Any thoughts on how one knows that someone is "the one;" your true love... vs. someone you have just become comfortable with. I ask because I feel like there is "something missing" in my relationship with my boyfriend, but I can't quite seem to figure out what it might be. I love him, and I can't imagine not having him in my life... but I feel like at some level I've just become comfortable having him in my life and it would be "painful" to part ways... I don't know if my question makes sense... I guess I just hear other people being "head over heels in love" and talk about passion and romance etc. and when they do, it makes me feel like something might be missing in my relationship because I don't feel those "sparks."

For a start, I don't believe there is only one "THE ONE". I think there are lots of people that you could love and be happy with, but you have to put some work into.

The whole passion and sparks thing is typical of the beginning of a relationship, but after a while, you need to work to keep them there. You don't stay head over heels forever, love changes as you grow.

However, I do think there should be sparks at the beginning, or you are in trouble.

I do feel that it's vital that whoever you pick has to be your best friend in the entire world, as well as the one who makes your tummy flutter when you think about him.

The only way you know if they are the one, is when you get old, and they are still there, and your still happy about it.

That spark is highly over rated, as sometimes it gets hidden by the realities of life, and you can't see it. No one thinks about a spark when the rent has to be paid and the car is broken down, or the dog ate your favorite shoes.

You will know when you have the one because whether the spark is there are not, your actions are about the love you feel that makes you both work very hard to keep it going.

Being in love is one of many feelings, but loving someone is about a lot of work, and experiences, both good, and bad. No matter how bad, you still keep working.

I agree with the above, there are many people out there that you can be happy with. The key thing is whether you are willing to put the work in there to keep the relationship going.

The thing about the "sparks" is that it is the time when you are getting to know the other person. At that time everything is good, you're looking at the world through rose covered glasses at that point in time. Yet, the "sparks" is usually because of the work that both are putting into the relationship to impress the other person in order to get a relationship to start. If the flow at the beginning isn't good, that usually means that a relationship will fail to form - one of the members are not that interested in the other person, or else they don't have enough in common.

How do you know?

When you don't need to ask.


Keep going and see if the questions lessen and lessen... Hope so.