy could be like that with me, but my sons girlfriend is 24, lex is 19. I guess I need to be patient and try to keep her going in the right direction and not make her mad or ill lose her, I must accomplish the goal with her of the driverse lic. And a job. At least if she leaves us I can at least feel good that she can drive and knows how to work. But I love her so much,she is so beautiful sometimes,but most the time she is mean and rude to me. I will take your advice and maybe not answer my cell phone to give her rides,let her figure it out,and her boyfriend. I will distance myself and my emotions, but I will still be there,just not so catering. That is going to make her really really angry at me,she is going to yell and scream and cuss at me a lot. But I guess I better toughen up and quit crying about it,it will still hurt me a lot, I want my daughter to be my best friend, or at least when she is with me to enjoy being with me. That would feel good for a change. She wants to be her own women I think,but with me doing everything for her,lioke she is rich or something,and has a maid! She will yell and scream then leave the house and go off with him,the boy who she thinks she is in love with and who stole from us!I try to give 2nd chances, but my hubby isn't going to let him come over anymore, and neither is my son,and they are probably correct,and I'm just being to nice to him,the boyfriend wanted to apologize to my husband,but my husband won't talk to him,my husband hates this kid,and so does my son. But lexy thinks she loves him,gosh,I hate my life right now, I want her to be with someone who is better than him,someone who could appreciate her,but,I know she has to have something to offer a good person first, this guy is such a looser, she is to good for him, she is always in a bad mood,when they split up for 3 months she was delightful to be around,and now they are back together, well, thank you for much,I think you are correct! I'm going to try it out and see how it goes. I will have to suffer some more to get her where she needs to be mentally! Thank you again!