Whyyyyyyy do guys have to be so confusing?? Why why Why why?! What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels? I'm not even sure if we're in a relationship or if were just friends that make out. -____- Nrgh! There's other issues I'm having trouble dealing with, why do I always fall?? Fine, you know he didn't ask for this, I'm the one who was interested in him. It's all from what that damn woman said, and then these things started coming true. They've never got me right before, it's just coincidence. He lives in Freeport. I broke up with Christ because he lived so far away... Chris also refused to get a car, and stopped calling and even emailng me. It isn't as thought he didn't have the time, he did, after skipping his classes and flunking out. All I could think is "Damn you, I'd kill to go to college! I have to work full time, you got it free, and all the time... no work... You blew such and opportunity and didn't appreciate it!!!" His Mom for some unknown reason still blames me for Chris dropping out. Guess her little boy could do no wrong, eh parents always think their kids are better than anyone else's, even when they're wrong.

I think I'm mostly upset because he is moving in with one of his friends... Some girl... I know I know he needs to move out... It'll be good for him, where he's living now is not. I just have painful memories from past experiences flooding through me of things that happened in the past. My boyfreind, my fiancé moving in with a mutual friend. She was married, but that didn't stop her from sleeping with him. I vowed I wouldn't let that happen again... I hinted that I was looking for a roommate so I could move out, I guess he doesn't want to. Or he'd oblivious. I really hadn't intended to do anything like that so soon, as we are still getting to know each other, and that's a really big jump. I'm just worried about him moving in with another woman... Afraid of past events repeating themselves... Scared. I'm not even sure if he's my boyfreind. He's kissed me, he wants to spend time with me... But he's never said he loves me. Should I say something? Should I wait? I have an overwhelming feeling that either option I choose I will regret, but I think I'm just being paranoid. I should just be happy that he's getting out of that house with that cramped room with his wife... his wife...

Yeeaahhh... That's something else I swore I wouldn't do. He's married. I didn't know that before, as he always referred to her as is exwife. They say it's over, his wife already has a new boyfreind. At the moment he's living with her and him, but he's planning on moving out with a friend of his. I didn't meet him until after they "started having problems." He say's in his mind it's over, but I have a conflict going on inside of me. I'm confused. Maby that's why he doesn't ever say he loves me. I'm really not even sure how he thinks of me. Maby I put too much into a kiss.

Wait - he's still with his wife?

I bet he NEVER moves - he lies to you to sleep with you. Get a clue.

MORE lies??

Move on - he's ALREADY LIED to you. Stop contact with him today - what a loser he is.

He thinks of you as easy prey.

AND he's moving I nwith another woman?? Beautiful - how about 3 some??

Get real - find a nice available man

Completely agree with Wildcat so I am not going to write my usual essay.

Move on and find an available man.

Stay hooked to this guy and end up getting more pain and trouble.

Up to you though, it's your life...

You have to live with the consequences of the decisions you make!!

First, I think if you are assuming a kiss means the person is in love with you, you are, for the most part mistaken. A kiss can be many things, from physical satisfaction to a simple affection to an act of love...

But you are so far in over your head its really frightening.

Id be cautious about the marriage thing. You never know the truth. My mother and father were legally married but separated for a few years... with no intention of getting back together. Likewise, my fathers parents also were separated for years but never divorced, and there was absolutely no good blood between them unfortunately.

The guy is living with his maybe-someday-an-ex and her boyfriend...

Wow. OK this might work for bruce willis/demi moore/ashten kutcher, and its certainly great fodder for springers show, but I'm thinking this might not, just maybe, be a stable relationship to be in.

Whenever you have to say "hes a great guy BUT"... oftentimes you are trying to make excuses for whatever follows the "but"...

You are in too deep no matter what. Back off. If he's doesn't pursue you, he wasn't that interested anyway. If he does, proceed at your own risk.

But don't assume someone will be in love with you if they kiss you. I have a friend, smart, cute, who had three failed marriages. Largely because she believed if you were having sex with someone you should marry them.

OK... I see the merits in such an approach and I understand its religious basis, though hers was not religious... but this led her to two awful marriages and one that sucked on a much smaller scale. Thankfully, she finally got it right.

Anytime you find yourself fretting like this over a relationship (and especially when you don't even KNOW if you have a relationship) it's a red flag.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Wait - he's still with his wife?

I bet he NEVER moves - he lies to you to sleep with you. Get a clue.

MORE lies???

Move on - he's ALREADY LIED to you. Stop contact with him today - what a loser he is.

He thinks of you as easy prey.

AND he's moving i nwith another woman???? Beautiful - how about 3 some????

Get real - find a nice avaialble man

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We started as friends in a group. He called her his ex mostly to save him from long explanations. When we first kissed he told me, I heard it from him. I'm not sleeping with him. I'm not like that. I will NOT sleep with a married man. Even if he were single, we've only I know how hard it can be to move out on your own, but I'm also really suspicious. He hasn't moved in with her yet, but we were just starting to get serious. Maby I shouldn't push it, just stay friends for now until things aren't complicated and messed up like they are.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

first, i think if you are assuming a kiss means the person is in love with you, you are, for the most part mistaken. a kiss can be many things, from physical satisfaction to a simple affection to an act of love....

but you are so far in over your head its really frightening.

id be cautious about the marraige thing. you never know the truth. my mother and father were legally married but separated for a few years... with no intention of getting back together. likewise, my fathers parents also were separated for years but never divorced, and there was absolutely no good blood between them unfortunately.

the guy is living with his maybe-someday-an-ex and her bf...

wow. ok this might work for bruce willis/demi moore/ashten kutcher, and its certainly great fodder for springers show, but im thinking this might not, just maybe, be a stable relationship to be in.

whenever you have to say "hes a great guy BUT"... oftentimes you are trying to make excuses for whatever follows the "but"...

you are in too deep no matter what. back off. if hes doesnt pursue you, he wasnt that interested anyway. if he does, proceed at your own risk.

but dont assume someone will be in love with you if they kiss you. i have a friend, smart, cute, who had three failed marriages. largely because she believed if you were having sex with someone you should marry them.

ok... i see the merits in such an approach and i understand its religious basis, though hers was not religious... but this led her to two awful marriages and one that sucked on a much smaller scale. thankfully, she finally got it right.

anytime you find yourself fretting like this over a relationship (and especially when you dont even KNOW if you have a relationship) its a red flag.

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Luckilly I don't think I'm in that deep yet :) We'd just been flirting, and he'd been calling me to go out on dates. Backing out and just being friends at the club we both belong to sounds like a good idea. You're right, I was looking too much into that kiss, and flirtation. Hey, maby someday it'll be something more, but right now... It's just not right I don't think. It's kind of depressing to think of though o_o Finally found someone who likes all the same things I do and had all the traits I wanted in a companion... But I won't change my morals. Hey, if it's meant to be it will be. Technically he's still married, so hands off and though it's hard to follow through I think that's the right thing to do, so that's just the way it has to be.

Stop calling him your boyfriend and have nothing to do with him anymore!

He is married and therefore not your boyfriend. He is someone else's wife.

Each situation can be different, I will agree, but this isn't the first "hes perfect for me but hes married" post here... most of which deal with broken hearts. And, like I said, my parents were probably a rare exception. They didn't divorce for a few years but dated, never getting back together. Most of it was technical stuff. Not making excuses... id never have dated a married woman... but just pointing out that we assume the worst for a reason, but maybe there's more to the story.

I know you know what you should do, for yourself. Not sure you completely believe it (as in you really are done with the boyfriend relationship) yet, but you are talking the talk... which is fine. You just posted. You just got some feedback. You deserve some time to process and act it, not just speak it. The fact you wrote here means you are trying to figure out what to do.

You probably need to understand why they are not divorced. It's a reasonable question from the person who he has been kissing. If he gets angry about it, it probably means he's hiding something or he has no intention of getting divorced.

When I was dating my wife we talked about the guy she was engaged to before me and she still worked with him and was friends with him. It was a reasonable discussion.

So if you want to know the truth, and isn't that just better than wondering, ask him about the divorce-that-hasnt-happened. If he explodes, he's not ready to be in a relationship.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skell

Stop calling him your boyfriend and have nothing to do with him anymore!

He is married and therefore not your boyfriend. he is someone else's wife.

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I thought that made him someone else's husband :p It's a little more complicated than that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by darksaila

I thought that made him someone else's husband :p It's a little more complicated than that.

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actually if he were someone else's wife it would be even more interesting, complicated, and definitely Springer material. =)

LOL

Sorry, my stupid.

Doesn't happen often that I'm wrong so lap it up... NOT!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kp2171

each situation can be different, i will agree, but this isnt the first "hes perfect for me but hes married" post here... most of which deal with broken hearts. and, like i said, my parents were probably a rare exception. they didnt divorce for a few years but dated, never getting back together. most of it was technical stuff. not making excuses... id never have dated a married woman... but just pointing out that we assume the worst for a reason, but maybe theres more to the story.

i know you know what you should do, for yourself. not sure you completely believe it (as in you really are done with the bf relationship) yet, but you are talking the talk... which is fine. you just posted. you just got some feedback. you deserve some time to process and act it, not just speak it. the fact you wrote here means you are trying to figure out what to do.

you probably need to understand why they are not divorced. its a reasonable question from the person who he has been kissing. if he gets angry about it, it probably means hes hiding something or he has no intention of getting divorced.

when i was dating my wife we talked about the guy she was engaged to before me and she still worked with him and was friends with him. it was a reasonable discussion.

so if you want to know the truth, and isnt that just better than wondering, ask him about the divorce-that-hasnt-happened. if he explodes, hes not ready to be in a relationship.

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Well, no not perfect. He is a pretty passive guy, so I doubt he'll get angry and yell about it. I have a lot of questions, yeah and I am trying to figure out what to do. Talking to him about it is the best thing. I make better decisions when I know all the facts, this is just a difficult thing for me to bring up. I wanted feedback as I wasn't sure if my feelings were resonable. But it sounds like they are. Talking about it helps (to you, who are being constructive anyway :o ) And another perspective helps quite a bit, life's too short to learn everything first hand. There's lots of mabys. Maby he hasn't said he loves me is because he is married, and likes me but isn't going to get in a relationship until the other one is over or who knows? The points you make are good. Maby it's good, maby it's bad. Yes, I do need time to process this. I still would want to be friends, as that should be okay I think. That's what we've been to this point, and things had just started to get serious, but I guess they weren't at a relationship level yet. (Though I have had relationships in the past laced with it, and find it impossible to have them as friends.) Knowing the full truth would help. I just have to be strong enough to handle what I hear, be it good or bad, and in the end do what I believe to be right.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skell

LOL

Sorry, my stupid.

Doesnt happen often that im wrong so lap it up........ NOT!!

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LOL, 's okay, I needed the laugh. I just realized I mistyped too. "I broke up with Christ because he lived so far away..." I meant Chris, apparently I dated Christ... :confused:

Yeah, I thought he was my boyfriend until the bomb was dropped, so I guess it's habit I call him my boyfriend. But I don't think he will be until he truly honestly is single. And now he's not. Not really. Right now I just have a feeling in the pit of my stomach it isn't right. And if it happens we date when he is really single, great. If not, well it won't be easy, but that's the way it is. I'm just glad he told me before I did get in over my head and things got serious.

Christ lives in freeport? =)

I think you have the right attitude happening here.

If it isn't right in the pit of your stomach then quite frankly it isn't right.

You know what is right and wrong and you should act appropriately.

If I may bring another thing to light, you may want to consider, and that is being a rebound to someone ending a relationship and jumps right into another. Very messy and hurtfull and not good for either person. You should be very wary of any one getting out of long term relationships and cautious with this type of friendship. Not healthy at all.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by darksaila

Whyyyyyyy do guys have to be so confusing??? Why why Why why?!?!?!? What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels? I'm not even sure if we're in a relationship or if were just freinds that make out. -____- Nrgh! There's other issues I'm having trouble dealing with, why do I always fall?!?! Fine, you know he didn't ask for this, I'm the one who was interested in him. It's all from what that damn woman said, and then theese things started coming true. They've never got me right before, it's just coincidence. He lives in Freeport. I broke up with Christ because he lived so far away... Chris also refused to get a car, and stopped calling and even emailng me. It isn't as thought he didn't have the time, he did, after skipping his classes and flunking out. All I could think is "Damn you, I'd kill to go to college! I have to work full time, you got it free, and all the time... no work... You blew such and opportunity and didn't appreciate it!!!" His Mom for some unknown reason still blames me for Chris dropping out. Guess her little boy could do no wrong, eh parents always think their kids are better than anyone elses, even when they're wrong.

I think I'm mostly upset because he is moving in with one of his freinds... Some girl... I know I know he needs to move out... It'll be good for him, where he's living now is not. I just have painful memories from past experiences flooding through me of things that happened in the past. My boyfreind, my fiance moving in with a mutual freind. She was married, but that didn't stop her from sleeping with him. I vowed I wouldn't let that happen again... I hinted that I was looking for a roomate so I could move out, I guess he doesn't want to. Or he'd oblivious. I really hadn't intended to do anything like that so soon, as we are still getting to know each other, and that's a really big jump. I'm just worried about him moving in with another woman.... Afraid of past events repeating themselves.... Scared. I'm not even sure if he's my boyfreind. He's kissed me, he wants to spend time with me... But he's never said he loves me. Should I say something? Should I wait? I have an overwhelming feeling that either option I choose I will regret, but I think I'm just being paranoid. I should just be happy that he's getting out of that house with that cramped room with his wife.... his wife...

Yeeaahhh.... That's something else I swore I wouldn't do. He's married. I didn't know that before, as he always referred to her as is exwife. They say it's over, his wife already has a new boyfreind. At the moment he's living with her and him, but he's planning on moving out with a freind of his. I didn't meet him untill after they "started having problems." He say's in his mind it's over, but I have a conflict going on inside of me. I'm confused. Maby that's why he doesn't ever say he loves me. I'm really not even sure how he thinks of me. Maby I put too much into a kiss.

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Girl lave his he is not worth it!!