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-   -   I love my friend's boyfriend but they're in love (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=471429)

  • May 17, 2010, 05:10 PM
    adiggs1
    I love my friend's boyfriend but they're in love
    See I have a friend (but were not very close at all) and she had this boyfriend she broke up with. She said she was over him but turns out she only went out with other boys to use them and make her ex jealous. He did the same and used me and they finally got back together. But you see even after he lied to me and made me despise myself for days I still love him. When I see him a smile and blush and when he's not there I miss him. Whenever he insults me my heart feels like there's a dent in it but I love him so badly and want to make him happy. But he's in love with her and she's in love with him. They even cuddle each other. But when I finally told my friend she acted like I only had a crush even though it was so much more. She even gloated about how much she loved him even though she knew it hurt me to hear her say how much he cares for her and forgets me. What should I do? Even though she's a friends I love the boy so much. Everyday the feelings get worse and I'm even finding myself crying. How do I deal with this?
  • May 17, 2010, 05:19 PM
    Kitkat22

    Sweetie.. There is nothing you can do. He loves someone else. Stop
    Torturing yourself and move on. There are a lot of classy guys out there. Blessings
  • May 17, 2010, 06:48 PM
    talaniman

    You need some friends very badly. I mean real friends to slap you up side your head when you have goofy thoughts like that. You have to know how crazy it is to love someone who humiliates and uses you. Please say you know that?
  • May 17, 2010, 06:55 PM
    LexieLovesHim

    That's not a good friend... or a good boyfriend, matter of fact. See, when you're older and past college, most people rarely keep in touch with old friends. So why bother trying to talk to someone that's mean to you and doesn't understand?
    And this guy, I 've been in situations where I love this guy but all he says to me is negetive things...
    It depends on how long you've gone out with him for. You can't truly love someone in a month... but I understand if you went out with him for like 6 months.
    Now think back to when you and this guy were going out. All his feelings or confessions to love for you was fake. A complete lie. He used you and only cared about winning your friend back.
    You seem like a nice girl. You can find someone better who can treat you right, so good luck to you.
  • May 17, 2010, 07:11 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LexieLovesHim View Post
    thats not a good friend...or a good boyfriend, matter of fact. See, when you're older and past college, most people rarely keep in touch with old friends. so why bother trying to talk to someone thats mean to you and doesnt understand?
    And this guy, i 've been in situations where i love this guy but all he says to me is negetive things...
    it depends on how long you've gone out with him for. You can't truly love someone in a month...but i understand if you went out with him for like 6 months.
    Now think back to when you and this guy were going out. All his feelings or confessions to love for you was fake. a complete lie. he used you and only cared about winning your friend back.
    You seem like a nice girl. You can find someone better who can treat you right, so good luck to you.



    Start liking yourself, then you will see you are special and there is someone for you. He will appreciate you for what you are. You have to like yourself to realize this guy and your "friend" deserve each other. You deserve more.
  • May 18, 2010, 07:27 AM
    I wish
    Have some self-esteem.

    Have some self-respect.

    Don't settle for someone who disrepects you.

    Find new friends.
  • May 18, 2010, 08:10 AM
    jmjoseph

    How old are you all please?
  • May 22, 2010, 07:24 PM
    adiggs1
    Am I sinning?
    Threads merged


    You see I'm not really jealous of this girl because of what has such as make-up or looks but because she has a boy I like. I'm not jealous because she has him its because I want him and can't have him but she does. Is this a sin because I don't know whether the Bible speaks of this kind of jealousy as a sin or not?
  • May 22, 2010, 07:25 PM
    adiggs1
    Quote:
    How old are you all please?

    We're around 12.
  • May 22, 2010, 07:37 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by adiggs1 View Post
    We're around 12.



    You both are twelve years old? Sweetie it's absoluetly not all right to get so involved with a boy at your age. How is the world do your parents feel about this?

    You shouldn't even be thinking about a boy at your age, let alone a relationship with him. Do you read anything at all about teenage dating?
    I shudder to think what would happen if you did go on a date with this
    Guy. Get over it! You are too young and so is your friend. You'll have plenty of time when you're in High School to think about dating.

    You need to concentrate on being twelve and don't try to grow up to fast. How old is the guy? Be sensible and enjoy being a little girl. Don't ditch a friend for a guy. He probably knows both of you are way to young .

    As for the cuddling, that is So against the rules in school. Any cuddling and kissing and anything else is against school policy. If you do that or your friend does that, both of you could very well end up getting suspended.
  • May 22, 2010, 07:42 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by adiggs1 View Post
    You see I'm not really jealous of this girl because of what has such as make-up or looks but because she has a boy I like. I'm not jealous becuase she has him its because I want him and can't have him but she does. Is this a sin because I don't know whether the Bible speaks of this kind of jealousy as a sin or not?
    It's not jealousy. It's called envy.

    There is nothing wrong with it if you don't cause them trouble or hate either of them or even yourself because of it. The envy will be a good thing if you start taking care of yourself better (good food, care of your skin/eyes/teeth, improving your brain by doing homework and getting good marks) and smiling more and being more fun so some other guy will be attracted to you and so other people will wonder what special, wonderful secret you have.

    In that way, the envy has charged up your battery for good.
  • May 22, 2010, 07:49 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by adiggs1 View Post
    We're around 12.
    Like maybe 11 -- or even 10?
  • May 22, 2010, 08:29 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Like maybe 11 -- or even 10?

    I would wager not even eleven yet!

    What is the world is happening to children these days? Little girl you need to get your head out of the clouds and stop trying to imitate some of the trashy teen movies you must be watching.

    You should concentrate on what you are in school to accomplish. You're not there to find a boyfriend and cuddle in the hallways. Studying!Studying! Studying! I'm certainly glad you are wise enough at least to ask advice on this site and I'm pretty darn sure you're not going to see anyone agreeing with you about this.
  • May 22, 2010, 08:46 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by adiggs1 View Post
    We're around 12.
    "Around 12" translates to younger than that, right?

    You can quote Mark Twain in your post, so try to follow your own advice:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...or-401113.html

    Go be a kid. Go be a smart, happy kid.
  • May 23, 2010, 01:57 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    "Around 12" translates to younger than that, right?

    You can quote Mark Twain in your post, so try to follow your own advice:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...or-401113.html

    Go be a kid. Go be a smart, happy kid.




    My goodness when I was, "close to twelve", I was still playing with dolls. What a different world. I'll bet your parents don't even know you're acting this way.
  • May 23, 2010, 03:46 PM
    highachiever

    I must agree with KitKat. You are very, very young and there are tons of boys out there. There are a ton of boys you haven't even met yet. And just to let you know, they are better looking in high school than they are in middle school too! Just wait a few more years, and you will find a nice boy who appreciates you and treats you right! :)
  • May 23, 2010, 06:11 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by highachiever View Post
    I must agree with KitKat. You are very, very young and there are tons of boys out there. There are a ton of boys you haven't even met yet. And just to let you know, they are better looking in high school than they are in middle school too! Just wait a few more years, and you will find a nice boy who appreciates you and treats you right! :)
    You have your whole life ahead of you and you don't need to get sidetracked by boys.
  • Jan 1, 2012, 10:58 PM
    axdwdrgc
    Well from what I can see if your friend is mean enough to gloat even though she knows it hurts you and her and her boyfriend get along, then I don't think that he's a good guy for you to like. Go for the nice guys that are always stuck in the friend zone. Like this video says (the bottom link) nice guys finish last. This is why because your paying attention to the nice guys who act kind to people. It just seems that that couple isn't one that you should be hanging around and if your "friend" would gloat I don't think she's really your friend.

    Sorry here's the link:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fz3zFqLc3E

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