I don't know where to post this
This is about my past relationship and I just want to know if I was emotionally abused or am I an obsessive relationship type person. It all started in 1998; I had met the "man of my dreams". So I thought. Here is the rundown:
We move in together, he accuses me of having an affair with the bill collector; which I didn't; he gets caller ID and hides it from me; he shows up when I am out with my friends after he tells me he doesn't want to go; then it progressively gets worse; he tries to keep my from my friends and family; we split in 2002 for three months, during those 3 months he tells me he loves me, misses me, blah blah blah, and I catch him in bed with some girl. I was pregnant at the time and ended up having a DNC done. He didn't come to the hospital. He even denied it was his. I was done; quit calling, everything. A few weeks go by and he begs for my forgiveness after he supposedly "kicked the other girl to the curb". We get back together and I move back in. I could never do anything right, the house was never clean enough, my job wasn't good enough, I didn't love him enough, one minute. The next I am the woman he loves most in this world. We agreed to split up again in November of 04. He came to me in December and told me he didn't have enough money for rent and would I let him stay until the first of the year. Of course I said yes, I love him and was still hoping things would work, I asked him to do things with me, spend the holidays with me and my family. He said no. But he went to his families and never asked me. He usually doesn't go to his families. Well January comes and he moves out, he wasn't saving money for rent he was waiting on the paperwork for the house he bought to go through. I never even knew about it. Yes I am bitter about it. We are still seeing each other after he moves. He is seeing all kinds of woman from 19 to 55. I am seeing nobody. But am accused of sleeping with everybody. I finally am tired of it and try to forget him. I meet somebody new. The ex kicks in my back door the first time this guy is at my house. Was he stalking me? How did he know? I asked the new guy to leave and told the ex to either let me go or be with me and me alone. He does neither. He keeps screwing with my heart and my head. One minute its this the next minute it is that. He has constantly been with someone else since he has moved out. But was still telling me he loved me and missed me. Kept telling me they where just "friends". I included him with me and the new friends I have made, he told me that if I was good then I could hang out with him and his friends at sometime. It never happened. I was only good enough to see when he wanted to "get something". He blamed me for everything. Fast forward to present. He actually got a girlfriend in July of 06 and I left him alone. 3 weeks after he tells me this, he calls me up and tells me he is done lying, sneaking, etc. etc etc. Never an apology. Just found out last week he started seeing this girl again and they had been intimate while he and I were. He has broken into my house numerous times and scared the crap out of me while I was in bed. I assume to catch me with someone, but he never has. Because I wasn't doing anything. I confronted him about this person he has been seeing and he says he isn't doing anything wrong that its my fault he slept with her, its my fault we argue. I even contacted her. She said she left him, that he didn't leave her like he said. She also stated that he has never "given up on her". How could I be so stupid? I have since changed my numbers. I am afraid he is going to come into my house again and I will find him standing over my bed. I am scared that if he does come back I will let him, I am depressed, I feel unworthy, it's hard for me to get up and go to work. Was everything my fault, maybe I deserved it all. Why won't he just let me go if he doesn't want to be with me? If he can be happy with her, then I wish that for him, because that is all I want for myself and him.
