I was developing a new relationship for about 2 months and suddenly she decided to ended because she was feeling "overwhelmed"... I don't know what to think. At first, she did everything to make me go out with her... then, she doesn't know...

She was in a prevoius relantionship for a year "on and off" and the reason she ended that one was because she did not fall in love. We began dating a week before she call it quits with the ex.

She had the "drive" but not anymore. She likes to remain friends with all of her ex's... to a point of talking on the phone, go to dinner, etc... she says its fine because she doesn't feel anything for them right now. Its hard for me to imagine that but...

Now, she told me that she needed space to be "with herself" because she has never been alone, and that she needed to "clean up her house" and get things in order to get inside another relationship.

Can you advice?

I was VERY GOOD in this relationship and ALWAYS there for her...

Thank you very much.

It sounds like she has been looking for something in relationships with other people that she can only find in herself. She is correct that she needs to get to know herself and like herself before she contemplates getting into a new relationship with anyone.

I am sorry that you have been pulled into her drama and I hope you take this a life lesson. There were red flags on this relationship from the beginning. She was in a revolving door relationship with her last partner. She cheated on her ex for a week before she left the ex for you. She has a need to stay friends with all of her exes. She 'doesn't feel anything for them' seems to be a major refrain in her love life. I wonder if she feels anything for herself.

From what you have written this relationship didn't fail because anything you did or didn't do. It failed because she isn't ready for a relationship, yet. Let her go. Allow yourself to heal and when you are ready, you will find someone ready to build a relationship with you.

Thank you very much for your answer... I really appreciate it. You are so right. Thanks you again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by penelope123

Thank you very much for your answer...i really appreciate it. You are so right. Thanks you again.

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You're welcome and good luck.

CAT1864 said it all.
You have gotten sound advice

Sorry for your loss, but you were her rebound, a safe place to go to get over her ex. A willing rebound at that, as I bet you were tickle pink when she dumped her boyfriend to be with you.

Mission accomplished, you helped her through a hard time and when she was ready for life, she left you.

Take it as a lesson learned, and save all that good stuff you wanted with her for someone that appreciates and deserves it.

So she's still friends with all her exes--this bothers you. She doesn't want to be with you--this bothers you. You'd be bothered either way. The lifestyles don't seem to mesh. Sounds like its time to move on. You didn't lose 2 years, just two months. Be thankful, learn from your experience and find someone that is more compatible.

Don't let yourself be taken in by her again, if this "new relationship" doesn't work out.

Give yourself a whole lot of time before you get involved again. Being alone is not the worst thing in the world.

Find some of your old friend and start talking and seeing them again. I'm sorry you're hurting, but I think you are way better off finding out now!

Blessings... Kit

Well.. of course it bothers me that the "past" is still in the "present"... she just can't say anything to the ex (that she was getting to know someone else)because as she said: "was a wonderful person and does not want to make any more suffering". Whatev's! She says that she likes to get along with everyone she ever shared something because they were part of her life at one moment in time...
I think that anybody who wants to be in a new relationship has to respect the "new relationship" by cutting with the past... at least for the first 6-7 months of the relationship... because you will never build any trust... dont you think?
We broke up on Friday night.. have not speak to her since... she JUST call me an hour ago but have not answer... I think I will not answer anymore...

Thoughts?

Thank all of you for the SUPPORT. :-)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by penelope123

Well..of course it bothers me that the "past" is still in the "present"...she just can't say anything to the ex (that she was getting to know someone else)because as she said: "was a wonderful person and does not want to make any more suffering". Whatev's! She says that she likes to get along with everyone she ever shared something because they were part of her life at one moment in time...
I think that anybody who wants to be in a new relationship has to respect the "new relationship" by cutting with the past...at least for the first 6-7 months of the relationship...because you will never build any trust...dont you think?
We broke up on Friday night..have not speak to her since...she JUST call me an hour ago but have not answer...i think I will not answer anymore...

Thoughts?

Thank all of you for the SUPPORT. :-)

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Good for you! I agree totally on your comment about breaking with the past before starting a new relationship. No you can't build trust when she has treated you so badly. It's cruel of her to have done it the way she did. Good Luck and keep us posted... Kit:)

Hello to ALL!
Thanks for everything :-) Just to leep you posted, nothing new... just as I said before, she called me Monday but I did not pick up and she did not left any message or text and that's weird because she always does. I was thinking these past couple of days and I thought that it is worse not to return a call because that means "that i care more than i dont care".. dont you think?? So today, I called her just to return the call but she did not pick it and have not answer me back. That was this morning. Now I feel like: "why did I ever call"?? I know she was going to call someday again if I did not pick up the phone the first time.. but I got impatient. EXPERTS.. what do you think? It was my bad to return the call 3 days later? I will definitely not call again! I know how everything sounds.. but I know she is not a bad person, I know for a fact that she is a great friend to a lot of people and is always there to everybody, but I also know that you can be a great friend but not a great partner.. at least not with everybody. Additional info I can tell:she got divorce in 2005 after 12yrs,got into a 3 month relationship,then another for about 4 months that she fell in love with (but did not know it at the time),then another for 3 years-broke up because it didn't work out and fell out of love (never told the person that she loved them), then go out again with the person of the 4 months (in and out) but did not work out, and now with the one for 1 year and later me... and you know my story :-(

What do you think it will mostly happen? Based on your expertise. I want her to regret it! Do you think she will regret it? I sure I will not come back when that happens, if it happens...

THOUGHTS? Thanks for being there.. I really wanted to talk...

Hello to ALL!
Thanks for everything :-) Just to leep you posted, nothing new... just as I said before, she called me Monday but I did not pick up and she did not left any message or text and that's weird because she always does. I was thinking these past couple of days and I thought that it is worse not to return a call because that means "that i care more than i dont care".. dont you think?? So today, I called her just to return the call but she did not pick it and have not answer me back. That was this morning. Now I feel like: "why did I ever call"?? I know she was going to call someday again if I did not pick up the phone the first time.. but I got impatient. EXPERTS.. what do you think? It was my bad to return the call 3 days later? I will definitely not call again! I know how everything sounds.. but I know she is not a bad person, I know for a fact that she is a great friend to a lot of people and is always there to everybody, but I also know that you can be a great friend but not a great partner.. at least not with everybody. Additional info I can tell:she got divorce in 2005 after 12yrs,got into a 3 month relationship,then another for about 4 months that she fell in love with (but did not know it at the time),then another for 3 years-broke up because it didn't work out and fell out of love (never told the person that she loved them), then go out again with the person of the 4 months (in and out) but did not work out, and now with the one for 1 year and later me... and you know my story :-(

What do you think it will mostly happen? Based on your expertise. I want her to regret it! Do you think she will regret it? I sure I will not come back when that happens, if it happens...

THOUGHTS? Thanks for being there.. I really wanted to talk...

Hello to ALL!
Thanks for everything :-) Just to leep you posted, nothing new... just as I said before, she called me Monday but I did not pick up and she did not left any message or text and that's weird because she always does. I was thinking these past couple of days and I thought that it is worse not to return a call because that means "that i care more than i dont care".. dont you think?? So today, I called her just to return the call but she did not pick it and have not answer me back. That was this morning. Now I feel like: "why did I ever call"?? I know she was going to call someday again if I did not pick up the phone the first time.. but I got impatient. EXPERTS.. what do you think? It was my bad to return the call 3 days later? I will definitely not call again! I know how everything sounds.. but I know she is not a bad person, I know for a fact that she is a great friend to a lot of people and is always there to everybody, but I also know that you can be a great friend but not a great partner.. at least not with everybody. Additional info I can tell:she got divorce in 2005 after 12yrs,got into a 3 month relationship,then another for about 4 months that she fell in love with (but did not know it at the time),then another for 3 years-broke up because it didn't work out and fell out of love (never told the person that she loved them), then go out again with the person of the 4 months (in and out) but did not work out, and now with the one for 1 year and later me... and you know my story :-(

What do you think it will mostly happen? Based on your expertise. I want her to regret it! Do you think she will regret it? I sure I will not come back when that happens, if it happens...

THOUGHTS? Thanks for being there.. I really wanted to talk...

Your problem is, you want her to regret leaving you more than you want to forget her.
NC is not about making her regret leaving you, it is so you can get over her.
Leave this alone.
You have seen her pattern with men, so why do you think she is going to regret leaving you?
I hate to be cruel, but get over it and move on. This was a short lived relationship that she was probably in no emotional position to be in anyway.
Walk away from this.