How to quit when you don't even want to.
Hello,
Today was one of the most difficult days since I can remember. I went all day without a single cigarette. For about 7 years, I have smoke roughly 10 cigarettes a day. I'm 22 now, and I can't seem to ignore all the horrible things smoking brings you.
Today was my first day quitting cold turkey, and I must say that I'm proud of myself. A big concern however, is that I keep finding myself rationalizing, and hearing a voice that says "Well if you only smoke 3 cigarettes a day, it will reduce your chance of smoking related death by more than half!" My problem is that I start to believe it, and question quitting. I start to think "why quit all together when I enjoy smoking as much as I do?". Because in the end, quitting is the LAST thing I want to do.
I also have an electronic cigarette that delivers nicotine without the smoke and chemicals. My friend has used it to stop smoking, and has been smoke free for months. This would be great, but I can't seem to bring myself to use it, for I would still be addicted to nicotine, and THAT'S what I'm trying to break.
In the end, I do believe in myself, but I'm most embarrassed to admit, that another part of my struggle is that a lot of celebrities that I look up to like Jack White, and Robert Downey Jr. both smoke. I know it's foolish, and I'm embarrassed to even type it. But if I'm honest with myself, it makes it extremely hard to think that they're (Seemingly) fine smoking, why can't I too?
I'd appreciate any advice anyone has on my struggle here, or anything you might think would help me. Thank you of course!