Newbie looking for answers from others about an ex possibly trying to get back...
All right well this might be a little long here but I don't know I feel as if I have to get others opinions on this because if I don't I feel like my head might explode lol. Anyway I started dating this girl from work who is 19 and I am 22 back last August (2005). I was her first everything kiss, relationship, sex partner, etc. Everything was going fine up until she got this new job in a shoe store where she met this guy and all of a sudden she is goofing around with him, anyway to make a long story short she cheats on me on with this guy just before she is about to go study abroad in england. She claims that she really loves this guy etc, because he tried to kill himself just like she did before she met me trying to cut her wrists (even to this day). I mean she tells me that his ex tried to hold a knife to his throat so he can deal with her in those situations while I admit I couldn't because to be honest whenever she was in those moods she was impossible to deal with she would just like give me these nasty looks and talk really nasty. The breaking point between us was on labor day we were suppoused to go to the beach (coney island) and she took off from work (another story where finally she took off for me... after I would always take off for her from my job while she would always refuse to take off) to go see fireworks at night. Anyway I get a call that some friends want to get together and play baseball and I basically tell her I don't want to play I would rather spend my time with her that day and she is like no play its fine anyway we play the game rather quickly that most of my friends are like lets play another game. I turn to her cause I asked her to meet me this way we could go to the beach afterwards and ask her is it okay... she says yeah sure. Once again long story short the game took longer then expected this time and its now 5pm and she has this nasty attitude after the game and on the way to the beach I even let her calm down on the train and let her listen to her music figuring she might calm down, once again we get there and she isn't she still has the same attitude she had. So we get there and I keep asking her what's up and she is like oh I am just thinking about how bad my summer was how I didn't get my life guarding job. Now she didn't get it yes but this girl did so much to improve that when she started training she was off the time by 15 seconds... and by the last day of tryouts she missed it by .4 seconds. Once again she dwells on the negative instead of the positive, anyway the night continues and she ignores me and starts screaming how I always bring her down etc. When all I keep telling her is try to highlight the positive not the negative, which is something she can't do because she is very depressed and hates life. It got so bad that night the started crying and I started screaming cause I couldn't take her anymore, she was even having breathing problems etc. When I wasn't even screaming that much. So the fireworks come and I basically stand like behind her but not next to her where she realizes I am pissed, and then once again she gets pissed even more because she says that I wasn't holding her after everything she was doing to me. Anyway push came to shove and we broke up like two weeks before she left for england then the next day we met to go to the empire state building where something got ignited cause we ended up having sex. I asked her what this means and she was like we're back together, anyway three days later after talking to the guy from work and him asking why is she with me still because she told him she didn't want to be with anyone, I noticed a even bigger change where she didn't even want to spend time with me ignoring me etc. Then I later find out that she had kissed him in the store, that was my final straw and I blew my gasket I yelled like what's your problem why can't you ever tell me anything and open up. Which has always been her problem because when she does open up we always were great but the second she reverted back to being depressed and dark it went to hell. She even had the guts to say during when I was screaming to her stop screaming you are making me feel bad? I am like how do you think you are making me feel?
Anyway she is now in england I have noticed slowly that she is communicating with me, like when she first got to england I tried to request her as a friend on myspace, she declined me... all of a sudden a few weeks ago she friend requested me now. Then she started traveling around europe and started sending me postcards with each one becoming more personal with a horse drawn on the end like when we were together. There were 10 post cards altogether. I mean yes okay I realize that the other guy was getting these as well but why would you waste air fare from europe to have them sent to the us to someone that she hates and has told me this on numerous occasions before she was leaving and during the first half of her trip. So she comes back from her trip and back to her college in england from her stops in paris, etc. She starts communicating with me online and I kind of blew her off like not nasty just like oh I am going somewhere and then when I get back she asks me instantly where did I go why did I leave so fast? Then when I kind of blew her trip off and asking her how it went in a nice way, she as her away message as how she doesn't want to talk to anyone the human race sucks. Then she talks to me yesterday asking me how our fish that we bought together is doing, and then starts going on about how she is really stressed out cause of school and her final projects. And that she has no time to talk to anyone anymore. But for some reason she is talking with me. Then she asks me if I am taping the new season of gilmore girls for her which I told her yeah since I work during those hours so I want to watch it myself anyway and she is like great when I come back I'll watch them over your house before I go back to school in binghamton, and then if I haven't watched them all I will come back during my next vacation and watch the rest. Once again we went from her hating my guts to her now possibly coming over my house. Then I started telling her how I was going out with co-workers and drinking socially and she is like "wow my little boy is all grown up". She said that because when we were together I really didn't like drinking cause I was kind of a heavy drinker during my high school days cause of family problems, but still just the way she worded it. In conclusion I have to ask all of you what do I do here because to me and to the people I ask at work where we met she sounds like she wants to get back together cause as they said the evidence is starting to build up more and more each day. I mean this girl when we started dating had no confidence in herself was a gothic chick in everyway, and when we were together she was laughing and smiling like no one ever saw her. For my b-day she even made me a scrap book of our first year together, everything done by her hand it took her 2 months to make she claims and only three weeks later she claims she hates me out of nowhere and says she only did that cause she had too when I never asked for it to begin with. Then she says yesterday how she was in spain and saw something there and instantly thought of me and got me something. Then she also sends me a picture of a wrestler I like and goes hope you like it I was thinking of you when I took it. And now on her myspace her new guy hasn't left her a message in almost a month where in previous months he did it weekly. I mean I am here to ask all of you guys to analyze this and tell me what does she want from me? Does she indeed want to get back together with me when she comes back in January from england and poland? Because after telling the people at work where we met what is going on they all said that there is no doubt she wants to get back together. I still do love her she was my first love not my first g/f but the first girl I ever did care about but I don't know if I can forgive her for cheating on me. I mean my way of dealing with her at through out this entire time was for her to contact me, and not me to contact her cause I don't want her to think I am thinking of her all the time which I really wasn't anyway. I mean even the first week she got to england back in September while she was saying she hate me etc. she called me late one night when I was asleep I didn't pick up and she left me a phone message almost crying saying how she was worried about me and that she doesn't even know if I want to talk with her but here are her phone numbers in england which she never wanted to give to me in our prior convos and all of suddent that night she gave them to me early on even during her fighting period. I later asked her about it and she is like oh I was just really sick and I wasn't crying I was really cold and felt like I could use one of your large hoodies to sleep in which she used to do when she was with me. I found it weird but I just shook it off. And then for her to act like the way she did saying she hates me but then to come and do this stuff recently its like okay? When we were together I treated her like a queen and bent my head backwards for her. And never appreciated do you really think its possible that after everything that she might appreciate me now and that her feelings are geunine after her long trip in europe?
