We're back together - but I have some issues...
So he broke it off with me after 2 years, because he said he just wasn't feeling the same. I took it hard and for months pined over him, let him be my "friends with benefits" because I thought it would win him back. It just pushed him away more.
Anyway, one day I woke up and I was just sick and tired of this bull. So I decided to unexpectedly show up to his apartment and cut all ties. I went there and found him with his CLOSEST FEMALE FRIEND in BED, naked.
It was the worst experience of my life, I felt like I was in a nightmare and my heart jumped out of my chest and literally broke. I was in tears. She left immediately but not easily, trying to coax me out of the apartment to "talk" to me, but I knew she just wanted me to leave with her.
I threatened some things, even taking my own life, to get the image of them out of my head, it was horrible. I had never trusted her during the relationship and all my worst fears had finally culminated and I felt sick. She is gorgeous, a model.. . How could any guy resist her? We had many fights over her previously because he would always say he has nothing for and she's hardly as attractive as me.
That day, I asked if she was more attractive to me, and he replied "You guys are equal..."
The day was horrible, I was in such an emotional mess, I wanted to end it all and I tried, only with them showing up at my place and her claiming she doesn't like him and only slept with him to see if she had any feelings. She wasn't lying. Him, on the other hand, said he did think he liked her.
Fast forward two months. After seeing me such a mess, she promises not to move forward with whatever happened that night, and truly claims she does not have feelings. I believe her. Why? Because she started falling head over heels for someone else.
He started saying that he was just confused especially with the fact that she was the only important girl to him AFTER me, and he confused that with romantic feelings.
Needless to say, I cut him out of my life, stopped talking to him completely.
4 months later, he messages me telling me he misses me and wants to meet up. He apologizes for everything, asks for another chance. I tell him that he needs to rebuild trust with me before anything and he agrees to this and I tell him he needs to prove himself worthy. He acknowledges it will take effort.
She is still in his life. Every time I know she might be at a party he's attending or anthing, I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do. I was insecure in our relationship BEFORE and we would fight endlessly over her and it pushed him away. But it's different now... I'm afraid the moment she doesn't have a boyfriend or gets lonely, and gives him more attention he will give in... after being rejected by her.
Is it possible he has no feelings for her? I'm just so tired of this feeling. He's seen her naked. I just can't get that image out of my head. How do I bring this up with him without being insecure? I'm so sick of felling this way... IDK if he's even worth it anymore...