I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 22, we have been together for 8 months and we're very much in love. We only have one problem, my boyfriend never wants to have sex. During the first 2 months of our relationship our sex life was very healthy, then things changed and he's just not interested anymore.
He still very intimate and like to kiss, cuddle and sleep close to me, but when the subject of sex comes up he gets moody.
First he said it was because he wanted to make sure our relationship wasn't just about sex, then he used the excuse that he was tired, and now he just says that he never feels like it. When I ask him if he's always had a low sex drive he says he hasn't, but won't go any further with me to try and sort the problem out.
I feel like this is driving a wedge between us and I need help...

Do you live together? I think you should pay attention to what he has told you about his concerns about where this relationship is headed. Is it real or not? Is it about just fun and games or is there a real future? That seems to be concern that you are not addressing, is my guess.

Is this a lack of in depth communications between you? I suspect so.He obviously has different things on his mind than you do.

Make love to the mind, and the body usually follows, and that takes a lot of talking and listening.

After only 8 months, I would say the honeymoon is over, and the work is just starting.

Has he had a check-up lately? Does he drink or do drugs?

At 22 year old, he should be all over you.

There are so many possibilities out there. He may have physical problems, he may be gay, he may be overworked or stressed out, he may not want to be in the relationship, he may have psychological problems, he may be drinking too much, or he may be watching porn and taking care of himself.

You could suggest he see a doctor just to make sure he's physically OK. If he is physically okay, it's going to be tough for you. Such relationships do not tend to improve, If a guy doesn't exhibit much libido early on (especially in his twenties), it's unlikely he will do so after years together.

If you're really in a serious relationship, you may have to decide whether you can go through life with little to no sex. Much depends on what the rest of the relationship is like.

If you happen to think about marrying him, just remember that a lifetime is a long time to be with someone who wants no or considerably less sex than you do. So please think carefully before you make this relationship more permanent.

You need to get him to open up because it could be so many different problems. Being tired, stressed or overworked are just the beginning

A couple friends (male) mentioned that after a while with the same person, when the novelty of sex wears out, they are not as excited about sleeping with the girl as they were at the beginning. Some stick around anyway, for years even, because of love, shared interests, whatever. But, they are not as eager about sex with their girlfriend as men are said to be.
Seeing how many questions women ask about "boyfriend not wanting sex", I suppose they must have a point.
And whereas it's not valid for ALL men, it is the case for some.

However, 8 months is such a short time. Maybe it's a sign that the relationship isn't working.

I have a question " do you wait around for him to make the first move or do you make the first move towards sex?"

Have you two been tested together. A friend of mine was dating a guy for 7 months and they were never able to have sex. He'd go down on her and they'd make out but he would never touch him. After days of questioning he admitted to her he had herpes.

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Originally Posted by DaisyBoo

I have a question " do you wait around for him to make the first move or do you make the first move towards sex?"

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No, 9 times out of 10 I make the first move, and out of those 9 times I get rejected about 5 or 6, its obviously not doing much for myself esteme.
I love him so much, and there is so much more to our relationship than sex, but I feel this problem is more important to me than it is to him.
He works very hard, long days and some weeks he works 7 days a week so I understand that this may have something to do with it.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Do you live together? I think you should pay attention to what he has told you about his concerns about where this relationship is headed. Is it real or not? Is it about just fun and games or is there a real future? That seems to be concern that you are not addressing, is my guess.

Is this a lack of in depth communications between you? I suspect so.He obviously has different things on his mind than you do.

Make love to the mind, and the body usually follows, and that takes a lot of talking and listening.

After only 8 months, I would say the honeymoon is over, and the work is just starting.

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Yes we do live together, we moved in quite quickly. I would say its definitely real and our relationship is about so much more than just sex. I have tried talking to him again and he has opened up a little more, he says that he's tired and stressed out as he works very long hours, and he has lost his sex drive, he says its nothing to do with me, but I find this a little hard to believe.

I see a relationship that's going nowhere very fast.

Expecting that he will make a 180 degree U-turn in sex drive isn't realistic... and you will find is a huge waste of your life waiting. Eventually yo will find yourself in your 30's or 40's... he gets even worse... and your youth is gone. And much of your chances to have a child with it.

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Originally Posted by SkinyBisPreg

Have you two been tested together. A friend of mine was dating a guy for 7 months and they were never able to have sex. He'd go down on her and they'd make out but he would never touch him. After days of questioning he admited to her he had herpes.

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And he doesn't think he can pass herpes by having oral sex with her? And she doesn't think so, either?

SURPRISE!

Got to say I totally know where your coming from I just posted something very similar. Its difficult being in this situation. Does he at least give you foreplay? I don't get foreplay at all either.

Does he by any chance have erectile dysfunction? I mean he cuddles and kisses with you. I would figure if it was him not wanting to be with you he wouldn't do that. Maybe he has an STD.