Moved to its own thread.

When I try talking it out with my girl she gets mad about it.. how can I get past something that she won't talk about with me. Unfortunately my girl is having my baby and I'm proud of that,but still her past bothers me.. Idk how to get over it I try not to think about it.. I stay and a small town so it's like everyone knows about her past and who she use to be.. When I mention who my girl is to people who didn't know I was having a baby by her they know who I'm talking about from remembering o she slept with this person and that person. I don't want to leave her I love her a hell of a lot but I just can't get over her past.. it's also like I can't even joke about her with things because it's always true and it pisses me off.. Personally I've been with a lot of females,but it's different from guys and females I don't know why a female would even put herself out like that. If a guy does he's just being a guy but a female becomes a hoe slut , etc. So I don't know what to do someone help me.

Guys can be hoes and sluts too.

When you get with someone, you are with who they are at that point in their life. You cannot go back and change the past. You really don't have any right to hold it against her for what she did before YOU came into the picture.

Not to mention the fact that you were wild too. You can't have it both ways.

The biggest $lut I've ever known was me. Before I got married at 36, I was loose by any standard. But my wife knows that, and is cool with it. As long as I'm not cheating NOW. She doesn't ask, and I don't bring it up. It works. Try it.

You will ruin the future by dwelling on the past.

And in your post, you said "unfortunately" you were having a child, and then you said you were "proud". You're going to be a daddy soon. Be proud of your child, and always do right by it's mother.

Congratulations.

I can't condone her behaviour... but for you to have the audacity to say it's different for guys and gals, why because some guys don't care what they lay down with as long as she"s able and ready and willing? Anyway you slice it fellow it's wrong. What planet are you living on? Payback (pardon my language) is hell.:mad: Since you're such a stud muffin (NOT) you should be able to find one of those willing women.
You don't deserve a woman who is nice. You say you have had sex with lots of women? Were they conscious? I feel so sorry for that unborn child and her mother.
As for the people in your town, "they who art without sin cast the first stone"

Text speak is not allowed. If you can please use complete words.

I'm going to be really blunt. You seem to be calling your girlfriend a slut in so many words. You act like she's done something terribly wrong, but it wasn't wrong of you to act like a man-whore or Casanova. I guess that's still part of the outdated “a woman is a slut, but a man is a stud” attitude.

Is she bothered about your past? Seriously, you need to get over it, you BOTH have a past and that's where it should stay. Everyone has past relationships, and everyone has to deal with them. It would be hard to find someone who doesn't have a past relationship. You will have to deal with this no matter who you date.

Love your girlfriend for who she is today and quit questioning her. From what you said she seems like a great girlfriend so try to be happy.

If you can't get over it and prefer to dwell on it, I would suggest you move on.

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Originally Posted by ejaquez20

jmjoseph i got the same problem exep she wont stop bringing my past and she says she want to do the same thing i did so that we can be the same. the thing is that i used to be a happy guy as you know what i mean !! and i cheated on her a couple of times and she found out but the thing is that i stop because i love her and i want to be good but i caught her talking to guys texting with them and sending them pictures of her and sweet talking what can i do in this case????

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Clearly the two of you are too young and immature to have an adult relationship based on trust and respect.
Be co parents and concentrate your efforts on how you are going to do that with maturity and respect.
Your relationship sounds doomed at this stage because you are both acting like children.

First some friendly advice: Please use full words. Text speak (coz, about, y, what, u, etc.) is not allowed and can get a post or even a thread deleted or closed. I would not like to see that happen.

ejaquez20, if you would like help for your situation, please start your own thread. That way we can give you advice that is tailored to your situation.
This has been done. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...st-473643.html - T

Cortney_T, did you know about her 'past' before you became involved with her? How long have you been involved with her? Why did you become involved with her in the first place?

Why does she have to talk to you about her past? How does that help you?

What do you really want? Do you want her to beg forgiveness because she has a past? Do you want her to promise never to look at another man as long as she lives? Do you want her to get fed up with your attitude and accept you as the father of her child but kick you to the curb as her lover?

If you think the rumors of her past relationships are bad, think about what she gets to hear as her pregnancy becomes more noticeable. Are you willing to stand beside her or are you one of the people attempting to make her feel bad about herself?

If you have as wild a past as she does, does she get to hear about your conquests when she goes to the store? Does she accept that you have a past or is she just as upset about yours as you are about hers? Does she demand details of your past to 'help' her get over what you have done?

And once again, a baby is born into this mess.

Are you even sure the baby is yours?

Do the two of you live together? Do you both work, and how are you preparing to bring a baby into this world while there is such a wide rift and so much immaturity on both your sides, to be responsible enough to raise a child together.

You can't get over her past, and I can't get over your past. Having multiple, meaningless sex partners, and then pointing the finger at her past as being somewhere below a gutter snake, makes me wonder if you are playing with a full deck here.

Do you see the double standard here?

There is no past to base a relationship on, when that baby arrives. Your playboy days are over, whether her livestyle with multiple men is or not. That is up to her, and I'm making the leap here that all that you worry about centers around an innocent child.

Regardless of what she does, you have a 50% responsibility at least, in making sure that the needs of that baby are taken care of- financially, emotionally, psychologically and physically. If your girlfriend wants to keep doing the single thing, the baby still must come first.

You cannot change your girlfriend, but you can change yourself, and step up and do what you need to do to make sure the baby you created (I presume) is the only priority in your life.

A little scary isn't it, to think you are going to be responsible for another human beings' every single need for a few decades to come. Rather makes your opinion of who's worse, you or her, as far as your pasts, a moot point don't you think?

I wish I had a boyfriend that "loves" me, yet doesn't have enough respect for me to view me as a human being, but a slut, & be embarrassed when people know he's dating me, and I'm carrying his child.

What would make our relationship even MORE perfect is if he made jokes about all the mistakes I've made in the past, so neither of us could look towards the future.

*sigh*
Man, what I wouldn't give.



P.S. You're a manwhore.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Torrid13

I wish I had a boyfriend that "loves" me, yet doesn't have enough respect for me to view me as a human being, but a slut, & be embarassed when people know he's dating me, and I'm carrying his child.

What would make our relationship even MORE perfect is if he made jokes about all the mistakes I've made in the past, so neither of us could look towards the future.

*sigh*
Man, what I wouldn't give.



P.S. You're a manwhore.

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I don't think he'll be back.. He couldn't take the heat in the kitchen... :eek: