OK, I've been with this guy for 2 years, he never holds my hand in public, won't tell me where he lives, is always to busy to see me and refuses to have sex with me.

He tells me he loves me everyday, calls me all the time and is always accussing me of lying and cheatin.

He works long hours so I hardly see him and is in security so has to do odd things at different times. We used to live together and it was exactly the same then, my main concern is the sex though.

He hates me calling it sex first of all it has to be 'make love' he won't let me touch him in that area and he won't talk to me about why he doesn't want to have sex anymore. He shouts at me and says he hates it when I bring it up, or just says he's too tired and goes to bed or runs off home.

My heads is mashed up, he says he loves me and wants to marry me. But he won't have sex and I have needs but he is just neglecting them and focusing only on himself. What can I do, I don't want to leave because I love him. But I don't want to be depressed and frustrated anymore... help please...

You have been together 2 years and don't know where he lives. He is too busy to see you. He accuses you of lying and cheating. But your main concern is the sex?

How come you used to live together but not now?

I have no idea what is going on in this guy's head but his behaviour towards you is hardly healthy for a relationship. You need him to get himself sorted out fast or get rid of him. I think you should tell him to get some counselling or hit the road.

Sorry if that's harsh but you deserve way better than this.

Amazing you have put up with this kind of behavior for so long. Simply amazing, and frankly what's to love? Sorry don't see it, or why you stay.

You need some counseling , or soul searching, or both.

Talaniman Rule- When you allow bad behavior, you will get it.

It doesn't sound like much of a relationship if you don't even know where he lives, refuses to hold your hand after 2 years.

Why on earth do you even want to have sex with him? What if he gets you pregnant, how can you get child support?

Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind is that maybe he's cheating, either on you or with you on someone else. How do you NOT know where he lives?! After 2 years? I'm sorry, but how do you call this a relationship?

It's quite common that when someone accuses you of cheating, they're the ones that actually are.

Does he maybe have a history of any kind abuse from his past? Just a thought.

I think this person has got very serious self-esteem issues, and I was wondering about abuse just like Chris0107 said. His behaviour is particularly odd and points to some kind of deep emotional trauma on his side. I really wouldn't blame yourself for any of this, or feel guilty for leaving him. Because even if bad things have happened to him, that wasn't your fault and you know you deserve better. The poor guy probably could do with some counselling or someone sitting down with him and gently talking to him about his feelings. I really wouldn't pressure him for sex anymore as it's clearly not what he wants and he is most probably dealing with some serious issues inside.

Good luck.

His not wanting to have sex with you is the least of your problem.
This man has issues and you have been enabling them by putting up with them for so long.
Get some counseling yourself (because I cannot imagine why you have put up with this for so long) and leave this guy.
Does he have a wife somewhere?

Wow he has all the tell tell signs of having someone on the side,get smart girl and find someone that will love you back!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lauraisaqt

wow he has all the tell tell signs of having someone on the side,get smart girl and find someone that will love you back!!!

---

This thread is really old and the original poster never returned. Please check the dates before posting.