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-   -   My 2yr old goes to bed OK but always wakes at 2am n ends up in our bed. Help? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=473857)

  • May 26, 2010, 11:50 PM
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    My 2yr old goes to bed OK but always wakes at 2am n ends up in our bed. Help?
    My 2 year old daughter has no problems going to bed, we have done the same routine since she was a new born, but every night between 2am and 4am she wakes up and will not go back to sleep and will paddy for hours until we finally give in and she sleeps with us, she is also very clingy to mummy.
  • May 27, 2010, 01:07 AM
    Buxnbaas

    Try enrolling her in preschool or daycare, after a few days the clingy will subside, because she is meeting new people and friends. May also tire her out more and make her sleep better, reducing chance she ends up in your bed.
  • May 27, 2010, 01:26 AM
    QLP

    It is a natural part of the sleep cycle to wake at certain times of the night. Mostly we are unaware of these wakenings because they are so brief. Your daughter is waking up and having difficulty getting back to sleep alone. Maybe she is having bad dreams.

    If she gets into the habit of coming into your bed at this point in order to fall back to sleep this is what will feel normal for her. Some parents are happy to allow this on the assumption that the child will grown out of it in time. If you don't want to do this then I suggest you take her back to bed, gently reassure her, and then tell her to go back to sleep. If she is too frightened then sit with her in her room a little while. Gradually increase the distance between you that she needs to make her feel safe. You may need to start by sitting on her bed for example, then on the floor nearby, then in the doorway, then on the landing just outside her room. You will need to do this over a period of several nights. If she comes to your room again repeat. Not easy at 2-4am in the morning I know. Maybe best started when you can schedule it so that you are best able to cope with the tiredness, perhaps when both parents are off work and can support each other best.

    Separation anxiety is normal at this age. Look at how you can make her feel secure during the day and encourage her to feel safe without clinging to mum all the time. Try and explain when you have to be apart, reassure her that mummy will be back in a little while, and try to keep the separations short until she feels more comfortable and build them up gradually.

    Having her paddy for hours until she gets her own way isn't helping any of you and must be exhausting for you and for her. It also sets a bad precedent for discipline in general. Either let her into your bed and have done or start dealing with this in a structured way.

    I do know this is hard, everything is at 2am when you are very tired.
  • May 27, 2010, 03:59 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    You send her back to her room and make sure she knows you are seroius about her staying there. Do not give in, period, she knows she now has you trained well, so that she gets her way.

    I agree allowing her to win her way every time is a bad discipline method that will lead to her doing it more and more to win other battles.
  • May 27, 2010, 05:09 AM
    chatmark
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Buxnbaas View Post
    Try enrolling her in preschool or daycare, after a few days the clingy will subside, because she is meeting new people and friends. May also tire her out more and make her sleep better, reducing chance she ends up in your bed.

    Thank you
  • May 27, 2010, 05:10 AM
    chatmark
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by QLP View Post
    It is a natural part of the sleep cycle to wake at certain times of the night. Mostly we are unaware of these wakenings because they are so brief. Your daughter is waking up and having difficulty getting back to sleep alone. Maybe she is having bad dreams.

    If she gets into the habit of coming into your bed at this point in order to fall back to sleep this is what will feel normal for her. Some parents are happy to allow this on the assumption that the child will grown out of it in time. If you don't want to do this then I suggest you take her back to bed, gently reassure her, and then tell her to go back to sleep. If she is too frightened then sit with her in her room a little while. Gradually increase the distance between you that she needs to make her feel safe. You may need to start by sitting on her bed for example, then on the floor nearby, then in the doorway, then on the landing just outside her room. You will need to do this over a period of several nights. If she comes to your room again repeat. Not easy at 2-4am in the morning I know. Maybe best started when you can schedule it so that you are best able to cope with the tiredness, perhaps when both parents are off work and can support each other best.

    Separation anxiety is normal at this age. Look at how you can make her feel secure during the day and encourage her to feel safe without clinging to mum all the time. Try and explain when you have to be apart, reassure her that mummy will be back in a little while, and try to keep the separations short until she feels more comfortable and build them up gradually.

    Having her paddy for hours until she gets her own way isn't helping any of you and must be exhausting for you and for her. It also sets a bad precedent for discipline in general. Either let her into your bed and have done or start dealing with this in a structured way.

    I do know this is hard, everything is at 2am when you are very tired.

    Thanks a lot I will try all of your advice
  • May 27, 2010, 05:10 AM
    chatmark
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    you send her back to her room and make sure she knows you are seroius about her staying there. Do not give in, period, she knows she now has you trained well, so that she gets her way.

    I agree allowing her to win her way every time is a bad discipline method that will lead to her doing it more and more to win other battles.

    Ok Thanks
  • May 27, 2010, 05:12 AM
    JoeCanada76

    Our son does that, but we have been allowing him to sleep there because of health issues.

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