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-   -   16 dating a 13 year old (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=471474)

  • May 17, 2010, 09:59 PM
    Pride4578
    16 dating a 13 year old
    OK here it goes I am 16 years old and this 13 year old girl asked me out and I said yes what do I do I don't want to hurt her she's so young and I didn't know she was 13 until 2 min after she looked my age any advice??
  • May 17, 2010, 10:04 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Pride4578 View Post
    ok here it goes i am 16 years old and this 13 year old girl asked me out and i said yes what do i do i dont want to hurt her shes so young and i didnt know she was 13 until 2 min after she looked my age any advice????

    Does she have parents, and do they know what she's up to?

    I suggest you gently decline the date, in light of finding out how young she is.
  • May 17, 2010, 10:05 PM
    Pride4578

    Yes she has parents but I'm not suure they know she's a nice girl and id hate to break her heart


    I understand what you are saying I'm not just trying to move around the whole thing
  • May 17, 2010, 10:11 PM
    Clough
    Hi, Pride4578!

    Do you know her parents at all?

    Thanks!
  • May 17, 2010, 10:15 PM
    Pride4578

    Hello
    No I don't know her parents never met them
  • May 17, 2010, 10:23 PM
    Clough
    You're several years older than her. She realizes that. Also, the age difference at those particular ages would not be a wise choice for either of you to make, and that would be for you to be dating each other. As Wondergirl has suggested,
    Quote:

    I suggest you gently decline the date...
    Declining in a polite way really does seem to be the best thing to do. You can do that without causing her to feel guilty because she is the age that she is.
  • May 17, 2010, 11:19 PM
    Alty

    You could just tell her that you really like her but you never date someone that much younger then you. Let her know that it's not her, it's just a policy you have and that you would love to go out with her if she was 16, but since she's not, it's no go.

    Either way she'll be a bit hurt, whether you go out with her or don't, because obviously you don't want to date her.

    Sooner or later you're going to have to tell her that you're not interested. Better sooner, it will lessen the blow.
  • May 17, 2010, 11:25 PM
    Clough
    Excellent post, Alty!

    I agree, that it would be better to tell her sooner than later.

    (Couldn't spread the "love" to you so soon!)
  • May 18, 2010, 01:39 AM
    Jake2008
    Something else to think about.

    If her parents were unaware of her interest in you, and found out after the fact, she could say things like you threatened her not to tell her parents, or that she felt afraid or pressured by you. All kinds of things can come out of the mouths of 13 year olds to cover themselves.

    She could also tell you that she's allowed out until such and such a time, and her parents might be frantic wondering where she is when she doesn't show.

    Just trouble all the way around.

    Be very clear with her, and when you have told her it isn't going to work, don't respond to any email or notes on Facebook etc.

    Good luck.
  • May 18, 2010, 03:57 AM
    ScottGem

    Alty's advice was great! I would add to tell your parents about it so they know.

    While it might sting a bit, if you take the position Alty outlined, you won't break her heart.
  • May 18, 2010, 04:45 AM
    Pride4578
    Thank you guys you have been very helpful in this manner I ill not go out with her I will simply decline but in the mean time stay just friends thank you guys
  • May 18, 2010, 04:47 AM
    Pride4578

    Thank you guys you have been very helpful to me on this situation I will decline the date and remain friends with her
    Thank you

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