My girl Friend of 9 years wants to take a year off and date other guys. She says that she love me, but there is something in her heart telling her to do this. She says that we can get together every 2 weeks for a date. We have broken up several times for the same reason, but she always comes back to me within a week or two. However this time it has been a month and it does not look like we are getting back together. She has already started dating others. She did cheat on me once during our relationship. My friend are all telling me to dump her and move on. But, I love her and it hurts a lot. I need help to decide what I should do.

You have NO CHOICE but to do your own thing, and let her do her thing.

Look guy she has done this before, and cheated, so why are you thinking this will not be a pattern in the future when she gets an itch? Me, I disappear and let her worry about where I am, and what I am doing, and NO, I would not be available to take her back, under any circumstances.

Maybe you can't control how you feel, but you can control what you do about it. You sure can't control how SHE feels, or what SHE does about it though.

There is no way of getting around the pain, but it truly does get easier once you get through it.
She has made it clear she is interested in seeing what else might be out there and has moved on in doing so.

Nine years is a long time for dating, you don't mention your ages, but if you started seeing each other while pretty young, there really wasn't the opportunity to get to know other people. That is what dating is all about... meeting different people and learning what you like and don't like.

It may be you two end up together in the long run after you have had some time apart and the chance to get to know different people, or either one of you may meet someone who has even more of the qualities you are looking for in a partner.

Take some time for yourself and hang out with your friends. Get involved at work or school, pursue an interest... in time you will likely meet someone you may decide you are interested in getting to know.

She’s really saying that she’s almost 100% sure that she doesn't want to be with you. She wants to keep you around as a back up plan, then if she doesn’t find someone she likes better she’ll come back to you, but if she finds another man that she likes better you will quickly become history.

When a woman wants to take a break what she really wants is to know that you’ll be waiting with open arms if she decides to come back.

People that take “breaks” only occasionally get back together. Accept this and live your life as if you were broken up for good. Heal and date other women.

Have some pride, don't allow her to see you once every 2 weeks. It has to be all or nothing. Why would you even consider it? She may end up bringing an STD with her.

Don’t hang out with or date her and don’t contact her. This is the only way you’ll stay sane throughout “the break.” Treat it as if it were a complete break up.

Who knows? Maybe once you see this break for the break up that it really is you’ll find that it is you who doesn’t want her anymore. Either way, this girl has cut you loose; it’s about time you did the same.

Yes, you are better than nothing else, so if she does not have another date, she will see you. The fact she tried this before, shows you that she really does not care for you, like you do for her.

And you are not dumping her, you are already dumped, so move on

As much as it hurts... you need to stop being her standby when things with another guy doesn't work out.

As long as you allow her to treat you like this.. the longer she'll do it.
Get out...

Run awwwaaaaayyyyyy~!

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Originally Posted by Torrid13

run awwwaaaaayyyyyy~!

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As Torrid said... Run away...

You should explain to her that there's "something in your heart" that's telling you to not be a doormat for a manipulative succubus. As your running away, of course.

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Originally Posted by Torrid13

You should explain to her that there's "something in your heart" that's telling you to not be a doormat for a manipulative succubus. As your running away, of course.

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I don't think the something she feels is in her heart:rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I don't think the something she feels is in her heart:rolleyes:

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You're right, that's probably the herpes.

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Originally Posted by Torrid13

You're right, that's probably the herpes.

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Torrid... I'm lol... You are a breath of fresh air. You have given great advice to this guy. (Wiping the tears of laughter away):D

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Torrid....I'm lol....You are a breath of fresh air. You have given great advice to this guy. (Wiping the tears of laughter away):D

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I try to add some humor to my responses. Keeps people on their toes. >:)

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Originally Posted by Torrid13

I try to add some humor to my responses. Keeps people on their toes. >:)

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It sure does.:D

My girlfriend cheated on her ex boyfriend of two years with me, dumped him, and started a relationship with me that has so far lasted two years. She moved away a month ago to the other side of the country. Now she's saying she wants to see other people and then get back together eventually. She's my first love, we took eachother's virginity.. and I wanted to marry her.. and I wanted to have her children.. but you know what? I put up with it for a little while and then I stood up for myself. I told her I want all or nothing and she immediately started blaming me for "ruining our relationship'. We have been on non-talking terms for a few days and I feel the pain.. but it's a searing burning pain in my my brain, not in my heart-and NOT the kind that makes me feel loved. When you give your heart to someone and they wrong you; it hurts more than anything! But after all the futile arguments and coming to the realization that she only cares about herself I'm starting to see things more clearly. I can't believe you put up with this for so long. Guys like us deserve to be more than doormats. I need to find someone who feels the same way about love that I do, which is that it is a special gift that is never to be taken lightly or thrown away by some sad excuse for a woman who gets bored easily!