Ask Me Help Desk - What can we do

Hi I'm 19 and my fincee is 27 he's ex girlfriend who he had 3 kids with refuses to let him see his kids he was suppose to get them every other weekend and pay her 600 a month child support granted he is behinde on child support because of fincial hardships and him not having a job once he moved to nc to be with me she does live in another state but she has also moved and want give us any info such as phone number or address and has told his dad that if he careed about his kids he would send a card or call but how can we if she want let us have contact info? Also she's into drugs real bad and her boyfriend has drug charges against him is there anything we can do to get the kids even though he is behide we have sent word to her threw his dad to let us know what the kids need and she's not working with us. She's and her boyfriend are making close to 8000 a month includeing the kids ss check but they say they can't pay their bills were as we are making only 1000 and takeing care of ourselves. She told he's dad that my fiancée can't see his kids cause they think he's dead and she doesn't want to deal with it and there not allowed to speak of him or she locks them in there room

Go file in court for an hearing to enforce visitations, he has the right to see his children, support doesn't matter.

What you need to do is go back to the court and get an order enforcing the visitation agreement. However, don't be surprised if they require that he bring the child support up to date first. Once he gets that, he has to serve it on the ex. If she still refuses, then he can have her arrested for contempt of court.

Ok then I have one more question if we have proof that we are trying to get his child support caught up even if its not cash but like clothes and gift cards from the grocery store etc can that be counted toward what he owes in child support to her? Can he just start sending what money he can even if its not the exact amount that he owes just so they can see he's trying? Would that help at all?

Showing the court he is making an attempt to provide support should help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ncgirl_21

Hi im 19 and my fincee is 27 hes ex girlfriend who he had 3 kids with refuses to let him see his kids he was suppose to get them every other weekend and pay her 600 a month child support granted he is behinde on child support because of fincial hardships and him not having a job once he moved to nc to be with me she does live in another state but she has also moved and want give us any info such as phone number or address and has told his dad that if he careed about his kids he would send a card or call but how can we if she want let us have contact info? also shes into drugs real bad and her bf has drug charges aganist him is there anything we can do to get the kids even though he is behide we have sent word to her threw his dad to let us know what the kids need and shes not working with us. shes and her bf are makeing close to 8000 a month includeing the kids ss check but they say they can't pay thier bills were as we are making only 1000 and takeing care of our selfs. she told hes dad that my fiancee can't see his kids cause they think hes dead and she doesnt want to deal with it and there not allowed to speak of him or she locks them in there room

Another thing to take in account, in most state, I know in NC, before a parent moves for any reason there must be a 30 day written notice issued before the move. This would include any changes to telephone numbers and the new address. It doesn't have to be written into any order, it's a domestic law when children are involved. If this can be proven, especially if she moved across state lines, she is in contempt right now. Also, if you have absolute proof of her drug use, you can issue, through the courts, a drug testing. This will begin the process of establishing guide lines. You can have your visitation order amended when or if she fails the test that would state that no illegal drugs are to be used during visitation with the child by her or either parent. If, during ,say, a visitation exchange, she appears to be under the influence, you can call the cops right then and there and have her arrested for contempt of court, upon which she will be tested again to determine if she is or not. If found under the influence of any illegal drug, that would be strike two and that much closer to the father obtaining full custody of the children. Make sure you have a copy of the order with you when the cops show up. Cops have no right to inturpret the law, but they are there to inforce the law. The new man's income in the mothers life has no bearing on the support amount, but the mothers does. If she has had pay raises or gotten a higher paying job, you can have the amount of support owed amended based on imcome increases. Good luck

Thanks for all your advice it has been helpful and if anyone else has any suggestions please feel free to tell them to me