I just turned 23, and started going back to my local community college. To do this, I had to move in with my parents so I could afford it. My mom wants me to be a nurse, and I am interested in the medical field, but the wait list to even get into the nursing program is over 3 years after your pre-req's are completed.
I have always been really interested in fashion design ( I used to make barbie clothes when I was little). It's a short, 1 year program that I thought would be something I would be really good at. So I signed up for the classes.

I was scared to tell my mom because she is only supportive in 'realistic' careers. I know that I am not going to be a top fashion Designer... but there are a lot of design teams you can be on.. anyway, I told her I wanted to do it while waiting for my nursing spot to open...

And if I love fashion design and have a good job I won't even bother with the nursing, but if I don't, I will have something to fall back on.

It really hurts that she won't support me on something I want to do, especially since we are really close.

How do I get her to understand that its my life, and I want to do something that makes me happy? I have lived out on my own for years, and I know how tough it can be out there.. I understand that I will probably get a better job in nursing than in the fashion industry. Help. Im heartbroken..

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Originally Posted by h_leann_b

And if I love fashion design and have a good job I wont even bother with the nursing, but if i dont, i will have something to fall back on.

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That's the beauty of being young -- you can do so many different things and they all can be good. I've been a teacher and tutor, a librarian, a counselor, a writer, have worked in two hospitals, a bookstore, two drugstores, an insurance claims office. The more education and life experience you pick up, the more choices you will have.

I say, take the pre-reqs, get the fashion creds, see what comes of that, and you can always pick up a medical certification or degree of some kind a course at a time and through online classes. You are not limited to one career for the rest of your life.

Just tell her exactly what you told us, she doesn't have to like it, but if she wants to be in thenursing field so badly then maybe SHE should take the classes. You're doing what suits you.
It really bothers me when people say that you're doing things wrong, when there really is no wrong way to do certain things. Doing things your own way is the right way, and if there was one wrong way to go about this, it would be to do what makes others happy and not yourself.

You are in need of a good talk to your mom.

If she is willing to support you in her home while a spot comes up for nursing, then I don't see why you don't take courses in the meantime.

But, if you are pretty sure that nursing is something you don't want to do, then prolonging the inevitable is going to cause trouble.

Your best bet is to tell her exactly what you have said here. That you aren't 100% sure of a nursing degree- yet, but you want to do the 10 month course while you make up your mind.

That may solve some questions right there. You will know soon enough if your 10 month certificate will be enough to support yourself on, and what the odds are of finding work in that field.

Mom has a right to her opinion, you just don't have to agree or follow it. Being a adult means being able to tell her no sometimes.

But also remember, as with my kids, some parents have a rule, my house, my rule, so if she is paying some or all of your bills and you are living at her house, she does have a right to have more imput than if you were paying your own way.

Thanks everyone. I talked to my dad about it and he's pretty supportive about me doing what I want. So at least I have one parent who wants me to be happy.

And I would understand her dismay if she was paying for school or other bills but I work parttime and pay for everything. They do provide a roof over my head but my dad says as long as I am not messy then I can stay as long as I want while I am in school.

It's just a crappy situation with her. I kind of feel like me and my brother are for show. And she doesn't want to look bad.

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Originally Posted by h_leann_b

Thanks everyone. I talked to my dad about it and he's pretty supportive about me doing what I want. So at least I have one parent who wants me to be happy.

And I would understand her dismay if she was paying for school or other bills but I work parttime and pay for everything. They do provide a roof over my head but my dad says as long as I am not messy then I can stay as long as I want while I am in school.

It's just a crappy situation with her. I kind of feel like me and my brother are for show. And she doesn't want to look bad.

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A lot of parents have that complex where they want their children to do what THEY want them to do because it is stable and makes money. Honestly, you can make enough money in most career fields if you work hard enough. Just tell your mother that you appreciate her concern, but you will bee just fine. You know what you're doing. :)

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Honestly, you can make enough money in most career fields if you work hard enough.

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Working hard is not the solution for making money in Libraryland. Being full-time (and not part-time) MIGHT get you a decent paycheck. Having something better than a h.s. diploma will help. Working hard will not get you health insurance, for instance, which is a very important thing to have and available usually only if you are full-time.